Moving nerves

[CatLady93]

Hi all, we're due to put our house on the market in a month or so to move to a new area. We've been talking about it for ages, done many trips there to scope out our top areas etc. We'll be closer to family which is a big pull. But the tricky thing is that I don't dislike our current home or our current area, we can just achieve a much better quality of life if we move. Bigger garden, better schools, a location that feels more 'us'. I think I just have those pre move nerves as it's going to be quite a big change. The new area is a bit of a dream lifestyle wise and we are so excited by it. But I can't shake the nerves that what if the new place doesn't feel like home, and what if I really miss our current house. Any words of wisdom greatly appreciated!!

We moved in the summer for all the right reasons because we needed to upsize but I was so worried about the change and whether I would feel regret or settle in well at the new place. I hate change and hate saying goodbye to the comfortable. The house we were living in I didn’t like when I first bought it and moved in but it had got familiar and comfortable and it was setup exactly how I wanted it. I was really worried that I would hate moving to a new place, I would miss the last house and I would feel sadness and regret.

But I read something on here that really helped me; someone posted a response to a thread about house buying remorse. They said they’ve cried [with regret] every time they’ve entered a new house and cried [with saddness] every time they’ve moved out of a house. I realised it’s completely normal to hate a new place at the start but then not want to leave it at the end and that’s because everyone hates change even if it’s change that’s wanted/ needed. I started looking up lots of threads about house buying/moving remorse and a lot of people said they hated the change and the new house but they loved the new house in the end.

It really helped me to have realistic expectations; to know that I would miss the old house and I wouldn’t love the new one immediately and it’s completely normal to feel that way really helped when it eventually came to moving.

The other thing we did was make one room OK at the very start. We need to do up the master so have made a spare room our bedroom for now and I painted it the same colour as our old bedroom and laid it out in a very similar way to make it as familiar as possible. It’s been a great sanctuary when the rest of the house has been a bit of a mess!

It's normal for it to feel a bit unsettling. I'm usually so excited about looking at houses and moving that it doesn't hit me until I am in the new house, surrounded by boxes and nothing feels quite right for a while. I can assure you that in all 3 houses where I felt like that they all felt like home and I haven't wanted to leave them. The worst was when I moved with a newborn and was a bit overwhelmed by the exhaustion and unpacking, couldn't figure out the heating and hot water, couldn't find anything. It felt terrible. One thing that helped was we started going to toddler groups in the new area before we moved to help the toddler adjust and to get to know a few people.

We are due to relocate to Yorkshire from Cheshire in 4 weeks and I am anxious about the whole move and have contemplated changing my mind so many times but I know if we do not move, I will regret it as we have been wanting to move for a while. It is just the unknown and if we hate the house and after 2 years still can't settle in the new area, then we will move again. Good luck

I felt exactly the same. We lived in our previous house for 15 years first home brought kids up there loads of memories but knew we had outgrown the area and house. We sold very quickly, the day before the move I couldn’t eat felt so anxious felt nauseous. The move day was good all went to plan. I knew we’d done the right thing. Now 10 years on we are on the market again. Love the house and where we live but now wanting to move out of area and downsize as both kids have moved out. When we first put house on market I said if we hadn’t sold in 6 months we would stay as I thought I’d be sad to move, but now 3 months on we’ve had viewings but no offers and we’ve found 3 properties we like one has now sold and I just want to move now. My thoughts have completely changed. Moving is such a big emotional thing thing to do but just remember there’s always a reason why you wanted to move and usually you know you’ve made the right decision.

I get an end-of-an-era thing when I move (sounds more melodramatic than it is!) and that always makes me think too much!

@Nic834 Thank you soooo much, that's so so reassuring! And what an amazing tip about getting one room feeling ok and familiar right at the start. Will definitely try and do that. Made me feel much better thank you x

@WonderingWanda I relate so much! It all feels so hypothetical at the moment. We are pondering baby #2 at the moment so will bear that in mind re moving with a newborn.. toddler groups in the new area is a great idea!!

@AlwaysGrateful Aw wishing you so much luck for your move. Cheshire is so lovely, hopefully you'll be really happy there but as you say, nothing really has to be permanent so you can just see how you go!

@Stumpy54321 You're right it's such an emotional thing isn't it. I'm such a home-y person too, it really matters to me how my space feels and looks etc!! You sort of have to trust your head don't you when in the moment your heart is saying 'please don't make me leave my comfy house!!' We've thought about this move long and hard for a good year or two. Leaving London to go to the south coast hopefully and it feels like an amazing move for lifestyle and to be closer to family etc and we just adore the area.. whereas London has never really fully felt like home weirdly!

@chojoko I totally get that, I feel the same!

So very true. Your home is your safe place, but your new home will be as well. Good luck with your new home you will be sitting in your lovely new home one day and know you did the right thing