Buyer's remorse

[UnsettledMarigolds]

Hello all!

We just completed last week on a detached house and I am having major buyer's remorse! I have noticed that the garden is overlooked by a neighbour at the bottom left corner- I'm not sure how I missed that before, maybe because we viewed in the summer. And now it's bothering me. The window of the neighbour looks like it's on the 3rd floor, I haven't seen yet any lights on that window though.the garden also looks smaller, the brochures all say 90ft but it feels smaller. We also discovered more work needs to be done when we expected dit to be more turnkey. Help! This is likely to be a long term home and I am just not feeling it :(

I had huge buyers remorse when we bought our first home 3 years ago. We always said that our first home would be our forever home (naive - I know) but have come to accept that it's probably going to be a 5 year home and then we will hopefully move. We need more space and didn't realise how expensive all the changes we wanted to make would be.

I would say it took a good year before I felt at home, and others will probably tell you the same.

Have a look at what ideas you can do to help the problem with the overlooked garden - maybe plant a tree?

Good luck OP

Totally normal. You’ll have to give it 6 months to a year to feel like home

I don't think a window looking into the bottom of your 90 foot garden is likely to be a problem. People don't tend to spend their time gazing out the window at other people in their gardens.

It's also completely normal to feel a bit overwhelmed by what might need doing once you move into a place. Our current house needed a lot done which wasn't really noticeable when we viewed it and I felt a bit down about it. We have redone all of it over years and I absolutely love it now.

Those are pretty weak reasons for remorse. One window overlooking a part of your 90ft long garden and needing to do a bit of work? Give your head a wobble

I had buyers remorse when a week after moving in we realised there was a huge problem with the drains and also kitchen open to huge conservatory meant the heating bill was horrific (£160 in less than 2 weeks!!!). Loved the house in the end though- give it time op.

I presume this is a rural property. I live in town, so every garden is overlooked by multiple other houses / flats. It is something you can get used to, unless you do a lot of garden crime, or sunbathing naked.

With the work, see what needs doing straight away and what can wait. Even new builds come with snagging lists, so it is hard to avoid any issues. It often takes time to settle in and find things to love.

Give it time.

We had a traumatic moving day, which resulted in me hating our new house for months and months.

I'm now 7 months in, and have got over the hate and now see it as 'my' house, rather than constantly thinking wtf had I done.

(Obviously DH totally unaware of all of this, he loved it from the start).

Thank you all for your messages! It's not rural property - it's overlooked from the back tok if that makes sense . Ie we have neighbours from the side as well ( that doesn't quite bother me) but the neighbours at the back - we can see from all of the windows even when we're sitting in the living room. So it looks into the living room. The garden does sound long but because it looks and smaller, the window at the neighbour at the back feels a lot closer.

I must add too that these were the things I spotted upon moving in, there were other things too that made me nit sure of the house in the first place. Unfortunately supply is limited in the area and we have to move soon so it does feel like we've settled for the house

The apparent size of a garden is as much to do with how it's arranged than its actual size. People tell us that ours (about the same length as yours) looks far bigger now than when they first saw it. We divided it up so a lot of the the bottom 1/3 or so is behind 6' high trellising with 2 arches through- we have our shed, compost heaps, and veg back there. That give both us and our neighbours at the back privacy, without having to have a huge shade-creating hedge between us as there was before. And once we get climbers on the trellising the plants will be even higher. My MIL, a great gardener, always said that you should never be able to see the whole of a garden at once. Could you do the same with your overlooked bit? Trellis it off, and make it where you keep your shed/wheelbarrow/veg/some fruit bushes/trees?

@BlueMongoose that's a great idea thank you! I think there is some illusion going on like you say, the patio is also quite wide ( around 10 feet) and is raised so potentially makes the garden looks smaller too. We paid a lot of money for the house ( don't we all!) and a good sized garden was one of our criteria so to show up on completion and feeling like the garden was smaller was not ideal!

I created a thread after buying our house. My anxiety and buyers remorse was through the roof, I actually ended up on antidepressants to take away the feeling it was that bad. Anyway, it now feels like home and most of the time the anxiety is gone. I agree with the others, live in the house for a bit and you can start to make plans to fix the things bothering you - screening plants, curtains/blinds, trellis, partitioning the garden etc. Best of luck, it's not a nice feeling and like you say so difficult to decide when you need to move and its so much money! But I do truly believe it will all be OK for you.

I had buyers remorse in the first week of buying out first house , having paid over the asking price, having looked at loads of properties. Told my partner it was never going to be "home" he agreed and we decided to start looking again. Weirdly found our home by chance and it wasn't even on the market. Ended up by directly from the owners no estate agents, we did have to buy out of our first mortgage.
Even in all the chaos of moving again and with multiple pets I knew I was right, been in this house nearly ten years now and it's great

I think you have a good point there about width. Ours is wide, so actually looks shorter than it is. We've narrowed the 2/3 or so on the house side of the trellis by putting a deep border down one side, which makes it look longer, plus other things too. A garden as big as yours has lots of possibilities!

Thank you all! And yes I keep telling myself how fortunate we are, ny DH loves it but I can't help feeling unsettled. Will see how I feel after a few months! And the house has lots of fake beams which I have been told would cost a lot to remove and make good as it's old plaster:( eek. One thing after another!

Surely a big garden gives you lots of opportunities to plant tall trees if you want to shield from other peoples views.