Do I still dare to dream?

[countrytweed]

Long story short... our dream house came up in our village, we scrabbled to get ours on the market and put in an offer which they accepted (following a very heartfelt letter that we're also in the village, feel like this is our forever home etc) pending the sale of ours.

Yesterday we had a very positive viewing (second viewing this Friday) and we've got two FTBs lined up to see it on Sat. Thing is, yesterday our dream house accepted an offer with a proceedable buyer.

My question is... if anything comes of this weekend's viewings, do we still stand a chance even though they've gone with the other buyer (ie if we were proceedable plus upped our offer slightly)?? I'm not ready to let go of the dream yet... 😥

Technically you'd be gazumping, or trying to.

If you get an offer on yours, put an offer forward and say if the current sale falls through to give you a call.

If you don't get this dream place, are you planning on moving at all?

@sweetpickle2 probably not - it's this other nothing really.

You would be gazumping the people who are in a proceedable position. Whether it works depends on the people selling the house, whether they want more money or if they want to stick to their principles. Nobody here can say which they will go.

I’m inclined to say that people will accept an offer to gazump are also not likely to accept any reduction further down the line, regardless of what the survey brings back. Or if they do really want it to go to someone in the village and they pick you, there is a risk they don’t trust you not to knock the price down when you get survey results.

lots of stuff happens between offer and completion so put a letter in if you get to be in a proceedable position to say you are still interested if anything happens (I'd be tempted to pop it through the seller's letter box too just in case it gets lost by the agent)...

I don't think it's fair to accuse her of gazumping. They'd already accepted her offer!

given that @countrytweed if you still really want the house I'd tell them you now have a buyer (when you do) & hope they'll honour the offer they accepted!!

I think this only works if the sale falls through in the next few weeks as OP has said it’s this house or nothing. Otherwise OP is stringing their buyers along (if someone offers) and presumably as the buyers think they are getting close to exchange, OP will delay and delay until the dream house is completed and then just take the house off the market. Regardless of the thousands of £ lost by buyers, their time and emotional energy. People do it but it’s really shitty and I personally wouldn’t want to be that person.

@AutumnLeaves24 they weren’t proceedable so the accepted offer was never real. It could never move forward until OP sold their home, which they still haven’t done and may not do this weekend. The sellers have accepted an offer from someone who is proceedable, that is the only real offer on the table and OP is going to go and offer over that. It’s gazumping. If OP was the person who put a proceedable offer in, it was accepted and then they lost that house because of someone offering more, they would have been gazumped and people here would be pointing out its shitty but the broken system. Again, nothing stopping OP doing this but they need to own that it’s gazumping.

Accepted the offer pending the sale of hers, which she hasn't yet. And I said "technically" gazumping, because regardless of nuance that's what it is.

Imagine you are the other buyer who has put in an offer and had it accepted in good faith, and then get told a few days later they've accepted a higher one. I'm not saying the seller won't or shouldn't, just that you would be upsetting another person.

If the OP is not planning to move if they don't get this house then they'll be letting down their future buyer as well.

I'm sorry this has happened but it's really silly for sellers to accept an offer from someone who is not proceedable and for buyers to offer. It's a tactic EA's use to make the house more desirable and bump up prices.

Thanks for your replies. I think I'm going to see how this weekend goes and see if we get any offers. It might technically be gazumping but it certainly doesn't feel like it right now (from the outside of course you're entitled to your own opinions).

I certainly wouldn't do this further down the line, but a week later... I'm not so sure. As for upsetting another person, I'm not sure anyone comes away unscathed by the house-buying process! I've been in tears most of today.

First I'll see if any offers come about, then I think I'll put it forwards. They can only say no.

There is no technically about it, it is gazumping. Again, there is nothing preventing you from doing that but at least own it.

I'm not sure anyone comes away unscathed by the house-buying process! I've been in tears most of today.
You’ve been in tears most of the day because you got ahead of yourself. It was never a real offer because you haven’t sold your house. I had nearly sold my house and put an offer in on a house I loved, I wasn’t proceedable but they were “interested” in my offer. That sale for my property fell through and someone came in and offered on the house I’d fallen in love with but my offer was never real. Even though when I was proceedable a week later, I didn’t have a real offer on the table when I offered. There’s a difference to you getting ahead of yourself and being gazumped. Again nothing stopping you though.

Wow, someone's taken their empathy pills today.

They accepted your offer then discarded it for a better one? Fuck em. Keep looking. No good will come of going back to them, maybe it's the other people's dream house too and that feels too cruel to barge in.

I don't think it displays a lack of empathy to point out that getting so emotionally invested in house you have only looked at once and can't yet buy that you are in tears is a bit OTT.

I’ll never understand people who take this attitude to house buying. In tears ffs?! At the end of the day, however you might feel about a house it’s a business transaction. I had 3 places fall through before I bought my place and not once was I crying over it. I took the attitude that it wasn’t mine and might not happen until I’d completed and was sat inside the fucker putting the kettle on. Take the emotion out. If you say you wouldn’t move if you don’t get the “dream house” then you don’t really need or want to move. Why not focus your efforts and money on making your current house your dream house.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feeling of others. Did you miss the part where I said I also offered on a house I loved, wasn’t proceedable and didn’t get it? So not only am I able to understand your feelings, I’ve been there and felt them. However, I am also not emotionally invested in this house and can see this clearly, which you can’t.

Just because you don’t like being told that you got ahead of yourself and you will be gazumping doesn’t mean I lack empathy.

Thank you for confirming my thoughts 😁

Honestly there is nothing preventing you from gazumping. It’s not illegal. The estate agents sometimes encourage it because it drives up their commission. It’s how many people have bought a house. Many people think of it as a shitty thing to do and some just don’t.

I think you view it as a shitty thing to do, which is why you’re convincing yourself it’s not “technically” gazumping. If you didn’t think gazumping was shitty, you would just say “yep, but it’s a business transaction and that’s life”. But that only works if you can accept being gazumped if it was the other way around, probably not if you’ve been in tears all day. Empathy works two ways and not just the way that benefits you. The mental gymnastics going on here to make it “technically” ok is astounding really.

As I’ve said repeatedly, it gazumping but just own it.

As mentioned, I think offering much further down the line as an outsider is a shitty thing to do. At this stage and with my involvement (there's more nuance but I did "long story short") I subscribe to the Ryan Serhant school of thinking. And I own it.

Just a reminder, if something means a lot to you (and it happens to collide head on with hormones), it's absolutely ok to cry. It's not a weakness. I own that too.

Thank you for the (helpful) comments x

I'm sitting in a house that we thought we'd lost, vendors accepted an offer a week before we were proceedable ourselves, and then a couple of months later their sale fell through and were back on the market. We snapped it up and still can't believe our luck it worked out! So you never know.

Thr trouble is, if you don't want any other house, there's little point hanging on for a just in case scenario and messing your buyers around. We were looking elsewhere in the meantime and always planned on moving.

When did you have your offer accepted and is it clear you are proceeding, I.e. have you booked a survey etc.? Anyone can write a nice letter, but when you start spending money on surveys and solicitors you are showing you are serious. Even then there is no guarantee.

I am the seller in your scenario, except I had two offers, from two couples in the village. Both couples have properties to sell and both offered within a hair width of each other (over the guide price) and I have chosen which couple to go with.

I chose the ones I went with and will stick with them unless they don’t manage to complete before a given date. If they can’t complete I will revisit it and if someone said they were disappointed not to get it, but to let them know if thing change, I would be very likely to consider this. If they tried gazumping, I would not deal with them.

There were offers slightly better by people outside the village, but we had decided to prioritise locals, unless considerable financial difference.

This is just the viewpoint from a random seller’s pov.

It is a probate sale.

I think length of time into the process is a cop out. It’s either a shitty thing to do at any stage or it’s just part of the process.

You’re so big on empathy, so if you viewed the house at the same time as someone else, both put offers in but neither of you were in a position to proceed. Then you are in a position to proceed before the others, submit your offer and and your offer is actually accepted because you are in a position to proceed. Then the other people are in a position to proceed a week after your offer was accepted and they offer over what you did, are you going to think it’s a shitty move or nuanced? Is it the fact that it is only a week in going to soften the blow that you’ve lost your dream house because you’ve been gazumped? If they are more involved because they wrote a letter and live in the village, is that going to feel less shitty? Of course not. Are you saying you wouldn’t be on MN writing a post about the shitty people who gazumped you and how shit the house buying system is? If you wouldn’t want it done to you, don’t do it to someone else.

Something meaning a lot to you and it not working out, absolutely it’s ok to cry. But at this stage when you haven’t even got an offer on your house, you have emotionally invested too much to the point of doing mental gymnastics to show how it’s not a shitty thing to do because it’s nuanced.

To be honest, I think the best thing to do would be to accept that the dream didn't happen, take your property off the market and cancel the upcoming viewings.

Just putting myself in the vendor's position, I wouldn't be very likely to agree to a gazumping situation unless it was a really big "offer you can't refuse" kind of difference in the price offered. (I'm guessing that because you talk about having an offer accepted and maybe upping the offer slightly that we're not in the world of offering way over asking). Partly because it would just feel dishonourable, partly because I would instinctively trust a gazumper less than a regular buyer and partly because house buying is so fraught with danger I wouldn't want to add bad karma into my luck-bucket! A few grand here and there isn't worth it.

You're in danger now of getting into a tricky situation where you agree a sale on yours, then still can't get the "dream" so there becomes a whole chain of people who are getting heartbroken. It feels to me like a don't prolong the agony situation, you are extremely unlikely to end up with the house now.

@MovingToPlan Thank you for your hopeful story, I appreciate it... I'm so pleased you got your house in the end! After lots of discussion last night, and wise words from seasoned house-buying friends, we've made a plan we're very comfortable with and will "let the chips fall where they may" (I love Anthony Hopkins ☺️)

I'll also continue to get "emotionally invested" because, my goodness, I feel like that's what life is all about. Feeling all the things. Congrats to those who are able to see it purely as a business transaction... it must make the house buying process a lot easier... sadly I'm unable to be so robotic about it (however many personal medals it may earn me 😌).