How to establish boundaries/rules when taking in a lodger?

[FairTurtle]

Hi all. I'm thinking of taking in a lodger in my spare room and was looking for some advice. I'm an early 30s woman, and live alone in a 2-bed flat. The lodger would go in the spare room. Obviously if they lived here it would be their home too, so I don't want to like, impose loads of restrictions, but just wondered about other people's experiences?

Do you have any rules re house guests? What if they decide to have a party every weekend? Is it unfair to ask them not to do this?

Welcome any advice! Ideally I'd have a female lodger, maybe a student, but lifestyle stuff will come up with anyone, I imagine.

I can't think of anything worse than a stranger living in my house.

I'd never be able to relax again.

I've been thinking about it for when (if 🙄) my children leave home. I have thought overnight guests with prior arrangement once a week?
Maybe Monday - Thursday lets? It's a minefield.

It's not easy but my advice would be:

• be very clear about all ground rules before anyone commits to moving in. Don't change the goal posts later
• put it in writing
• consider being clear about what is ok as well as what is not (eg I said "you can use the kitchen at any time but please don't cook any strong smelling foods between 10pm and 7am. If you want to use the kitchen for something that will take a long time to cook (eg a casserole in the oven) just check first that that won't conflict with my plans")
• be explicit about shared spaces and spaces that are off limits (if any). I always said they were free to use the kitchen and dining room and garden but not the sitting room if I was home as I wanted somewhere that was private and I knew would be always free for me to use. Their room had a sofa so they had plenty of options.

I have always said guests are fine during the daytime without asking me but I should be asked about overnight guests with 24 hours notice. I also had a two guest max policy.

If I ever did it again I'd go for a weekday let. I am past wanting people in my house at the weekend!

I had lodgers in my 20s. Similar age to me. It worked well. We had housemate type rules - in particular if either of us was having guests over in the common areas, we were to invite the other one, so no one felt they were playing gooseberry or had to eat in their bedroom feeling awkward, plus a rule that it wasn’t a take-the-party-back-to-ours kind of house. Other than that we didn’t find many rules were needed.

I had lodgers for years.

My top tip: get a straight, young, good looking bloke in. As soon as he gets a girlfriend he will spend every waking moment at her place and use yours only to store his belongings😉No increase in bills except for a bit of extra hot water for showers and you'll have your place to yourself 90% of the time. I am NOT joking.