Moving house - How to introduce yourself to neighbours

[ClareCottage]

Grew up in a yuppie part of London where no one ever really talked to their neighbours much. Have bought a semi in the suburbs and wondering the best way to introduce ourselves. The previous family lived there for over 20 years. We complete next month (fingers crossed) but not planning to move in until Jan which might be helpful to tell them? Not planning major works but just some painting and decorating which maybe we should also reassure them about.

Would like to start off on the right foot but on the other hand we’re quite private people and wouldn’t want a situation where we’re opening the door to too much communication iyswim.

I know I’m overthinking it but anyway, advice appreciated. Initial thought was to put a card with maybe some biscuits (homemade?) into the property on the left and right introducing ourselves.

Knock on the day and say
' Hello we're your new neighbours'

Send them a Christmas card?

2yrs ago we moved from between zone 1-2, to nearly 2hrs out of London. No idea if that was a yuppie area though, but its always described as 'trendy' 😆.
I asked a similar question on here OP. The general consensus was the its the neighbours who are supposed to come and welcome YOU!

Despite that, we did go around to our immediate neighbours, knocked on the door and just said 'Hello, I'm JC and we have bought next door, blah blah.' It doesn't need to be an essay of a chat, unless the conversation flows.

Personally, I'd avoid giving home-made anything! Some people are funny about home-made unless very close family/friends, they might be GF, vegan who knows? We did have 2 neighbours come to us and knock on the door. 1 gave us a bottle of wine and a card. We thought it was lovely and welcoming- but we love wine!

If no one answers and you do end up leaving a card, I found it very helpful if they wrote their full name and their house number/name. Nothing worse than getting a random card from 'Ros/Jean/Bob' and having no clue who they are or where they live! Enjoy the new house.

When I moved in, there were people being arses about the removal vans (through road, traffic). Neighbour over the road shouted that he'd come after them with a chainsaw if they carried on. Next door neighbours yelled over the wall did I want tea or coffee, with or without sugar 😍

That was 6yrs ago and they are all such great friends. So, I didn't have to introduce myself!

Peeps moved in over the road and down a bit. I gave them a bunch of flowers and a card welcoming them to the street. It's honestly a bit like Coronation Street here!

Thanks for the suggestions. The thing about knocking is a) they might not be home and b) it might not be a convenient time for them. Also if we’re leaving a card then they’ll have a reference for our names - sometimes people tell me their names and I forget within about 60 seconds.

Wowsers, we've been here since lockdown one, and have never met the neighbours. cds with 20 🏘️ 🏘️ 🏘️ 🏘️ 🏘️ having moved from the City never realised it was something we should do.

Yep, you’re overthinking it and it’s both cute and lovely. Wishing you all the best for your move and your new home and neighbours. I don’t have any advice, but your post gave me the warm fuzzies for some reason. So, thank you and know that your neighbours are lucky to have someone so considerate joining them x

A tip from a friend - they drew a map of their bit of the road with the house numbers and added names when they met people - makes it easy to remember that it's Jo and Sam at number 3 and Jane at number 5, it's confusing if you meet lots of people in a short space of time.

When we moved we lived elsewhere for a couple of weeks to have some work done and so I took notes around to the nearest houses with my number on saying let me know if the builders are inconveniencing you - I knocked on most of the doors to say 'hi' and explain the situation, but also gave them the note. It meant that if they were busy I just apologised and kept it short and I found it easier as I had a 'purpose' i.e. to let them know about the building work (I'm a bit socially awkward with new people). Thankfully, everyone was lovely and no-one complained about the builders. I think a lot of people just want to know that a new neighbour seems like a considerate person, which you sound like you are.

We bought all our immediate neighbours a bottle of wine and some chocolates. Took them round and introduced ourselves. It’s been great we get on with all of them. We look after each others houses when away, that kind of thing. I’m glad we did it.

We have had two sets of neighbours move in recently we brought them both wine, chocolates and a card to say welcome. Me is very friendly the other isn’t. Would do it allxagain

Don't, it's a sign of weakness. Keep your distance and they won't take the piss long term. I've learned this the hard way

Agree with PP - keep it simple, Christmas card is perfect.

I just wait until I bump into them

We recently had new neighbours. They invited everybody round for drinks and nibbles on a Saturday afternoon.

Such interesting perspectives, thank you.

The sign of weakness thing is something that has sort of crossed my mind in the sense that being too pally can make it hard if there’s a contentious issue whereas keeping your distance from the off means you can be more dispassionate.

The truth is we’ve moved so many times over the past decade (partly because we lived abroad for a few years in a series of short term lets) and have had some real nightmares, I’m actually very nervous. I spend a lot of time at home and bad neighbours can be absolute hell. Which is why I’m overthinking it!

But I do think it’s helpful to at least have next door’s numbers in case of emergencies and vice versa. The ideal is a friendly-in-passing but not super close relationship I think.

Spend some time out front, gardening and such like. Even if it’s just a bit of cleaning/sweeping. We’ve found the whole street tends to “randomly” walk past when you’ve first moved in. People are nosey curious.

When we moved a few years ago one set of neighbours were extremely welcoming to the degree of not only telling us about every neighbour within half a mile but also their pets. I’m still not sure if Dave and Sally live at 55 with their 2 cats, Jasper and Mabel or jasper and Mabel live at 55 with their 2 cats Dave and Sally 🥺.

We just naturally met our other immediate neighbours and it’s been perfect; far from in each other’s pockets but all considerate and reasonable.

Absolutely agree with this too! Our property had been derelict 7+yrs, so people were fascinated to know if we knew the previous owner, was a relative etc. As soon as we told them we didn't know him, they'd open up at how much of a cranky, rude, chauvinistic, bastard he was! 😮

I agree OP, its great to be on nice terms with your neighbours, but I don't need an overly close friendship with them- unless it it works for us all.

I live in part of the country which is generally friendlier and I am very friendly myself. However, in any of my four moves now I have never gone and introduced myself to neighbours and never has one knocked on the door and done the same.

That has always waited untill we were outside at the front at the same time them it was very cordial. I'd be wary of very friendly neighbours until you've worked out the dynamics of the road. Like in the workplace, in the neighbourhood there is always someone who is hard work and there can be undercurrents you really don't to get involved in.

There have been all sorts of upsets and issues on my road (generally to do with planning, etc) that have completely passed me by. When I come across them, I get on with all the neighbours and, bizarrely, the 'hard work' neighbour really likes me.

We moved in in late November (20 years ago!) and invited our neighbours for Christmas drinks a few weeks later.

It's general etiquette for existing neighbours to welcome newcomers! That's what I was always told and experiencing growing up.

When we moved into our home, not one neighbour in our road welcomed us.

Tables turned, we recently had two new neighbours within a week. I knocked on both doors with welcome cards, neither were in so posted the cards respectively. Neighbour 1. called at ours when she was in to thank us and we had a chat, we still have little chats/small talk when passing in/out of the house but nothing really more than that. But they are 30+ years older and nothing much in common.

Neighbour 2. Didn't, still don't know their names or anything about them two years later! Except they seem to have had a baby recently. Can't be bothered chasing them up/making effort. It works both ways I guess.

In a similar position, I wrote cards for all of the immediate neighbours saying when we were hoping to complete, when we'd actually move in (and block the road) and when we were expecting deliveries (which would also block the road) plus gave my mobile.
When we did properly move in a few weeks later, most of the neighbours came around with a card and chocolates or wine and then one of them had a drinks party to welcome us a week or so later which the entire street was as invited to.
Keep any cards! I managed to muddle up some of the couples and it took me years to work it out! Also, two of the husbands and one of the sons have the same fairly unusual name and, again, it took me ages to be confident that I wasn't just confused.

Once you've completed, drop a note into their letterboxes saying who you are and telling them you'll be having decorators in before you move in early in the next year.

Include a phone number where they can reach you if the painters are a problem - parking, noise, working at unsociable hours, fast food wrappers flung out of vehicles, etc.