Toddler and newborn in small two bed flat

RoseWood22722 · 2024-10-26T10:24:47+00:00

Hello! Hoping for some wisdom/reassurance/advice from this wonderful community. My husband and I have been trying to sell our two bed flat for six months, almost to the day since we found out we’re pregnant with number 2. We’ve had an offer accepted on our dream house, but had two offers fall through on our flat so no closer to actually moving. The baby is due end of January, and I have to say I have felt disconnected from this pregnancy for most of the last six months because the stress of trying to move is so overwhelming. My mental health is really suffering and my husband thinks we should take the flat off the market and wait to sell again next spring. I can see the benefits, but I am really scared of how trapped I am going to feel in this flat that we have been trying to move out of when then have two children (let alone trying to sort out viewings etc!). Sorry this is such a life story ramble lol, but I basically would love to hear from anyone who has been happy and made it work in a two bed flat with two small children. We have two bedrooms (one is quite small), a separate kitchen-diner and living room and a garden. We’re in a great location, near friends, shops and my mum. I know it’s possible and the main thing is we are all together and baby is healthy, but I’m slightly losing my mind at the idea of being here with no storage, no way to add more space and knowing eventually we are going to have to try and move again. If anyone has got to the end of this babble and has any advice (or indeed stern words to tell me to pull myself together) I’d love to hear them. Thank you.

sel2223 · 26/10/2024 13:32

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP, our DD1 is 4 and we're due our second in March.
We are currently trying to move from overseas back to the UK and finding it incredibly stressful so you have my full sympathies. It's looking increasingly likely that we'll have to go into a small rented place or even stay with family until baby is here, which I'm dreading as a family of 4 (plus a dog)

TheRoseTurtle · 26/10/2024 16:26

Your other half is talking sense, and next spring is only a few months away. Use the time to relax and enjoy the baby! At the beginning of March price competitively rather than aspirationally, and you'll sell. In the meantime, yes, there'll be 4 of you there, but honestly do newborns take up much space? And a toddler won't care less if his or her bedroom is tiny. You have a garden, so unless it's tipping down that can be a playspace. It's going to be at least a couple of years until the two little ones have really outgrown their bedroom so you've got plenty of time to sell your flat and move. As for viewings, specify 3 different 2-3 hours slots on different days (one morning, one afternoon, one evening) and then tell the EA that you can't take viewings at other times.

upat4am · 26/10/2024 16:44

If there are any new build developments near you, look into if they do part exchange.

We were stuck not being able to sell our house which was all of a sudden too small in similar circumstances. We did a part exchange with Taylor Wimpey, they gave us 90% of the market value.

Getting less than we wanted did feel like a kick in the teeth, but the process was very smooth, fairly quick, and we are now in a lovely new house.

Might be worth looking at if you are struggling to sell!

beetlebrain · 26/10/2024 16:51

We did. It was fine, honestly. Bedroom, boxroom, horrible bathroom, hall, tiny kitchen, living/dining room. We were on the ground floor with access to a garden, and in a great location, which made all the difference. Glad we were eventually able to sell when I got pregnant with #3 though.

Devilsmommy · 26/10/2024 16:52

I get why you're worried but just for perspective, me, DH and my DS when he was newborn loved in a very small hotel room for 4 months. Temporary accommodation. Then we had the move to our flat now. It was a shit 4 months but when you're finally at the end it's worth it

SeLHopeful2024 · 26/10/2024 17:29

Not exactly the same situation, but I just wanted to share that I was stressing about being in a 1 bed flat with 2 adults and a 3.5yr old. Mum I was talking to then told me she was still in her 1 bed with a 3.5yr old and a baby.

Not ideal I know, but you will make it work and you will sell eventually. Perhaps this is the universe saying it will be better to move once baby is here.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 26/10/2024 17:31

My BIL and SIL live in a small two bed flat with a 4 year old, an almost 3 year old and a 6 month old baby (all planned). Your baby can stay in with you for quite a while and then share a room, you don't have an immediate need to move.

Twoshoesnewshoes · 26/10/2024 17:35

Sounds fine! Keep the baby in with you, get a big shed for the garden and store stuff in there, maximize underbed storage and top of wardrobes etc.
get some big baskets so a decorative screen for the lounge so you can easily chuck toys out of sight in the evening.
those water play tables are great for winter in the garden IME, fill with warm water and a squirt of handsoap and toddler can have some outside play whilst baby naps and you have a coffee in the garden.

Original poster

RoseWood22722 · 27/10/2024 16:37

sel2223 · 26/10/2024 13:32

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP, our DD1 is 4 and we're due our second in March.
We are currently trying to move from overseas back to the UK and finding it incredibly stressful so you have my full sympathies. It's looking increasingly likely that we'll have to go into a small rented place or even stay with family until baby is here, which I'm dreading as a family of 4 (plus a dog)

Trying to move with a baby on the way is just so stressful isn’t it! Really hope you find a solution that works for all of you. And congrats to you too!

OP posts:

Original poster

RoseWood22722 · 27/10/2024 16:38

TheRoseTurtle · 26/10/2024 16:26

Your other half is talking sense, and next spring is only a few months away. Use the time to relax and enjoy the baby! At the beginning of March price competitively rather than aspirationally, and you'll sell. In the meantime, yes, there'll be 4 of you there, but honestly do newborns take up much space? And a toddler won't care less if his or her bedroom is tiny. You have a garden, so unless it's tipping down that can be a playspace. It's going to be at least a couple of years until the two little ones have really outgrown their bedroom so you've got plenty of time to sell your flat and move. As for viewings, specify 3 different 2-3 hours slots on different days (one morning, one afternoon, one evening) and then tell the EA that you can't take viewings at other times.

This is so helpful to hear and very good advice! Such a good idea on the viewing slots too 🙏

OP posts:

Original poster

RoseWood22722 · 27/10/2024 16:40

upat4am · 26/10/2024 16:44

If there are any new build developments near you, look into if they do part exchange.

We were stuck not being able to sell our house which was all of a sudden too small in similar circumstances. We did a part exchange with Taylor Wimpey, they gave us 90% of the market value.

Getting less than we wanted did feel like a kick in the teeth, but the process was very smooth, fairly quick, and we are now in a lovely new house.

Might be worth looking at if you are struggling to sell!

Our broker actually suggested the same thing! We might well look into it, thank you. And so glad it worked out well for you!

OP posts:

Original poster

RoseWood22722 · 27/10/2024 16:41

beetlebrain · 26/10/2024 16:51

We did. It was fine, honestly. Bedroom, boxroom, horrible bathroom, hall, tiny kitchen, living/dining room. We were on the ground floor with access to a garden, and in a great location, which made all the difference. Glad we were eventually able to sell when I got pregnant with #3 though.

Thank you, so reassuring to know it’s doable 🙏 glad you managed to move eventually. And yes, location is actually so important especially in those early days isn’t it!

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Original poster

RoseWood22722 · 27/10/2024 16:41

Devilsmommy · 26/10/2024 16:52

I get why you're worried but just for perspective, me, DH and my DS when he was newborn loved in a very small hotel room for 4 months. Temporary accommodation. Then we had the move to our flat now. It was a shit 4 months but when you're finally at the end it's worth it

Thank you, this perspective is much appreciated. Sorry that you had a rough time of it for those months but glad you’re through to the other side!

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MightSoundCrassButItsFactual · 27/10/2024 16:42

I know many people with 2 kids in 2 bed flats in London

Comedycook · 27/10/2024 16:43

This really isn't such a bad situation. We had a newborn and a toddler in a smallish two bed house...baby was in with us for first few months and then they shared for three years quite happily. We moved to a bigger place when the youngest was 3. It was fine.

Original poster

RoseWood22722 · 27/10/2024 16:44

SeLHopeful2024 · 26/10/2024 17:29

Not exactly the same situation, but I just wanted to share that I was stressing about being in a 1 bed flat with 2 adults and a 3.5yr old. Mum I was talking to then told me she was still in her 1 bed with a 3.5yr old and a baby.

Not ideal I know, but you will make it work and you will sell eventually. Perhaps this is the universe saying it will be better to move once baby is here.

Thank you for sharing this - I also like to think the universe has something to do with it and if we don’t move now it’s because we were never supposed to!

OP posts:

Original poster

RoseWood22722 · 27/10/2024 16:45

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 26/10/2024 17:31

My BIL and SIL live in a small two bed flat with a 4 year old, an almost 3 year old and a 6 month old baby (all planned). Your baby can stay in with you for quite a while and then share a room, you don't have an immediate need to move.

Thank you! And yes indeed, baby is basically just going to live on me for the first few months anyway 😂

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MotherOfRatios · 27/10/2024 16:45

flats aren't doing well due to all the leasehold issues.

How is your ground rent/Service charges?

Are you priced competitively?

Original poster

RoseWood22722 · 27/10/2024 16:46

Twoshoesnewshoes · 26/10/2024 17:35

Sounds fine! Keep the baby in with you, get a big shed for the garden and store stuff in there, maximize underbed storage and top of wardrobes etc.
get some big baskets so a decorative screen for the lounge so you can easily chuck toys out of sight in the evening.
those water play tables are great for winter in the garden IME, fill with warm water and a squirt of handsoap and toddler can have some outside play whilst baby naps and you have a coffee in the garden.

Love this idea with the water table, had never thought of this! Thank you 🙏

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PrincessAnne4Eva · 27/10/2024 17:02

Given that you're already in the flat and already have all your possessions fitted somewhere, I don't think this is a massive issue. We were stuck in a dismally small 2 bed flat (living room and kitchen were one room and the second bedroom didn't fit a bed and a cot in it at the same time) until DS was 5 and DD was almost 3. We just moved (finally) a few weeks ago. I'm not trying to rub it in, what I'm saying is until DC2 is out of a cot, as long as you've got somewhere in any room to put the cot, the second child doesn't take up much more space than the first one.

You've got plenty of time to get moved.

Also, it's really good with a flat (compared to a house) to be able to let DC1 wake up and go in the living room and play quietly while you stay in bed with DC2 feeding them, I was able to keep the doors open and see what DC1 was up to while feeding DC2 or putting her down for a nap.