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Original poster

Just bought a house - now debilitating doubt. Help!

27 replies

PinkPomelo · 19/10/2024 07:49

We just bought a house and I screamed with joy when the woman (finally) accepted our offer. It's a roomy 3 bed terraced with a big garden. We always said we needed 4 beds but we've compromised and will build a pod in the garden right away. We have a baby and it's so safe and lovely for her, primary school is amazing and the train and beach are a 10 min walk. There's new shops opening, new bar etc as there's lots of newbuilds and just seems like a really exciting thing to be part of.

Childcare is very limited and we've got dd in to a nursery in a town 10 mins drive away. But driving through it yesterday I've now suddenly felt silly for not considering buying there. I could get a 4 bed detached for the same money. It's not as well connected, it's more in land, a bigger town and everything that comes with that but I know a few people that live there and they love it. I just feel silly for not even looking in to it. We put our house on the market yesterday! Is it too late to check it out? Is it just moving nerves or maybe even just the thought that dd will be going to nursery in a different place although it's really not far from the house it'd be a normal distance in a city.

Major point is we both work in the city so the train was very convenient for that. But I don't know if we've undone the convenience of that since we have to drive dd to a nursery anyway.

OP posts:

BunnyWilliams · 19/10/2024 07:55

If you've only just put your house on the market, do you need to sell in order to move to this new house?

Littletreefrog · 19/10/2024 08:00

I'm not clear have you bought the house or just had your offer accepted?

Pleasehelpmedress · 19/10/2024 08:01

I had massive buyers remorse in our house when we first moved in.

The (mild) inconvenience of nursery will only last a few years then you will hugely enjoy having everything else on your doorstep.

I live rurally and our closest nursery is 40 minutes one way (and only one childminder in closest town!) which is a massive pain, but we just tell ourselves in a few years she'll get the school bits with her wee pals from the village and that side of things will be much easier.

Heronwatcher · 19/10/2024 08:05

I don’t know your own position but I think you need to work out your own priorities. What I will say is that the market usually regulates itself, so if your area is more expensive at the moment it’s because it is “better.” It certainly sounds like it- being closer to the train and the beach are definitely things people will pay for.

Whether it’s better for you is something you need to work out but if you’re having doubts I would agree that doing a bit more research/ looking at other places is a good idea. But having to do the nursery run doesn’t seem like the biggest reason to totally change area- it’s a very short period in your life and once your DC is at school you won’t need to do it any more (I assume school itself is closer?).

ItsNeverAMannequin · 19/10/2024 08:14

Can you clarify your timeline? You just bought a house, or just had an offer accepted?

llamalines · 19/10/2024 08:14

Nursery is only for a few years, you need to think long term.

Where you've bought sounds amazing. Schools are so important. If there's a great primary school near you that's brilliant, she you may find you and DD make some friends locally by then.

I live by the sea and it's lovely in summer. We have a group of friends with DC who go to the beach together. When I didn't live by the sea, going to the beach seemed a huge palaver, you had to prepare and pack for a day out.

Here, we just put our costumes on under our clothes after school on a whim, message our friends to say "anyone fancy joining us", grab a couple of snacks on the way out the house and go. Then after our swim / splash about in the gorgeous sea, we hang about a bit for a grown up gossip while the DC play then pop back home when we're done. It's a little and often thing, not a huge mission and I love it.

The way you describe the area otherwise sounds great.

Having said all that, it wouldn't hurt to consider the town, but don't make your decision based on nursery. Think of the long term.

rainingsnoring · 19/10/2024 08:17

Have you actually bought the house or just made an offer? If the latter, are you buying without selling your place? If the latter, of course you can look at other houses and should consider all options carefully before you actually buy.

BoundaryLine · 19/10/2024 08:24

Just keep looking, You've only just got your own house on the market so presumably have a few weeks to spare before exchange of contracts. Not ideal but I think looking around might help you see you like the place you've already chosen.

TokyoSushi · 19/10/2024 08:36

Having just had an offer accepted is very different to having just bought a house - which is it?

If it's offer accepted, pull out quickly if you want to before things get moving. If you've just completed, well be happy with what you have, comparison of the thief of joy.

JoMaloneCandles · 19/10/2024 08:57

Making an offer and buying a house are two different things. You can always take your offer off the table, happens all the time.

My mum backed out of a purchase even after her mortgage papers went though because it didn't feel right for her then she waited until the right house came along.

You won't be the first one to reconsider and it's not wrong to do so either. Explore all your options before you decide to make a commitment to a house.

Original poster

PinkPomelo · 19/10/2024 09:44

So I've offered on another house subject to sale of mine. Mine just went up. I cannot do another winter in here and we're so ready to start our new adventure out there. We've also no space here and it's getting tough. It was me said let's just go for this house even though it's one less bedroom, it does have 3 bathrooms the bedrooms are all good sized doubles, separate living room to kitchen, utility, garden is huge, I reckon it's enough for a few years anyway and came with all the lifestyle we wanted. A lot of our friends have moved away and we are keen to be part of a good community and hoping to make new friends and now I'm just wobbling what if we don't make new friends or use the train all that much and we've paid so much for a house smaller than we ideally wanted.

OP posts:

Original poster

PinkPomelo · 19/10/2024 09:48

@llamalines this is just what I want to hear and what I totally imagine. I would always have said location and move to the place u want to live but I am so nervous now! Honestly didn't see this coming I was so set on it all. For some reason the nursery has thrown me. Maybe just speaking to people in that other town and seeing it was actually quite nice and can get a lot for your money. But for day trips you'd always require a car to the station, then you can't have a drink when you're out etc

OP posts:

Startingagainandagain · 19/10/2024 10:01

If you have just offered, you could have a look at the other houses the caught your eye and then make your final decision.

Twiglets1 · 19/10/2024 13:03

Why don't you view the other house and then discuss both houses with your partner? It's very early days if you haven't even sold your house yet and if you're having second thoughts, better to pull out sooner rather than later if on reflection the other house is more suitable.

You do have to think longer term that convenience for nursery however, it's not forever and it's only a 10 minute drive so I don't think that's significant.

gurgleenglish · 19/10/2024 13:06

just explore your options.

TizerorFizz · 19/10/2024 13:12

You might find your vendors pull out if yours doesn’t sell. They might be desperate and hang on for you but if I was selling, you wouldn’t be the type of buyer I wanted if you had not even put your house on the market. You are really just a speculative buyer and not “proceedable” as they say! So you could look elsewhere if you want to. Depends how much the station and sea matter.

pinkroses79 · 19/10/2024 13:16

You can easily pull out. However, the nursery is only ten minutes away anyway so isn't much of a factor. Neither is the train station really - my local train station is further away than that despite me thinking it is quite close! You like the school near the house you made an offer for. You like the location, which is the most important thing in my opinion. You just have to decide which location feels right for you, long term. Do you like the town as much as the other location? I would go there and spend a day getting to know it and see what vibe it has as a resident. I could get a bigger house in my city if I moved locations, but that doesn't mean I'd want to.

rainingsnoring · 19/10/2024 13:19

If your house has only just gone on the market, your offer hasn't really been accepted at all as it's dependent on you selling, probably at a certain price, which may or may not happen. The seller is likely still marketing the house and make get an offer from someone proceedable anyway. Given all this, you can definitely have a look at other properties and consider all your options.

mynameiscalypso · 19/10/2024 13:20

You're not proceedable at the moment and you're not committed to anything. You'll have to have a very patient vendor if you've only just got on the market too. You can pull out if you want, you're not in a very strong position.

Feelingstrange2 · 19/10/2024 13:24

Have they taken their house off the market waiting for you? I wouldn't have expected them to as you arent actually proceedable at the moment. You don't know if you will sell or at what price as you've not yet had any offers.

If they haven't taken it off the market, and your offer is just noted by the agent, then carry on looking!

If they have taken it off the market, you have a moral dilemma....is it fair to be "messing" them around? Perhaps look at just one in this new area and if you start to decide that's for you withdraw your offer immediately so they can go back to the market again.

Littletreefrog · 19/10/2024 14:44

If you buying the new house is dependent on you selling yours first you are more than likely spending another winter in your current house anyway OP.

hellothere82 · 16/12/2024 06:28

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

NotVeryFunny · 16/12/2024 06:49

Why was the other thread pulled?

hellothere82 · 16/12/2024 06:55

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sillysausageandbanger · 16/12/2024 10:27

We backed out AFTER we signed for a house. Both of us had instant regret but got carried away with the rush of trying to buy. I had to phone the solicitor to tell her to rip it up and not exchange to the sellers solicitor. Thankfully she hadn't already sent it. Do what's right for you ! It's a costly mistake to get wrong. The seller was annoyed but it sold two days later with another family. We are in our dream home close to family and I could almost be sick when I think of the other house. X

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