Last minute wobble

[Povertytrapped]

I’m downsizing after divorce and recently found a house that ticks all the important boxes - I can afford it, in an area I like with good access to school, it’s in lovely condition, it’s got a nice little garden, the kids love it… it was definitely “the one”. My current place went under offer yesterday…and suddenly I’ve gone a bit “meh” about it.

Just a last minute wobble do you think, it’s been a tough few years and this is the “new start” we all need…or should I keep looking? My budget is painfully tight and the chances of getting anything better are very low…possibly it’s “just” the wrench of moving from what was supposed to be our forever house with its huge garden…

Help please!

Yes - just a last minute wobble. Moving from the known into the unknown. Remember, this move doesn’t have to be your forever home, its just the next step forward.
Good luck

It’ll be a wrench for a while. I moved when kids in secondary (also divorced, big 5 bed ‘forever’ home) to a ‘bijou’ house that was just to last until they left uni. Now they’ve left the nest I realise I’m actually quite comfortable here, and there’s something about a house that’s just yours, paid for, decorated (or not) all decisions are yours and there’s no residual ‘what ifs’ associated with it. I may move in the future but it’s absolutely my choice.

Go ahead with it but keep looking. If something else comes up before you sign, you can change your mind

Definitely just a wobble. New place sounds great. If you’re really worried could you go and have another look at it and take yourself a show around video?

No house ever ticks all the boxes especially if you are downsizing and even more so if the downsizing is a necessity of a split. There is nothing in your post that sounds like a real deal breaker, it’s not at the end of a runway or a bedroom short so it sounds like it is just understandable nerves and a wobble.
It feels like such a big decision but as others say this could just be the first step if it really doesn’t work out. It’s a fresh start and a chance to move your life forward and focus on the things that make you happy. I’m sure you will fill it with all the ‘you’ that makes it feel like home soon enough.

If you haven't offered you can certainly have a second viewing. I agree it's probably a wobble about the situation, you're still grieving your old home and what you imagined your future to look like so totally understandable. But agree with PP where ever you go next, in the end it will all be yours. Xx

I'll have to say when my Mum split with my Dad and we moved into a smaller fixer upper it felt like a weight had been taken off both our shoulders. Mum really came into her own with nobody to answer to or ask permission.

Having said all that, also trust your gut and don't settle if it's just not right. You could always rent for 6 months and bang the equity from your sale into a high interest savings account? Good luck OP! Xx

What aspect of the house is it that you feel “meh” about @Povertytrapped ?

Natural to wobble. Don’t worry. All change is hard!

@Twiglets1 because our current home is rural detached and this new one isn’t…I’m not being snobby I just worked so so hard to get what we had, and having to give it up is hard…and sad.

And I think it’s the pain of divorce (due to abuse) finally coming through….thank you everyone, I am grateful for your thoughts and help .

I understand. My friend downsized from my a detached house to a flat after her divorce. It was really hard for her to come to terms with for a few months. But she absolutely loves her flat new. It has benefits the old house didn’t ( town centre compared to living in the suburbs).

It will be all yours. That’s the thing my friend most treasures about her new home.

My newly divorced and downsized friend loves the feeling of the new house being just hers, no-one can ever take it away from her.
It doesnt seem to me that you have an issue with it per say, it suits you and your family well and as you say another property may not exist or be affordable.
So, move, take time to resettle yourselves and become yourself again, or a new you (whatever!), you can move a few years down the line if you want. Right now you all need some peace.

I would tackle this by going to view the new house again to make sure it's right for you now. I'm a big believer in trusting your gut. It might not be what you really want because you are used to a bigger house but you need to know how it makes you feel. My favourite house was a 2 bed terraced and it made me feel happy from the first viewing.

Also check out others to see what's available. And accept that you might mourn the home you have now as moving is so stressful.

I'm sure that your next home will make you so happy!

I did similar last year. It's great now I'm here although as buying process took so long I started relooking as I wasn't sure. Nowhere is perfect but now if something goes wrong with roof its a fifth of the size and less than half the windows. The market has picked up now so less likely to be something else in your price range.

You could pull out completely and see if you could get more money for your house in the spring but that would be a bit risky, the world being as uncertain as it is at the moment.

I can understand that giving up a detached house, possibly with nice views, is a wrench. I'd concentrate on getting the garden right, screening out other houses with planting etc so it becomes a private little oasis that's all yours.

It sounds like it will suit you for location and budget.

Thanks everyone...I got over my nerves only to have the vendor change her mind about selling...FGS...

I'm now considering our second-best option, a doer-upper that needs a fair bit of work (most places in my budget do) but should be amazing once it's sorted...I'm just not sure whether I've got the energy for it and should wait until something else "done" presents itself!

Ooh option 2 sounds fun! And worth a try if you can get it for a decent price surely, especially if it’s going to be amazing eventually. As long as it’s habitable (heating, dry, hot water, functioning kitchen) I’d give it a shot.

If it's mostly just redecorating, or replacing bathrooms, it could be nice to have a new project as a distraction. Or is it building work that could drag on?

ok, all change again...the vendor of the doer-upper wanted too much money, but then somewhere much nicer came back on the market unexpectedly, so I'm buying that! Fate is a funny thing...and all this chopping and changing has helped to underline that you were all correct, my concerns are mostly not about the house, it's about the huge change and dealing with the hurt of finding myself in this situation. I am nothing like as strong as I used to be, and it's hard to realise that.

Once the dust of moving has settled I think we will be fine, the new house is nearly the same size as we have now, it is a lot nearer to stuff and that will be good for me and the DC, not so hidden away in the countryside, however beautiful that is. And I will have offloaded a ton of debt that I have barely even acknowledged because it was too scary to think about.

Just need to take it all one day at a time...we will get there.

Good luck with it OP.