Affordable places to live in the South/Midlands?

[Lala1962]

My DP, DD and I currently rent in Surrey. Way too expensive for us to continue living here long term now we’ve had DD. We rent a 1-bed cottage below market rent but it’s too small for us now and ideally we would like to buy property. DP is from Surrey and terrified of moving anywhere other than Surrey but it’s just the way it is unfortunately. I am a bit of a nomad but would move to Cumbria if I could as my family live there and property is much more affordable. Ultimately though I’d just like a nice 3-bed house with a garden and parking in a safe area for us to live in with our little family, hopefully expanding by 1 sometime in the future.

A mortgage advisor has told us our budget is around £220,000 (thanks childcare costs!) Any suggestions as to where in the South/Midlands that we could afford for what we are looking for? DP is also a gardener so needs to be somewhere he could get work!

Thanks all.

https://www.primelocation.com/for-sale/details/68423481/?search_identifier=c472869dce2d3c9f24537230f8f73cdb

Redditch might work?

There are places in the midlands but not the kind of places anything vaguely lucrative on the gardening front is likely. How will you be able to get approved for a mortgage if he needs to change jobs?

Why not Cumbria? It's lovely up there. Or Lancashire.

Are you trying to live 'in the middle' or do you need access to London? Would you like a family support network?
If you are thinking that being 'in the middle' is a compromise for both families just be aware that neither will be able to help as it's still at least a couple of hours travel.
Do you know anyone in the Midlands?
Just have a think about what you want from this move.

Strangely our mortgage adviser told us that banks will just take his last 2 tax return profits, they’re not bothered if he’s relocating. They’d be more concerned about my job which has a fixed location, although I can actually work from any office in the country so wouldn’t be an issue.

We would only apply for a mortgage taking into account him earning the average wage for that area though. And he’d initially start working for a company rather than himself.

I would move to Cumbria in a heartbeat but DP is scared about being too far from his family and friends - they are all based in Surrey. The compromise would be Midlands just as it’s a bit cheaper than SE but in middle so easier for both of us to visit ‘home’. DD is in childcare full time here and would be anywhere so don’t need that kind of support. Midlands is an unknown to both of us though.

My view is that we take the opportunity to live in Cumbria as it’s more affordable, there is work for DP and we know people (albeit my parents) so we’re not completely alone until we make friends. However DP has said it’s too far from his friends and family.

How often do you see your families at the moment?
How often do you want to see them on-going?
I think an 'in the middle' option between Cumbria and Surrey is madness, particularly if you don't know anyone in that area.

If you want to see family regularly, realistically you need to be within 40 minutes of each other.

I see it's ok for you to be over 4 hours away from your family but not ok for your DP.

Funnily enough I live 4 hours away from my family but that is a conscious decision as my DH's career is around London so we need to be commutable. It sounds like you could pretty much live anywhere.
Surrey is nice but it is bloody expensive compared to what you could get in Cumbria, and just think of your quality of life.

Also if you want to be 'half way', I would probably go north of Birmingham, where property would be cheaper. Some beautiful spots around Stoke on Trent, Derby, Buxton, Bakewell etc

West rather than North might be worth a consideration too

I second Redditch.

Bromsgrove
Redditich
Leamington Spa
Droitwich

One of my best friends lives in Bromsgrove, it's lovely.

There are bits of Herefordshire that are quite cheap, if you don't want to go too deep into Midlands territory.

His family rarely and only when his mum organises something. We used to see his mum maybe once a month at most but now we have DD once a week, again this is organised by her telling DP rather than him ever arranging it. I see my family about 6 times a year, arranged by us both and alternating between us going to them and them coming to us. I’m more focussed on me, DP and DD as a family than how close we are to our families geographically as I know if you really care you make it work (as I do). It’s not so much going in the middle so that we’re between our families, hence asking for both midlands and south reccs, but just happens that midlands is in the middle of our families. Most important thing for me is that we live somewhere affordable for us and I know that that’s nowhere near Surrey, certainly not within an hour (nowhere nice/safe anyway).

Quality of life for me, DP and DD is most important to me. Just seemingly not for DP who is putting his geographical closeness to his friends and family over that. Hoping that if I can suggest somewhere a bit closer (but still would be too far to see regularly with young children as you’ve highlighted!) will make him more amenable to the idea.

@Lala1962 I think you and your DP need to get on the same page re property aspirations

Agreed - would just like to be able to go into any discussion with options to propose so it’s a worthwhile conversation.

I think I'd jsut send him some Rightmove links showing what you can get for your money in Cumbria vs Surrey. Suspect it's a bit of a reality check!

@Lala1962 Northamptonshire? Have a look at Kettering

I really don’t understand the rationale of moving somewhere neither of you have family friends or a support network. Surely it makes sense to live either near his family or yours - and as his location is too expensive (and you’ve clearly already had years living near his), it makes sense to move near yours, at least for a few years.

Just because he doesn’t want to, doesn’t mean you have to compromise on an unknown location. You clearly sacrificed by living near his, why won’t he do the same for you?

Wouldnt it be best for your daughter to be near family she can see regularly? Eg Cumbria?

They’re not going to find what they want in Leamington with their budget!

It’s tricky op. You could perhaps go further south. The nice parts of the midlands are not cheap. I agree that moving near your family sounds the best plan, probably lots of retirees up there too wanting a gardener. Although you might end up with your partner being resentful.