Have you relocated with your family just because you wanted to?

[Thatsajokeright]

Exactly that.

I've posted a couple of times on this board about relocating and I'm trying to process various parts of the whole idea.

I have lived in the same area my whole life and I have a difficult relationship with my mum who lives 15 minutes away. I had a difficult upbringing and awful time at school so I don't have many friends here. As an adult I've been quite unwell so that hampered any friend making efforts! I have maybe 2 people I would miss from here.

My husband is from Yorkshire and moved down south to be with me.

I am sorting of stuck on the idea that if we don't go now, while the children are young enough (6&8) that I'm going to be stuck here forever.

But I'm the one driving the move; it would be amazing to be so far away from my mum, tbh. We'd be closer to family that would actually be involved. We have a couple of friends up there already.

Husband is on board and keen to move back but also happy if we stay.

But if it all goes wrong somehow I'm just going to feel terrible because it was my idea.

I am fully stuck in indecision and just trying to wriggle out somehow!

You say about what if it goes wrong, but flip that on its head and what if its the best thing you ever do?

I have relocated, just because I wanted to. 19 years ago my DH and I had a caravan in Wales that we would go to on holidays and weekends with our DC's. We started to feel like we preferred to be there and felt miserable coming home. Our DC's were 5 and 1 at the time and we talked about leaving our jobs and our lives and moving permanently to live in Wales. One day we were talking about it and my DH just said 'why are we just talking about this, why don't we just do it?' We felt the same. If we don't do it now while the children are still young enough to adjust then we will get stuck where we are for ages. I think it was that fear that prompted us to just go for it.

So we did!! We put the house on the market, found a new house, started a B&B business and made our move to Wales!! 19 years later and we are still here and we absolutely love it and not once have we regretted our move. I am just so proud of us that we had the guts to just go for it. For us, we decided that we would give it a year and if we didn't like it we would just sell up and move back. But honestly, we never looked back.

If you don't try these things you will always wonder 'what if?' For all you know you could absolutely love it and wonder why the hell you waited so long.

Move, rent your house, if it goes tits up move back. You’re allowed to try stuff out and change your mind later

We were nearly the same as the poster above. In lreland went to the same place for holidays every year. Had a holiday cottage there. Very rural but we absolutely loved it. Sold up and moved. Our jobs were both widely available but we had money to tide us over after selling our home. I think it's important to say we had no issues in our former home, lots of friends , supportive family about 30 mins away, good neighbours but my dh always hankered after living by the sea
All went well but when our dc came to Secondary school age we had little options so we moved back but have never been sorry we did it. Our dc had a lovely childhood in the remote area and it's still one of their favourite spots.
Do it. You have nothing to lose and lots to gain.
A word of warning. Don't rely on Dhs family for friendship when you arrive. Start your own life and see them as a bonus. They have their own circle and may resent you if you become too dependent. Start to look now on how you are going to get involved in the local community so you are prepared in your mind. Also say your moving as you love Yorkshire rather than focus on negative things where you are now. Look forward not backwards and be positive as that attracts new friends and improves your whole life.

Why not? If you are not happy where you are there then do it!

Yes, we moved six hours away, when our eldest was in start of year 6, because it did feel ‘now or never’.
we moved because it’s beautiful here, and has access to things we love - hills, good walking, kayaking etc.
i also lived about an hour away from where I grew up. Difficult time at school, I wanted a fresh start, but I don’t think I’d identified that til we moved.
my mum was/is very supportive with my children so I was sad to leave her and still feel guilty. We have a good relationship though.
I’m glad to be further away from other family though. It really reinforced my gang of five as a little unit, and it was so exciting to discover our little corner of the world.
ive just been sitting here with a cup of tea looking at the mist rise in the valley. It’s so lovely, I never regret moving.
apologies for the essay!

We’re about to do this kind of relocation so I’m enjoying reading these positive stories! In our case work was a driver but we didn’t HAVE to do it in the sense we both could have done other things if we really really felt we had to stay in this area but we’ve decided to take the plunge.

I’ve pretty much always lived here and my parents (who I get on well with) are close by, plus I have good friends and a great primary school. But I have increasing thought, is this it? Is this all I’m going to know? as the years have gone on and whilst it can feel overwhelming it is also feeling very invigorating and exciting to move to a really different area. I like stability up to a point but our life here is very safe and I can just see it ebbing away it the same vein if we stay. As others have said, you’re never stuck anywhere for ever, if it doesn’t work out we will move again, but I don’t want to never know what it might have been like

We just did this earlier in the year. We were in West Yorkshire and moved nearly 100 miles away to a small East Coast village. It was our dream to live in a bungalow with good size garden to grow our own veg, get a rescue dog, be able to walk to the beach. All of which we have done and we love it. I was fortunate my boss agreed for me to WFH full time. My DP found a new job here. It's a bit scary when you do it but so worth it. Bite the bullet and do it.

Seems a no brainer to me OP. Kids are perfect age, it'll be cheaper, closer to people you want to be near. Go for it. We did it, more so for work reasons but quality of life also, absolutely zero regrets.

Thanks everyone. On paper it seems like such an obvious thing!

I've been really heartened to hear so many positive stories though!

We moved to Yorkshire a few months ago and I absolutely love it. The dc are still getting there (older than yours) but overall our quality of life has massively improved. Really, really glad we did it.

That's so great to hear. What has changed for you?

Better schools, cleaner air, larger garden, more exercise, we can keep hens! Our cats are very happy in the big garden too - the hens scare them. 😄 My dc have a choice of sport not available where we used to live. We live near a Moor and can go for walks from our front door, but also buses to town are easy for teens. Local community groups and a strong sense of local pride. We've moved from a city to more a country-ish life and it's suited us perfectly.

We moved to the NW.

Better schools, cleaner air, fields in between places, larger home, smaller mortgage, sea is close by.

I've found it the most difficult but I go back and visit my friends regularly.

If I’m honest, I’m trying to work out why I’m you’re still there!

Much better local transport aka buses, trains not so great sadly as both Northern and Pennine Express are shockingly bad.

Same! 😂... Fear, I think, mostly!

It sounds like it’s just the fear of change that’s holding you back. You don’t have strong ties to where you are now and moving closer to family is a bonus. If you’d listed out more ‘cons’ (eg fewer job opportunities, lower standard of living) I’d see why you were being cautious but fear of making a mistake just keeps you stuck. Work through it rationally - if you’d feel more comfortable to rent out your house and rent up north for a year so you could come back if you wanted to or if you want to sell up and go all in!

Yes, we’ve always moved around internationally a lot, but since we had DS (now 12), we’ve moved twice, the most recent one an international move when he was 7. I wouldn’t say it was entirely psychologically straightforward for any of us (we moved just before the first lockdown), and he’s still nostalgic for his old life at times, but definitely a good move over all.