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Neighbours pressurising friend

74 replies

Treaclewell · 05/09/2024 08:46

His mother had capacity to the end and refused to have anything done on her house, which is all he has inherited, with some money, which will be absorbed by works. It's taken him some time with grieving, and the probate procedure, and she left it intestate. At last he has been thinking about things seriously, and just at this moment, calamity.
Across the road is a man with a family and a nasty landlord, who has upped the rent by three times. So he says. He has consulted EAs, investigated the house on the corner, also affected by probate, and is desperate. He has demanded that my friend, outright owner of his place, vacate it by Christmas, because there's pressure at his end. Judging by Homes under the Hammer, it couldn't be made liveable by June, and that's if desperate man over the road has trades in his family. Which I doubt.
My friend as now back in the state he had been in, but blaming his mother for some aspects of the situation, as well as expecting costs of all his money, and he wouldn't have much of a pension left after dealing with things. The neighbour next door is complaining about a tree over his garden and my friend thinks that's going to cost £20000 - which I and a friend who deals with property assure him it won't.
My friend now thinks they're acting together to drive him out from what has been his home for most of his life. His parents wanted him to be support for his mother when his father left with the demand to do that and "You can't always get what you want." as he went off for what he wanted.
I'm being as much of support as I can, but it's draining. Over the road man is fearing being homeless with his family, but is prepared to make my friend homeless instead. Greedy landlord has some other plan in mind, HMO perhaps, there is at least one in the road.
No matter how much we say that he can't be expelled from ownership as if he's a tenant. He is panicking.
Advice is needed. Shelter for Mr over the road. A skip.

OP posts:
Geneticsbunny · 05/09/2024 08:50

I don't understand, has your friend sold the house to the neighbour?

Sheelanogig · 05/09/2024 08:55

Did your friend sell to the neighbour?
If the neighnour is being aggressive and causing your friend MH distress - could they decline the offer, have it on the market again for less hassle purchasers or auction it if not living there?

Rumshotsandrainshowers · 05/09/2024 08:56

Is there something missing here as it makes no sense.

pilates · 05/09/2024 08:57

I cannot understand your post at all

Treaclewell · 05/09/2024 08:58

No, he hasn't sold it to anyone. So why they think they can order him out is beyond belief. The only place I know where that sort of thing is apparently OK is the West Bank. And Mr across the road hasn't got a tank. Judging from Zoopla he hasn't enough money to buy locally, so was hoping to get it cheaply. And judging from Homes under the Hammer, he wouldn't have enough to restore it.

OP posts:
Mikunia · 05/09/2024 08:59

Right. So your friend has a house and one of his neighbours wants to buy it and do it up?

Your friend just tells him no. Job done. Why all the angst?

Treaclewell · 05/09/2024 09:06

It was the "I want you out by Christmas" pushed my friend over the brink. He says he would have discussed it, but that, and "There's pressure at my end" changed the feeling. And he goes over to work at it, and now he won't feel comfortable doing so.

OP posts:
andfinallyhereweare · 05/09/2024 09:07

Your friend doesn’t have to sell to anyone no matter the pressure.

does your friend have support for his grief/anxiety?

Treaclewell · 05/09/2024 09:13

Me.
Plus friend in property charity, and therefore pretty busy. But helpful.
Plus local to here, not there, rector.
Old friends have their own troubles.

OP posts:
CrumpetsandJammmm · 05/09/2024 09:15

I’m not sure I understand. This neighbour has absolutely nothing to do with the house other than living on the same road, yet he’s pressuring your friend to sell? Why is your friend even talking to this neighbour?

Toddlerteaplease · 05/09/2024 09:17

But there is nothing to discuss. It's his house that he owns outright. No one has the right to make him move out. He sounds very vulnerable.

NeedBiggerWindChimes · 05/09/2024 09:23

If someone told me they wanted me out by Christmas you bet I wouldn't budge until at least the new year.

How is the tree an issue? He can decline to do anything about it if it's on his property surely?

I don't really understand the post.

CocoapuffPuff · 05/09/2024 09:24

Your post is really hard to understand, but several points.
1 - nobody can force him to hand over property that belongs to him. That's theft. Involve the police.
2 - nobody can force him to sell property that belongs to him.
3 - neighbours can force repairs if their home is being damaged by the poor condition of his.
4 - he sounds overwhelmed and vulnerable. I'd advise a visit to citizens advice, to get some legal advice and support to allow him to tell all these vultures to back right off. A legal letter may be required, plus police involvement re harassment if the guy across the road continues to try to cuckoo him. Cos that's what this is. Not in the drug dealing sense, but he's trying to force someone out so he can get in.
5 - Where did that 20k for tree work come from? Who quoted for that? A door knocker, unsolicited, or the neighbour? It's a nonsense.

Butterflyfern · 05/09/2024 09:26

I mean this in the kindest way possible OP, but are you the best person to try to help your friend? I don't mean you can't support him emotionally, but are you sure you're best placed to offer practical advice?

Your OP is very confused and muddled itself, I don't understand why the neighbours have anything to do with your friend's house, the house on the corner, nor how homes under the hammer and June is relevant. Why are you trying to find shelter for the man across the road?

Treaclewell · 05/09/2024 09:28

Yup. Vulnerable. And I've seen why, from interactions with mother in front of me.
The conversation with Mr over the road was a first with him, and it rapidly descended into the pressure. He will not be speaking to him again and has referred him to property friend for any future communications. He didn't expect to be standing in the middle of the road and being coerced like that.
It's very unfair - he will go in to bat for others in trouble, campaign for things effectively, but for himself, it's different.

OP posts:
allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 05/09/2024 09:30

@Treaclewell OP I think you need to rewrite this post. it is really difficult to understand. the man who owns the house is your friend so he is A/ the man across the road is somehow demanding the house is B/ how does B think a should vacate his own house???? is b pressuring a to just give him the house or to rent the house to him??? does A currently live in the dilapidated house??

CocoapuffPuff · 05/09/2024 09:33

"This house is not for sale".

"I'm sorry you're in that situation but it has nothing to do with me. This house is not available".

"No"

Repeated "no" ad nauseum.

Request support from police, council, anyone appropriate re the harassment and attempted theft of his legal ownership of the house.

Get him to fit broadband and security cameras NOW. I suspect he'll have squatters if he doesn't actually live there.

Alternatively, if he doesn't want to live there, he gets it on the market ASAP. A developer will grab it. They love untouched houses.

TheCultureHusks · 05/09/2024 09:38

God I HATE these posts where OP describes a completely ludicrous situation and then goes on to ‘discuss’ the detail of it as if it’s even vaguely reasonable.

If this is as you say, and your friend is being harassed by a nutjob neighbour and told to ‘get out’ of a house he owns, then he needs to go to the police and ask them to give the neighbour a warning not to approach him.

That is all. No details matter, there ARE no details, the only fact is that the neighbour is a nutter and he needs to ask for help to stop him harassing.

Obviously this isn’t a good place to think of living, so I imagine he will want to sell the house. Might be worth looking into the difference in what he would get if he just put it on the market now. Sometimes ‘doer-uppers’ bring in more money than what you’d get back if you did the work yourself!

ClockwiseHoneysuckle · 05/09/2024 09:42

Has your friend got insurance? It might cover some of the works needed in the house and/or dealing with the tree. Can you and property friend organise estimates for the tree?

Rumshotsandrainshowers · 05/09/2024 09:43

TheCultureHusks · 05/09/2024 09:38

God I HATE these posts where OP describes a completely ludicrous situation and then goes on to ‘discuss’ the detail of it as if it’s even vaguely reasonable.

If this is as you say, and your friend is being harassed by a nutjob neighbour and told to ‘get out’ of a house he owns, then he needs to go to the police and ask them to give the neighbour a warning not to approach him.

That is all. No details matter, there ARE no details, the only fact is that the neighbour is a nutter and he needs to ask for help to stop him harassing.

Obviously this isn’t a good place to think of living, so I imagine he will want to sell the house. Might be worth looking into the difference in what he would get if he just put it on the market now. Sometimes ‘doer-uppers’ bring in more money than what you’d get back if you did the work yourself!

Well said.

EmeraldIsla · 05/09/2024 09:46

I've read this three times and am none the wiser. Perhaps start again and set the situation out clearly, without attempts at jokes about the West Bank and tanks?

Treaclewell · 05/09/2024 09:46

No, I'm not the person for practical advice.
Why B thinks he has a right to A's house is beyond me. A is now thinking they'll cobble up something - and A makes sure that there isn't anything of harm to neighbours, controlling ivy and Russian vine for instance.
I've told him to log every contact as possible harassment.
Referring to Homes under the Hammer was for a comparison with time needed for work and cost of same. Being out by Christmas is, by that comparison, utterly unrealistic, both in time frame and cost. (I sometimes trip over this programme while searching for other stuff, and am generally horrified by it.)

OP posts:
Seeline · 05/09/2024 09:50

But he doesn't need to consider a time frame?
If he owns the property and doesn't want to sell, I can't see what the issue is. Some mad neighbours thinks telling him to move out by Christmas is going to result in a new home?
Does your friend have capacity? I just can't see how anyone would take this situation seriously - they'd just laugh in the neighbour's face surely?

Winederlust · 05/09/2024 09:55

So let me get this straight:
• your friend's mother died, leaving him her (owned outright?) house which is in a dilapidated state, and a bit of money, which will all be swallowed by fixing the house.
• your friend has been grieving and not really in a position to deal with the house until recently.
• a - totally unrelated - neighbour and his family rent a house on the street but have a bad landlord who has unreasonably increased the rent.
• this neighbour wants to move (or has been asked to move out) and has decided he'd quite like your friend's house.
• neighbour has therefore issued some kind of ultimatum to your friend that he needs to sell him the house and get out by Christmas?

If that's all correct then the simple response is 'get stuffed'.
If your friend is incapable of that and it's sent him into a tailspin of anxiety then I'd suggest he needs more help (medical) than you or your other 'property friend' can provide.

Winederlust · 05/09/2024 09:59

Referring to Homes under the Hammer was for a comparison with time needed for work and cost of same. Being out by Christmas is, by that comparison, utterly unrealistic, both in time frame and cost. (I sometimes trip over this programme while searching for other stuff, and am generally horrified by it.)

But this is utterly irrelevant because your friend is under no obligation to 'be out' of his own property at all?!
I really hope you're not giving this kind of advice to your friend or no wonder he's in a panic!