Any words of wisdom for an anxious first time buyer?

[Enjoylittlethings]

5 weeks in. I know how fortunate I am to be able to buy my own house, but my anxiety is just through the roof at the moment. I can't seem to relax and it's all I think about. I keep worrying that something is going to happen that will delay things or cause the purchase to fall through. Seller hasn't been the quickest so far either and I've read some horror stories on here.
I don't think it helps that it takes so long to buy a house either as it feels like there's more of a chance of something happening.

I keep having silly thoughts like I'm going to lose my job or that the mortgage offer will be withdrawn etc. I'm not sure if it's my job that's causing the stress as I've just come out the other end of a redundancy threat (so actually won't be losing my job so not sure why I'm worried about that) but I have a new manager and team. There's just been so much change and I feel like I'm having to settle in again. Not sure if this is what's causing the anxiety/stress but it's certainly not helping either.

I'm sure everything will be fine but I can't stop worrying that it's all going to fall apart. I've been trying to get on the property ladder for the last 3 years so maybe that's why I'm worrying so much. My mum said to me earlier that I don't seem excited or happy. I don't feel excited even though I love the house/area. I remember reading a comment on here a while ago that said "don't get excited until you have the keys in your hand". Makes sense but also feels a bit sad that I can't get excited about buying my first home in case it all goes pear shaped.

I probably sound like a drama queen. Are any of these feelings normal? I am quite an anxious person anyway but usually quite good at calming myself down.

We sold our property 3 weeks ago, our buyer have nothing to sell so no chain, they said to us that we can wait, we are not rushing, we said great. It has been 3 weeks since we sold and we viewed 15 houses in this period, we made 3 offers, didn’t go ahead and now we are still looking. But at the moment there is no houses that we would like to go for viewing. Our buyer done the survey and solicitor for our house, memorandum is ready. They are now waiting for us to find a house. I don’t know wait is the waiting time limit but the thing is that noone putting pressure on our buyer to move out as they are not selling their property, they will rent out their own house and move to our house. So we are in good position but we are on the go, not stop looking for the houses. Hope this help

I think being a ftb is an anxious thing. I remember it well even though it was several decades ago.

It’s a big change and commitment and the mind can throw lots of what ifs up that stir up the emotions. But you’re doing the right thing. Buying any property is stressful and anxiety inducing. Ride through it all and you’ll come out the other side.

You will learn and grow with the experience and look back and think I’m so glad I did this and now own my own property. Yes there will be hurdles along the way, yes you may not have much furniture and have to learn some painting skills, the place may be a doer upper over time etc. But it will take time and patience and will all work out for the best. Good luck.

What you are feeling is completely normal.

It is a nerve racking process at the best of time let alone for a FTB. It seems a huge amount of money and the things that could go wrong are many. Just take one day at a time & answer all questions asked by your Lender/Solicitor etc.

Once you exchange contracts you can relax, although it may feel like a bit of an anti climax after all the build up to it.

Everyone feels the same as a FTB and I think it is entirely natural.
Several decades ago now but I can tell you I had exactly the same thoughts.

I remember the first year being very tight financially and I was grateful for some gifted furniture (sofa & chairs, dining table, kitchen table, curtains etc) to get me started. I had a PT job as well as my FT one but within a year I got a promotion and a decent pay rise which meant I was much more comfortable.

I felt the same as you OP when I bought my house at the start of the year. I was so worried about anything and everything that could go wrong, with me, my job, the house. It's been 6 months and only now has the anxiety settled, although I'm still on high alert if it seems like something needs fixing!
Try and work out what you expect your bills to be, prepare yourself to live frugally/get a 2nd job if money is tight, think about what work the house needs doing that you know of and work out how you will achieve this (buy DIY books, or save for 6 months to afford carpet etc)
Once I got my mortgage documents I looked at how to rent/sell the house if I needed to, and found that I'd have to live there 6 months first, and renting it would add a premium payment to my mortgage. That put it in perspective that I had to stay and make it work for a while.
My house needs a lot of work which I can't yet afford but hope to in time. I love it now and remember why I chose this one, but I had months of wanting to raze it to the ground to start with!
Good luck, and don't worry if you don't feel the way everyone says you should.

Buying property in this country is a scam but at least you are in good company.

I have felt like this with most houses that I have bought and sold but our most recent house sale we sold not just a house but a business. We sold our Guest House so we knew it was going to be difficult. Over the time we had it on the market we sold it and the sale fell through 4 times! 3 of them over finance and 1 the buyer pulled out because their 16 year old daughter had objected to the move and stated she was not moving! Each time we had offered on a house that we liked, that we then ultimately had to pull out of the sale of ourselves. It was devastating but we had to learn to take things in our stride a bit more and have an attitude of 'if it happens it happens, if it doesn't then it wasn't meant to be'. If we didn't we would have gone crazy. We just had to trust that eventually one of these sales would go through and one of them did!

I know it sounds easy but try to relax about it and take each day as it comes and stay in regular contact with your EA and Solicitor. You have your mortgage offer so there is no reason to think that anything will go wrong there. And if something doesn't go to plan with the sale there will be other houses that you will love just as much.

It is a painful, long stressful process and when its done you will never want to do it again!! But, just like having a baby, or drinking again after you have been drunk, you will one day find yourself being mad enough to go through the whole damned process again!! 😝😜