Is it possible that we are overthinking our first home purchase?

[DYIDIY]

FTBs in outer London with DC, in our 40s. Taken a decade to save deposit.
We have seen about 20 properties and made 3 offers that weren’t accepted in the end.
We have seen a couple of places this week that tick almost all the (modest) boxes for our budget but we can’t make up our mind. Either it’s a busy road but lovely property or a nice road but property too small or no garden etc.
Is it possible we are overthinking this? Do we absolutely have to adore the place we buy?
Budget is 500K ish so not that high for this area.
We are a family so want to get it right but I also wonder if we are being too fussy perhaps?

my sympathies as pickings are very slim at the minute.

Honestly in your 40s you prob aren’t going to be climbing the ladder so you going to have to live there for a while.

on that basis…unless it’s the north circular 😅 I’d take the busy road but lovely property…

You will be far more discerning in your 40s than previous decades.

Are you aware the FTB stamp duty exemption goes back to 300k from its current level of 425k from 31st March 25?

I was raised in a house on a main road which never bothered me as a child/teen. When DH and I bought our first house we moved to a small estate. As our family grew we bought a 1930's semi (a bit more than a doer upper!) on a busy road with a garden big enough for the children to play in. 25 years on we live in the same house, the busy road is busier but we have triple glazing which has helped with the traffic noise and the back garden is reasonably quiet despite the road. On the other hand the small estate has expanded a little but it is like a public car park. I would go for the lovely property on the busy road rather than a too small property with no garden.

And no you dont have to adore it.

I was at best tepid... at worst slightly hostile towards our house when we bought 😅 for well over a year... but i knew logically it ticked a lot of our must have boxes
Location, proximity to transport, quiet road, garden, off road parking, rooms were nice and square with okay footage, not a fixer upper, good schools.

Counting against it...
No loft, no garage, semi with north facing garden, all the houses on opposite side of road were approx 200 sq ft bigger AND had south facing gardens and amazing skyline views and were the same price (sadly none for sale) and its biggest crime... dreaded pebbledash!
I really was not making this face 😍 when the sale went through it was more 😐
X years on and i am really happy here because it was a practical choice in budget thatmeets our needs as a family.

No you don’t have to adore the house you buy. That isn’t realistic for those of us with limited budgets in expensive areas. When the house is yours and you have your things in it, and you have security and ownership, then you will love it. But you don’t have to fall in love with someone else’s home to decide it is the right purchase for you.

You don't have to love but you have to not hate it.

Stick to your essentials, be clear on your boundaries and where you'd be prepared to compromise. Buildings can change but location can't.

Thanks all. Yes I am aware of the stamp duty issue which is why I’d like to buy something asap.
Main road is busy but not an A road. Windows are double glazed but couldn’t hear any noise, only thing is that we might not be able to keep them open much. It’s just the frontroom though, the rest of the place (ground floor maisonette) has windows in the side and back garden.
I have never lived or slept on the ground floor either, makes me feel a bit uneasy as in my mind it feels less safe, probably need to get over that.
The place inside is lovely? Ticks lots of boxes. I think I’d love it if it was in a quiet road but would prob be out of budget if so. I do still really like it.

We had exactly this choice - either the house with great bones on a busy road in zone three, or a smaller house on a quiet road in zone four/five. We went with the former and have loved living here. We’re moving after 10 years because we’ve decided to leave London but it will be with heavy hearts. And I actually cried every day for the first five days we lived here!
By far the best thing we did was fit plantation shutters at the front of the house - makes a significant difference to how much traffic you notice and helps with sound insulation.

Yes you are overthinking it.

Nothing with a house move has to be permanent- I have bought and sold a lot, some were good moves and others weren’t.

Just buy the best available now and get on with it. You can always move if you hate it. It isn’t a life sentence.

I'd prefer a decent garden and a busy road wouldn't bother me if there's a drive and front garden

You do need to buy what you're happy yo live in

Ignore roads etc

Do you like the inside of the house ie the bones room sizes and size of the garden

Would you be happy yo stay there if you're never able to move for whatever reason

Gut feeling?

Always works for me!

Most people have to compromise on something when buying a house as restricted by budget , requirements of family set up, location needs and availability of houses at the time, how much work you can or are willing to do etc
Hopefully after seeing a few you'll have an idea about what's realistic for you and what your non negotiable are.

So boxes it ticks are; decent size, lovely features, doesn’t need much work, has a garden, pretty building and close enough to where we want to be (a 25 min wak to the station instead of 5-10 but also more in budget because of that). Can walk to 2 nearby villages very quickly.

Downside is: on a main road (could we open the living room windows?) which is less pretty that a cute smaller road. Bedrooms on ground floor (maisonette).

@DYIDIY we have just bought in an expensive area and we compromised being on a busy road to have a garden. Most houses with gardens in our area are big semis close to 1 mil but we paid around 600k for a terrace with a garden. We are getting plantation shutters fitted on the front so we can have some privacy without blocking all light. The road noise is only noticeable around peak traffic times when we are rarely home. Maybe try visiting around different times to see whether the same would be true in your case? Overall, I am happy with our decision, our garden is fabulous and thanks to the big thick Victorian walls, any road noise is almost always blocked!

I'd wait a couple more weeks as there may be a surge of properties coming onto the market in September.
As for whether you have to love your property, no. It is always about compromise. The question is whether it works for you. I hate our house. But I love our home and have so many happy memories. The space works, it's walking distance to the primary, easy bus ride to the secondary, plenty of activities in the village and town, good access to the motorway and absolutely lovely neighbours.
I always feel bad that our garden could be bigger and that my children don't have giant rooms. They are surprised when I mention this as they think both are plenty big enough.
A couple of our neighbours have come into significant amounts of money in recent years. One lot moved to a much bigger property and regret it. The other could probably buy the entire street but just choose to extend and renovate their existing place as they said that they looked at lots of other places but all of them had a downside that they decided to stay.

Where are you looking OP and do you need to stay there?

We're in SW London and here you could get Quiet road, garden 5-10 mins walk to station

I think when you look at 20 houses and none of them really suit then I think it’s probably you will find it’s your budget that isn’t quite enough. Can you just try looking on rightmove at a slightly higher budget and if there are houses that suit you more then you have your answer. However I am no expert and it seems there are not many houses on the market. Good luck with your search. There are always compromises especially looking for a family house.

@LindaDawn budget is definitely an issue but we did find a couple of places we offered on, unfortunately we were outbid as there were many other buyers interested

Our house isn't 'perfect', I don't think any house is unless maybe you have a very high budget, or buying in an unpopular area. You have to prioritise what you want and stick with that - if it's small, could you extend in the future? Remember you can't change the location but often can make changes to the property. I'd say August is the worst time to house hunt, give it a few weeks and I expect much more will come on the market.

My DD (early forties ftb) has been house hunting in zone 2 for over a year and in that time the things she will compromise on have changed. She has offered and missed out on a few but finally been agreed on one.

She was originally outbid but then 1st offer fell through and they came back to her.

There are always compromises to be made I think the trick is listing the pros and cons and if there are enough pros to offset the cons you have your answer.

Good luck it is very difficult to make such a big decision.

I used to live on a busy main road that was also an ambulance route.

After a while you get used to the noise & you just don't hear it anymore.
I'd take a busy road over no outside space any time.

You said you really like it- that's enough! When you're in, your own home, that you've made yours, you'll love it.

Re house buying, you need to work out your non-negotiables vs your nice-to-haves. And have as few non-negotiables as possible. If you find one that ticks all the non-negotiables, within budget, snap it up!

Ours were: walking distance to a good primary school, quiet road, enough space. Everything else was nice-to-have (character, decor, layout, kerb appeal etc). Since moving in we have extended, changed the layout, re-decorated and injected some character and kerb-appeal. They are all things you can change. You can't change the location or the boundary.