Amazing house but overwhelmed by a move

[mikado1]

We are set to buy a house in a much sought after area, mature gardens, great light, aspect and potential (would need to spend 50k on updating). This means an increase from 100k to 200k mortgage but will mean an increase in equity of around 150k, if relevant. The house will cut our commutes to 5mins/15mins and DC will be able to walk to and from school in ten mins. Current house is two miles away but traffic awful and constant.

Sounds like a no-brainer and a super opportunity but... I feel overwhelmed, over the move itself, the declutter needed here, uprooting DC who like this house (tho we have no real ties with friends/neighbours here) and the work that would be needed in the new house. If I could just be in there I would be delighted but the thought of it all is nearly making me stay. Current house more modern but also needs updating to a similar cost or a little less but is certainly not perfect.

Can anyone help me with advice or experience on this feeling?

Totally understand but sometimes you just need to find the will. It sounds like a great opportunity.

I get this feeling before every holiday, and always seriously consider just not going. I know it’s not the same situation, but my answer is to make lists and start imagining yourself in the new situation rather than concentrating on the old

I used to love moving house when I was younger, lots of "decluttering and decorating for a fresh start" . It gave me the push to do the jobs I didn't rapt have the impetus to do if I was staying in that house. But as I've got older I loathe moving, did it for hopefully the last time earlier this year and it was SO overwhelming. What helped me was to break it down into stages and steps. A clear plan of action and a realistic time scale. Price things wherever you can even if it means tightening your belt etc.

It sounds like you know is the right move. Is just the hugeness of it.

I’m guessing you’ve been pregnant and given birth so are 100% familiar with the concept of short term pain for long term gain. This isn’t much different. Yes moving is hard work, but once you’re there it’s all over and you won’t have to do it again.

FWIW, I’ve found it’s easier to pay packers and move absolutely everything, then declutter as you unpack on the basis of “do I want to keep this” as you pull items out of the packing boxes, rather than to declutter before you move.

I’m in the process of relocating right now and I am completely overwhelmed! I just keep reminding myself that it’s big stress now for better quality of life in a few months. I’m also trying to break things down into chunks and just focus on the next bit rather than the whole thing - I use this tactic for my kids too although “let’s just focus on cleaning our teeth and we can worry about actually going to school later” is on a different scale to “let’s just focus on getting the survey done and we can worry about uprooting our lives and moving across the country later”!

Agree with @olderbutwiser to declutter as you unpack, as it somehow seems easier once you're in your new home to ask yourself 'do I really want this'. In your current home everything probably has a place so less easy to get rid of.

On the actual moving house, it does sound like a no brainer. Imagine what your ideal situation would be if you could wave a magic wand, if it's being in the new house then make it happen. Write lists for everything - whether that's jobs to do to sell your house, phone calls to make, etc etc and tick off as you go. This breaks tasks into manageable chunks.

Thank you all so much, I started doubting the whole thing and wondering was it my gut saying don't do it! I also get the idea of the anxiety before a holiday too!

I will need to declutter to get the house sale ready here you see and tbh I've been poor with keeling on top of things-tough few years - so it will be good for my head.

We moved at the beginning of 2022, it was a massive downsize so decluttering after moving wasn't an option we wouldn't have the space available. We did a lot of upgrading:- new kitchen, bathroom, fitted wardrobes and new flooring. For two of jobs we had to move out for a few days. Just do it in stages and it's all worth it in the end. Our home is now how we want it and we can sit back and enjoy.

If you can afford it, pay someone to come in and give a thorough clean. It will make it much easier.

Good idea. Will need to sort and ditch first but definitely worth doing.

Thanks also to pp who did similar renovations. I'd like to just get in there but probably best to do the upgrades beforehand if we can, similar jobs need to be done. Curtains and carpets can be done overtime? Plan to pull up the downstairs carpets and sand the floorboards.

If you can find a declutter/organiser person to come in for a day you’ll be amazed at just how much you can get done - it’s worth the cost. The lady I’ve used can get done in a day what would take me weeks, and she takes all the stuff away to charity shops (or the tip).

It sounds like the new house could be great. But it always takes me longer than I expect to get a house sale ready. It's worth doing right to maximise the price though. Spending money on skips, storage space and tradesmen to finish off jobs can really speed it up rather than trying to do everything yourself.

You're buying from someone who can give you the time to sell?

Yes we have time as sellers not 100% ready to move.

Husband now tells me what's putting him off is the bigger mortgage going out each month... I felt it would be worth it tho for the instant jump in quality of life and location.

I heard mention on another thread I think, about a move day support service, I'll rack my brains. I remember it was a woman who offered the service, she was an extra pair of hands, extra brain, she made sure all the kids had a made bed by the end of the first day in the new home so mum didn't have to worry, made coffees, ordered a takeaway and put it out on disposable plates. Absolutely genius service to offer. Other posters might remember it. Like having a brilliant sister on move day. Would that help?

I felt the same before we had a new kitchen extension. I think it’s usual to a bit overwhelmed!

This is identical to our situation before we moved last year. We were leaving a house we’d made perfect for us over the years and were very happy in so the prospect of somewhere needing a lot of work was daunting, and I was making the primary school commute longer for us (this was calculated though as we were moving into catchment for our chosen secondary which our older child will attend in September).

We haven’t looked back. The garden is tiring but fabulous and all the extra space has made a huge difference to our quality of life. Over the last 12 months we’ve done some structural work (new gutters, flashing, repairs, put in a downstairs toilet) and we’re budgeting for more over the next few years. We’ve had to tighten our belts considerably but it feels purposeful as we’ll never move again now and have our dream home in our dream area - long term gratification!

The move wasn’t particularly stressful either; it’s over and done with soon enough and you can take your time unpacking. My tip would be to be as organised as you can and declutter A LOT. I still walk around this house 12 months later and can’t believe it’s mine!

Totally feel you OP. We're just in the process of getting valuations with the aim of going to market very soon but currently have a 3 month old and 4 year old. It feels utterly overwhelming but we're hoping to move closer to school/or change schools before the end of reception and are in desperate need of more space and an extra bedroom. We're in SE London so the figures are eye watering though low by London standards, think we're also looking at an extra £100k of mortgage.

But I'm very much holding the mantra "if not now then when?". Feels like maternity leave is a good time as one of us has less work stress to deal with and really don't want to settle the baby into a nursery to then upheave him again if we move later. Hoping that if we move within 6 months then at least one child is less mobile and know we will 100% pay for packing service.

The thing that is stressing me out is deciding how much effort/money to put into sorting out the little odd jobs that we haven't kept up with (a fitted shelf that has come down, cracked ceiling plaster on bathroom ceiling although we have invested heavily in structural work to the roof). First EA was of the opinion not to bother and frankly that made my heart leap as everything is hard work with a baby, but I'm nervous it might put people off completely. I'd rather take a hit on the price and just get out and sorted in the new place but going to get a few more opinions from local EAs who know the market.

Hi OP, I relocated last year and felt so overwhelmed too. But it really sounds like your new house will be worth it. As a previous poster said- "I still walk around this house 12 months later and can’t believe it’s mine!"

Unlike the previous posters, I don't agree with moving with all your stuff and then decluttering. Start now! Moving was so expensive that I didn't want to pay to move shit I didn't need or want. I watched a whole series of Stacey Solomon's 'Sort your life out' on bbc iplayer then made a list, along these lines:

Living room:
-tv unit drawers
-book shelves
-toys

Kitchen:
-upper cupboards
-lower cupboards
-under the sink/cleaning stuff
-food cupboards

etc etc. And I made a plan to do one of those a day. Sometimes I'd find I was on a roll and ended up doing more than one item on the list! My biggest bit of advice is to hire a Hippo Bag or even a skip- the bags are cheaper but the skips are bigger- and fill them to their absolute max capacity.

And definitely of course pay for packers. You deserve it after all the stress and decluttering. And not having to live in a sea of boxes for weeks feels so good- you just live your life as normal, then the night before pay yourself a suitcase for day 1 and 2 in your new house, and let them do the rest!

Good luck. You've got this.
Declutter the hell out of your house, and you'll feel great.

@Ohnononono1 make a list and get a handyman in for all of those little things like fixing a shelf, ceiling etc. You'll feel better for it.

Our house was just slightly broken everywhere you look. It felt like they didn't care, so we offered under the asking price and got it.

How much do you pay out of interest, and don't things get stolen? I have had so many things stolen during moves.

Decluttering
my best advice is…just start.

tonight watch a few episodes of sort your life out.
tomorrow pick a cupboard and start set a timer and just go for it.
I did this before we moved and just said “does this fit with my new life?” Yes/no
no went in bin charity or sold

momentum is a key blocker.

in terms of moving self packing is a false economy the 2k cost of movers is 💯 worth it
the stress they removed was INSANE and they unpack at the other end 🤯

Oh will definitely be paying for movers.

My bedroom/clothes all sorted yesterday. Under the stairs done today ✔️
4 bags for charity, 1 bin bag and a green wheelie bin's worth. Delighted. Tomorrow will go for books and playroom the following day. Great sense of satisfaction and also a sense of relief!

Well done you! It does feel good when you get going doesn't it.

@mikado1 how's it going?

Get a decluttering person in. They will help you go through your stuff and decide to keep, sell or donate. They might even do the latter two. Yes it's a cost but it really helps if you are feeling like you are drowning. If they sell your stuff (they normally take half after fees) then it may cost less than you think.
Also pay for packers - but they will pack EVERYTHING, including rubbish!