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Original poster

Head or heart

31 replies

Whattodo121 · 02/08/2024 19:15

So. We live in an expensive part of the south east, in a very boring and outdated 1970s box. It is detached and has a garage and a reasonable garden. We paid £512k for it 3 years ago. Whilst we were looking four years ago there was a house which was my absolute dream, detached, stunning garden thatched in a gorgeous village with quite an unusual layout which would be not to everyone’s taste but would suit us perfectly.

This house has come back on the market. And is cheaper than before.

our house has been valued at £650k

our house probably needs about 50k spending on it to make it look how I’d like it to.

the dream house is on at £725k.

it would involve probably borrowing another 100k on the mortgage

current house is walking distance to DS secondary school and the station for DH to get to work. Dream house is a couple of miles away so would have to cycle/get the bus, but still near friends for DS and he’s nearly 13 so would be driving by the time he’s 17.

since we moved we earn probably about 25k a year more between us and that is likely to increase.

The head decision is to stay here. The heart decision is saying ‘IMAGINE CHRISTMAS IN THE THATCHED COTTAGE’

Are we mad to consider it??

OP posts:
NatureofSociety · 02/08/2024 19:18

Go and have another look. You may feel different about it then.

Merrow · 02/08/2024 19:21

I've been put off thatched roofs, even for a holiday, since I heard they were associated with rodent problems. The walking distance to school for the teen I think sounds like a big draw of your current house.

Original poster
Whattodo121 · 02/08/2024 19:24

Rodent problems don’t sound fun. And you’re absolutely right, the walking distance thing is huge.

OP posts:
sugarbyebye · 02/08/2024 20:43

would be good to know why they're selling so quickly? I wouldn't have thought a thatched cottage is a short term buy, under normal circumstances. Also, why is it cheaper than before? I'd want to find out what I can before getting too invested.

LindaDawn · 02/08/2024 23:05

i would value being able to walk to the station more.

CatsForLife · 03/08/2024 07:13

I think you need to look again and see how you feel. Are they selling because there are lots of jobs that need doing? The thatch needs replacing, for example. Can totally understand though - I’m very heart driven too. Get round there and see if you get the same buzz and uncover why they are moving etc.

Gamergirl86 · 03/08/2024 07:16

You only live once. Live in the pretty cottage

Butterflyfern · 03/08/2024 07:16

Can I ask why you didn't buy the cottage last time? Was it just price? Did you view it?

I think you definitely should go and see it if you can. You might find that artistically cosy on photos actually translates to dark rooms with low ceilings in reality!

fruitbrewhaha · 03/08/2024 07:29

I’ve owned a thatched cottage as a holiday home. It’s very cute but I did find it impractical for a permanent home. Just old and the stair were tight and the floors not level etc.

No rodent problem thought but the roof is expensive to maintain. Ours was a little roof and you need to redo the ridge every couple of years and the whole roof every 25 or so. I think we paid £1000 for the ridge, which was about 7m across. So a detached four bed I’m guessing g would be £30/40 to do the lot. I’m guessing though to do find out.

How old are you? Have you savings? How’s your pension pot? All these are more relevant I think. I’m turning 50 and I want to have my mortgage paid off asap.

MovingToPlan · 03/08/2024 07:40

View it without wearing any rose tinted spectacles, and go from there. We recently bought a house with a new roof, and the relief knowing it's going to keep the house dry for many years to come is pretty immense tbh. So finding out the condition of the thatch and when it's next due to be replaced would be my first priority in your shoes.

Truetoself · 03/08/2024 07:58

Location, location, location!

There are amazing houses around me which are further from amenities and less convenient for our lives eg school/ station. I would pick location any day

charlieinthehaystack · 03/08/2024 08:02

thatched cottages do have their own problems I understand that you need high insurance due to the fire risk re the thatch. older properties are obviously at risk of problems like damp so would be worth getting a survey done especially as it has been price dropped

HappilyContentTheseDays · 03/08/2024 08:11

Presumably you bought your current house using your 'head' but you still hanker after the cottage that stole your 'heart'? Well, time to try the 'heart' then.

Personally, with houses I'd go with my heart every single time; partly because life is too short and secondly, the number of people who regret a house move because they chose too sensibly is huge.

Go back for a second look...check the practicalities. Narrow corridors, neighbours etc. If all OK, go for it. Find out why they're moving, it may be for a perfectly normal reason and nothing to do with the cottage. Thatched roofs are fine - they need renewing every 25 years so just check whether it's coming up for renewal and factor that into your decision. Rodents aren't particularly a problem with thatch but do check insurance requirements.

I'd definitely go for it....

Greytulips · 03/08/2024 08:14

How much is it to rent a cottage for Christmas?

standardmum · 03/08/2024 08:15

I've lived in a couple of houses similar to yours and can sympathise.
Is there anything nearer to amenities with a bit more character? Having said that, the dream home doesn't seem too far off the beaten track to me. I'd happily sacrifice a bit of a drive for my dream home. You don't seem to be saying your current home is in a good location, just a practical one.

unsync · 03/08/2024 08:21

No to the thatch. Rodents, spiders and fire risk. Plus depending on where they are in the maintenance programme, rethatching or at least ridging. It's not cheap. Also needs specialist insurance. Do your homework first if you are keen.

TwigTheWonderKid · 03/08/2024 08:30

The increase in mortgage would not put me off. Life is too short to live with regret. But that works both ways and I'm always surprised by the number of people on here who buy houses without thinking everything through (especially location).

So before you go and see it again, research the hell out of it, what life with thatch would mean, what other kinds of maintenance it would need, energy bills etc, what is the WiFi like? Realistically how safe would you feel cycling? If you can currently walk to shops etc and won't be able in new house, could that be a problem? Then decide with your heart and your head.

OneDayIWillLearn · 03/08/2024 08:41

I used to live in a ‘practical’ house I didn’t live and it bothered me every day. Five years ago we decided to move to a period house which was smaller and in an area which as much less handy for various things, and also more expensive.

After we’d viewed it (and really liked it) we wrote a list of all the downsides and went through them one by one thinking about each one and deciding if it was a deal breaker e.g. going from driveway to street parking, losing a bedroom, increasing the mortgage, semi to terrace so losing side access for bikes, smaller garden etc etc. we also thought about the exit plan if we didn’t like it after moving. Anyway we decide to go for it and I never regretted it - living in a house I loved makes a difference every day!

we are just about to move again (work related move) and again have chosen a house people on MN would not approve of - it’s detached this time but the middle of nowhere, old, needs work, etc etc. again, went to see it, decided we loved it, then did a list of all the things that might be issues and thought through them one by one.

my feeling is, you only live once and I would rather spend my time on the earth in houses I loved rather than sticking with a practical compromise BUT I do think doing the groundwork in terms of thinking through what the decision will mean is worthwhile.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 03/08/2024 08:48

current house is walking distance to DS secondary school and the station for DH to get to work. Dream house is a couple of miles away so would have to cycle/get the bus, but still near friends for DS and he’s nearly 13 so would be driving by the time he’s 17

He might be driving he might not . But why would you move somewhere that makes travelling for the other two people in your family more difficult ? And putting reliance on driving on your DS . Do you want to spend £££ on insurance?

It's also madness ( and I say this as someone who loves Christmas) to put that as such a priority .

As the post above - rent somewhere pretty for Christmas one year .

Look at updating the 70s boring box of a house ( I bet you can )

And not only the vermin'n'spiders risk , the update of a thatched roof and the fire risk.
Maybe it;s up for sale because the whole lot needs replaced ?.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 03/08/2024 08:52

Is this just your dream house or are your DH and DS as keen as you on this proposed move ?

OneDayIWillLearn · 03/08/2024 09:03

Ps if you haven’t already I’d binge watch some Love It or List It - might give you some ideas!

Sunnyside4 · 03/08/2024 09:06

Either way, have a couple of viewings and spend time having a good look around the area.

Is it likely to be a long-term purchase, ie potentially take you into retirement. If so, think about how that works for you - will it be warm and cosy. If you're not able to drive, what's on offer locally you can join/take part in.

BetteLaSwet · 03/08/2024 09:11

Personally I would avoid thatched but my opinion has been influenced by a fire in a local cottage. A freak incident in the chimney caused it and took almost all the roof. This was more than two years ago and it’s still standing empty without a roof, because it’s listed and the wood to replace the internal structure has had to be ordered from somewhere with a huge lead time. The residents have been staying with a family member all this time. The house has been open to the elements until quite recently.

Another thatch in the village according to the person who lives there is plagued by huge spiders and mice. Since we’ve lived here, another has had a full re-thatch (if that’s a word!) which cost something like 20k.

All this aside, walking to the station and school are huge benefits. My DH had to drive to the station here and was having to do the rent a driveway parking space thing, because the station car park was chocker and expensive. Every night he was booking a space. My DC walked to school as a teen and their mates were in nearby houses, so it was quite easy to build friendships and socialise.

Having said this - I’m big on people having their dreams. So if the practical stuff doesn’t put you off and the rest of your family are fully on board, I would go and look at it again at least but with eyes wide open.

isthesolution · 03/08/2024 09:17

Head definitely.

We are in the process of moving and have seen some houses that have amazing qualities that we love but have let our head rule and are going for practicalities over everything else. Our argument is once the kids fly the best we can have our perfect little cottage with the open fire and countryside views etc. For now we are going with bus routes, school catchments and enough room for all their stuff.

SprigatitoYouAndIKnow · 03/08/2024 10:41

Head I'm afraid. You don't even know if you would be successful in buying, property purchasing falls through all the time. Then you would have big expenses and no new house. Teenagers being able to transport themselves is much better too.

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