Oxted v Cobham v Sevenoaks

[lastminutebabyname]

We are looking to move out of London, but are tied to commuting to London 3 days per week so need to stay within easy commuting distance (although one of us can likely get a WFH job in next few years if it becomes too much). We have 2 young boys.

After a few weekends away, we have narrowed choices down to Oxted, Sevenoaks, Cobham and maybe Esher. Also liked Haslemere but sense it’s too long a commute.

So please can you help me narrow it down further before we go to visit schools etc? Does anyone have current local knowledge of these?

A few pointers:

• House budget up to £2m. Now in a London terrace, we are keen for a bigger house and importantly a big garden
• Likely private schools, but would consider state. Academic but not a hothouse and provides sport for all not just the best kids. Am keen to see past flashy marketing material and pick a school which tries to get the best out of every child but also allows them to enjoy their childhood.
• within reach of nice countryside, but happy to drive a bit for this
• community - we find SW London very transient, so keen to put down roots somewhere and give the boys somewhere to home. We are two working parents, so ideally not an area with mostly SAHMs (nothing against this and might consider it myself further down the line, but just want a mix for now).

Our thoughts so far:
Oxted - liked it, but only one prep school so a bit stuck if we don’t get both boys in there
Cobham - nice area, good schools, not sure if we are wealthy/flashy enough!
Sevenoaks - liked it, especially nearby Otford, but feel less knowledgeable about Kent schools than Surrey
Esher - probably too close to London and preps seem v competitive for Y3 entry (eldest would be looking for a space in Y3 in 2025)

Thank you!

Oxted is lovely. A real village and community vibe, with a very good state school. Direct line into London, close to M25 and a stone’s throw from lovely countryside and the North Downs. A great choice if you have a good budget. Don’t know the other areas well enough for comparison, but it’s an excellent choice.

Oxted has Hazelwood. Kids who live there also go to Caterham Prep, Hawthorns (Bletchingly) and smaller ones like Oakhyrst, Essendene.

Once you’re out of London, lots of people will travel a few miles for their Prep of choice.

Agree kids from Oxted commute to a number of prep schools. Hazelwood is the most local but there are at least five others within a 20 minute drive. I don't think Hazelwood is particularly selective and is one of onky a few going to 13. Having said that few houses in Oxted itself would be worth £2m. Look at Limpsfield, Woldingham or slightly more rural towards Kent or further South perhaps.

Thank you @MissSookieStackhouse @LIZS @WombatChocolate , it’s really helpful to hear positive views on Oxted. Are any of you familiar with Woldingham? We didn’t visit drive through there when we visited Oxted, but it looks very nearby and there seem to be a few nice properties there currently on Rightmove? It’s obviously smaller, but does it still have a good community vibe?

There are nice properties in Woldingham, just watch for M25 noise and a very steep hill down to A22. Chelsham is also nice.

I will check out the other preps you mention. We have a couple of colleagues with children at Hazelwood and they seem happy. Don’t know anyone with kids at any of the others - are any of you familiar with them? Hawthorns is appealing on paper as it’s co-ed, great grounds and the destination schools seem similar to Hazelwood?

Just think about secondary destinations. Hawthorns dropped CE a few years ago and as a result year 7/8 has reduced in numbers. Not an issue if you plan to leave at 11 but might be at 13.

Also I’ll obviously call each school soon, but do any of you know how likely these preps generally are to have spaces? We would need a Y1 place and a Y3 place. Presumably there is some movement out of Surrey each year, but Id imagine less than in London?

@LIZS thank you - exactly the kind of information I need as we are not from England originally and finding the school system complex!

Have you considered Weybridge, it has a fast train to London if you are commuting as most of the criteria you mention. You would get a lovely house with garden for £2m. Loads of prep schools in reach

I grew up in Sevenoaks & it’s changed a lot over the years but it’s very commutable to London (25 mins to London Bridge) & has access to beautiful countryside. The town has a nice mix of chains & independents. It’s very expensive property wise if you want to live near the town/ station but you would be fine with your budget. The main consideration is that in Kent you have the 11+ exam & grammar school system. I’ve heard that some children start being tutored in reception in order to pass the 11+! Some feel it creates a two tier system & makes it very competitive. However if you are considering private education there are plenty of good options also including Sevenoaks school.

@Bellaboot - thank you, yes we actually drove around Weybridge, Esher and Claygate this weekend. We liked them, but were slightly concerned it mighty be a bit too “flashy” for us to be honest! Do you live there / know it well?

@Wheredidyougetthat thank you - that’s helpful colour to the grammar system. We did really like Otford when we visited. Looking at the prep school leavers lists, it seems almost as many go onto grammar schools as indepedents? Would be quite appealing to have a grammar option, although obviously don’t know how academic my children will be yet and am definitely not interested in tutoring a 5 year old (nor do I want to be surrounded by people who are tutoring their 5 yos!!)

Further down the Sevenoaks train line is Tunbridge Wells / Tonbridge.
£2m buys a nice place and an array of private / grammar school options.
Nice countryside and you’re already halfway to the coast for easy weekend day trips.
Commute about 45mins into London Bridge if that’s doable for you.

Oxted and Sevenoaks are both lovely. Oxted feels smaller and has less to do (no shopping, fewer restaurants, etc) compared to Sevenoaks.

Have you looked at Reigate? It's similar to Oxted and Sevenoaks but nicer in my opinion.

Dorking also might be worth considering, though the train is slower.

Godalming might be too far out but is similar to the other places you've mentioned.

I live very near Woldingham - it's beautiful but has nothing going on. You could look at nearby Warlingham, but it's not as charming as Oxted, Sevenoaks, etc.

If you have the budget for private schooling, please leave a space in grammar for those who can't. Whilst Sevenoaks is fairly expensive, lots of local areas aren't as affluent and our kids rely on those spaces.

With a 2m budget, I think you may be best staying in London. You won't match the amenities outside of it and surely 2m gets you a very nice house still in most parts of London?

@sarahb083 thank you - hadn’t looked at Reigate, I’m not sure why, will take a look!

Check out East and West Horsley. Train to Waterloo 45 mins bottom of the Surrey Hills, spoilt for choice with regards to private schools. Such a lovely place for families to grow up.

Yes I live in Weybridge, it certainly is a well off area but I'm not sure if more flashy that any other area with mulit million pound homes. We only moved here 3 years ago and the only thing I don't love about it is the traffic. It's really safe, well connected and fab restaurants.

@Bellaboot thank you, helpful, i will take another look!

I don't think Cobham or Weybridge are flashy at all. Is it the football training ground that makes you think they are full of flashy WAGs? If so, that's not the case at all. I'd say they are both quietly, pleasant areas to live.

I personally prefer Cobham as the High Street is nicer and you have the river by the High Street. Weybridge has better trains though for London commuting.

I’ve lived in Cobham and weybridge. Cobham is nicer imoh. But check the villages out close to Cobham such as oxshott, the Horsley’s I think a nicer option and less traffic

Barnes is nice, not transient, in London, and probably within your budget.

Reigate is nice too and so close to London, easy to commute even by car. Dorking, Oxted are a bit old IMO. Cobham and Weybridge have a traffic problem.

You mention wanting a big garden. You’ll get that, but may not also get a park nearby, or other amenities, as you do in London.

@lastminutebabyname they’re all lovely places, but just picking up on not wanting there to be a majority of SAHM’s situation…IME, the places you are considering have a higher likelihood of a larger population of SAHM than a London school would. Tutoring happens everywhere- there is always someone either overtly or covertly tutoring for some sort of competitive edge - whether or not you engage with the nonsense that goes with it is up to you. I’m not knocking SAHM’s (I’ve been one as well as a high earner mum) but sometimes it is like dealing with a load of ‘CEO of the family’ types who invest everything in their kids and it can be a bit smothering. London schools tend to have two working parents as the norm and is a bit more chill. I ended up being a SAHM for a bit because I felt I was failing my kids but really I was just sucked into the whole thing. I look back and laugh at myself now. On the upside, I had a load of time to play tennis 😂

FWIW, I’ve done both and would remain in London every time with your budget. Less stress getting to the school plays/assemblies/sporting fixtures (of which there will be many with two kids), more likelihood of getting long term help to stay (Nanny etc) bigger choice of good schooling, easy access to activities/culture. Greater diversity in the school community. Better work-life balance. Commuter towns can also be transient so make sure you are moving for the right reasons.

Living out you need to consider the impact on both yours and the family life : train reliability - and some train lines are shockingly unreliable, the need for more than one car, commuting in general (draining). Cost of commuting.

Can you air bnb some places in the towns you are looking at? It might help crystallise your thinking and give yourself an opportunity to try the commute before you commit to a house.

I agree with @Balletskirts on considering staying in London. What is it that makes you want to move out? There are plenty of lovely, leafy, charming places within London that are great for raising families.