WWYD - to give the seller an ultimatum or not?

[TakesTheCake12]

I split up with my ex last October and I'm in this awful position where we're still living together whilst we wait for our house to sell. Long story, acrimonious split (he refused to sell for a long time) but we put the house on the market in March and it sold within 2 days. Our Buyer really wants to complete and everything is ready but my related onward purchase is just dragging on forever...

My offer was accepted on 30th March but the sellers, seem in no immediate hurry. I thought I was in a good place with the transaction and hoping to complete at the end of July but I've since learned that there are 5 transactions above mine, all at various stages! (I was originally told 2 !). My seller also changed their solicitors 2 weeks ago which delayed me even further. I am at the point where inquiries have been satisfied by my conveyancer. I've been asking for a completion date for weeks and the sellers are just saying they can't propose one.

Top of chain – Property 1 - This is a vacant property - enquiries raised 16th July.

Property 2 - Searches ordered at the beginning of the month so should be back at the end of the month. The mortgage offer is in.

Property 3 - Searches have been ordered, enquiries raised – I await an update regarding the mortgage offer.

Property 4 - Mortgage offer issued, replies to enquiries sent

Our seller’s at X Street's daughter's related sale - Property 5 - Mortgage offer has been received and the search results are awaited

WWYD? I'm desperate to move and I am prepared to rent for a few weeks if need be so I don't hold my buyer up and lose them, although this would be really difficult as I have 2 small DC and 2 cats so it isn't as simple as if I was a single person. I would expect the sellers should be prepared to do the same!

Do you think it would be worth giving the seller an ultimatum, they agree to complete before mid August and rent until their property is ready or I pull out?

This is all worsened by the fact my fixed rate ended in May and we're paying a mortgage of over 2.5k a month (London).

My ex partners sale will be ready in mid Aug but he's already agreed to rent if need be.

Ultimatums are rarely a good idea unless you are prepared to follow through if you don't get the result you want. If the sellers say no, are you prepared to start property searching again from scratch? Is that likely to get you a property faster than just waiting? I'd guess not.

Are you REALLY prepared to rent for a period in order to get your sale? Have you looked into what that would cost, and whether there is anywhere suitable available? Renting for a few weeks would probably mean renting at holiday rental prices - can you afford that? Are you comfortable with the risk that you might lose your onwards purchase while you are renting and then be stuck in rental for an unforseen period of time? What if property prices start rising while you're in rented and "off the ladder"? If you are prepared to do all that, why aren't you just doing it? If you're not prepared to do all that, why do you think the people you are buying from ought to?

I could afford a few weeks, perhaps a month in rental (I'm thinking an Airbnb, not a rental property where I'd sign a contract, but clearly not on an open ended basis. The way I see it is, on my side my buyer is chain free, the chain stops with them. The 4 properties above my seller are their concern not mine. Also, an additional transaction mentioned above, the sellers daughter that is selling a property to buy one with her parents, that wasn't even mentioned to me but that impacts my sale too. And then their decision to change solicitor so late in the game.

To answer your question why I'm not renting now, clearly I'm not going to throw money away I don't need to until I have an idea of when completion is likely to be.

I had a similar situation last year. We had to move out for our buyers but our seller was taking their time. We knew it would only be for a few weeks and thought it would be easy to find something for a few weeks. No! Air bnb was a fortune (we live somewhere touristy all year round), rentals wanted 6 month leases at least. We even tried caravan parks, B&Bs, hotels. We ended up having to live with family and do a 90 min round trip on the school run every day twice.

So my advice to you would be to suck up a 6 month rental and get out for your sanity. Gives the chain plenty of time to work its way through. And when you get the keys on completion you may be able to do decorating before you move furniture in etc and do a slow move.

Be careful..we thought we could do air BnB but ended up not being able to as noone would rent to us for a 2 week length and we didnt have any pets.

When I sold my house to move in with DP (he had his own house), my buyers were taking forever. It was getting on to 6months and eventually I told the buyers that if things don't start moving quicker I would need to put the house back on the market as I was still paying council tax, insurance etc for my house as well as now paying for a share of my bills at DP house. Luckily for me, this worked and things picked up and I got a completion date within a few days! Also luckily for me, there was no chain involved and I had somewhere to live while my house was on the market so I had the ability to use my threat and then follow through if I really REALLY needed to.

It's such a pain OP I really hope things start picking up soon for you x

I have no problem with ultimatums when you are genuinely at the point that it's really the end of the line for you. There's nothing for you to lose at that point. It seems fair to give a last chance.

The problem is you are in a long chain which will cause delays no matter what.

Do you really want to rent yourself and how easy and affordable is it? Lots of others don’t want to do this and neither would I. You can issue ultimatums but need to mean them otherwise it’s just hot air.

You can’t just ignore the chain above either.

We gave our buyer an ultimatum yesterday as we believe they won't actually do anything to progress the sale - there is no chain either way, buyer in rented, we're going into rented. We had to ask will this ever happen? If we gave the person more time, would that help? And as the buyer refused to tell anyone what was going on we had to come to the conclusion that no, it wouldn't. So that's a roundabout way of saying that I don't think you are at "ultimatum" point yet.

I've just this morning confirmed a completion date to our buyer of 19 August. I had no choice as there is a party in the (short) chain above my XPs property that are moving to the other side of the world when their sale completes and they've been piling on the pressure for him to agree 19 August as they need to book their shipping container. I can't risk his chain collapsing and we would lose our buyer.

What a mess! I think if I now propose this same date to my seller, surely they will agree if I say I'm pulling out otherwise? That's an additional 4 weeks they have for the chain to run through, and then they might have to rent for a few weeks. They may see through my bluff, or refuse to deal with me afterward, that's always a risk.

So you had double costs for a period? That's the worst! I'm glad your threat worked out for you, I think the issue with mine is they probably know my situation and that I couldn't actually pull out or I'll have to start all over again and that would be 6 months minimum before I'd be moving in to a new property. I don't think I could even rent for 6 months because the amount they would need in deposits and first/last months rent would prevent me from completing on my transaction when the time came, as I'd need that money. It would have to be an Airbnb or similar.

I would only tell them you would withdraw if you 100% will. If you're bluffing, I wouldn't do it.

I honestly cannot believe that you are expecting the people you are buying from to take on all the costs and risks of completing and moving to rental when all of the pressure here is due to your split and the people in an entirely different chain. I think you're being incredibly unreasonable.
If you have agreed to complete on the sale of your current property on 19th August, then it's you that needs to start preparing to rent while you wait for the chain to complete.

Yet another example of how pathetic our property sell/buy procedure is.
If they've agreed completion date I'd exchange asap then the completion is locked in.
Frankly in your case I'd sell now and rent, even if you had to for six months. It would be worth it to get away from ex and take the pressure off onward purchase.

The pressure is mainly due to my buyer, who has already been waiting 5 months and is throwing money away renting!

in your case I'd sell now and rent, even if you had to for six months

This, absolutely. You're the one with the chain-free buyer. Don't lose them. Look into proper rentals and free yourself from having the mad chain above decide your fate. You can become the bottom of the chain and/or you could look for a new chain-free house to buy while you're renting, but if you won't move out and rent (not just for a month, that's madness when you've no control over the end date) then you'll understand why your seller wouldn't. At least look into the proper rental options now so you have a solid plan and not a vague idea that it might be difficult with kids and cats etc.

I mean yes, I am the one with the chain free buyer, but once I complete I also become a chain free buyer for my seller don't I, so he should be thinking along the same lines, not to lose me!

I'm prepared to rent, just not indefinitely. My XP can take the cats if needed and will probably have the children a bit more in the first few weeks of parting ways if I have issues with finding something. I just can't sign a 6 month lease, I'm sure the chain will take less time to work through and I can't afford double costs for any period of time or to have thousands tied up in deposits that I'll need for the down payment. It feels like an impossible situation

I would tell them you have to complete by a certain date. I've threatened to pull out of a sale because I had finally lost patience. I rented with cats and most wanted at least a 6 month lease.

Your seller can then find somewhere to rent or lose you

You can't force anybody to move - you can propose a date and hope they agree but that is all

I would check what happens to your mortgage if you break the chain too

Did your ultimatum work for you?

My "ultimatum" deadline passed yesterday, I heard nothing from the estate agent (last contact he told me the buyer might not now have a mortgage) and my solicitor confirmed that the buyers' solicitor was still not answering their emails. On Monday I'm going to be asking the agent to either actually help or put the house back on the market. Or I'll get a new agent.

At what point is it ok for you to say this is ridiculous, enough?

It shouldn't matter whether it worked for them. And ultimatum is for when you've reached the end of your rope and you're definitely done if things don't happen now. That's letting your sellers know where you're at and giving them the chance to rescue the situation. If you don't mean it and wouldn't pull out if the date requirement isn't met, it's just manipulation, and that's not fair.

When we were buying our house the sellers gave us several ultimatums, the reality was that we had first time buyers who needed a considerable amount of handholding so no matter how many times we called the EA or solicitor we just couldn't do anything about it.

We were ready to go. All in it took 2 months which I thought was pretty quick but the sellers were just awful, so much unnecessary pressure and after the 3rd ultimatum we just ignored them. Not you I appreciate but just my view.

Good luck op I know how stressful it all is, the day our removal van arrived I was jumping for joy!!

@TakesTheCake12 - Yes it did. And yes like a other poster I was at the end of my tether. My solicitor and the EA were constantly chasing. It was no chain both sides. If it hadn't worked I was fully prepared to relist.

@GoingDownLikeBHS - I would relist Monday either with your EA if they are good or with another. You only want proceedable viewers so that knocks those on the head who can't get a mortgage later.

Your EA needs to market it aggressively.

For you to find out your buyer can't get a mortgage means no amount of waiting with change this.

I'm glad it all worked out in your case.Only 2 months! That's the dream. Mine has taken double that already and no end in sight. There is definitely more they could be doing, not changing thier solicitor at the last minute for a start, and agreeing to rent not to lose me. But we will see what they choose!