Struggling to buy mum out of house

[Tryandtryagain02]

Hello, I'm really struggling with a solution here, any ideas would be welcome! My mum and I inherited my Grandparents house 50/50 in 2021. I agreed to buy my mum out of her half, however, I haven't got very good credit. The mortgage broker tried multiple lenders who dealt with bad credit and unfortunately I was refused. Subsequently, my mum had a contract written with a solicitor that suggested I pay her rent (£550 a month) as this is the equivalent to half of what the rent would be and so we agreed. The rent is to be paid for 2 years and if I don't buy her out within this time then it has to be sold. It has caused endless arguments and ruined our relationship. I've sought advice from a solicitor who said that it would be enforced and my partner and our 3 children would have to sell. Every couple of weeks she gets angry and insists I sell the house as I won't get a mortgage. I've searched for other properties to buy and nothing is within my price range, renting is slim to none in my area and I'm running out of ideas of what I can do. The mortgage broker told us to go back in 6 months as they declined due to a loan I had taken out - which is now paid off. But I worry every day that when we do reapply we will be declined and I have no idea where we will end up. Does anyone have any other ideas please?

Thanks

Ok, so you ripped off an old man who had no capacity to consent to you living in his house rent-free?

If he had no capacity to consent, you should have paid rent.

This is a difficult one. If you signed over half the house in Ireland to your mum, she should give you more time to get a mortgage to buy her out of the UK one, and at least agree to reduce the cost of buying her out by the same amount as she has gained on getting full ownership of the Irish house. I wouldn't want to see my child and three grandchildren homeless, even if they'd made choices I didn't agree with. They would still be my child. I understand she wants the inheritance, she should acknowledge that she's been gifted half the Irish house. I'd hope I'd understand that house prices are crazy and it's not always a case of knuckling down. I bought my house ages ago and in identical circumstances - same jobs etc, I couldn't afford it due to price rises. I bet most of us who've bought more than 15+ years could say the same

I'm surprised by PPs harshness.

She had two years rent free in her grandad's house. Covid was financially hard. I imagine she wouldn't have got any support with housing costs as she wasn't paying rent.

She's been paying fair rent to her mum since then.

Meanwhile her mum has effectively swindled her out of half a house in Ireland and is trying to evict her now, preventing her from getting on the housing ladder.

That doesn't look right to me, even if the mum disapproves of the partner and thinks OP is bad with money.

It doesn't look as though she's trying to protect family assets from being frittered away, or taken in a divorce. It looks like she's just greedy.

Are you paying council tax on your grandad's house or splitting it with your mum?

What is your partner's contribution/responsibility here to housing his three children?

What are you spending 2x full time wages on that requires CC debt and a loan?

I'd be interested to hear your mum's side of this....

My partner and I pay all the bills on my Grandparents house including the rent. Most of the credit card bills I racked up were whilst I was at university and the loan was because I was low on cash.

How much do you need to borrow for your mortgage?

@Tryandtryagain02 - I think from reading your posts you & your partner have very little money and budgeting skills.

I can understand your mum not wanting to be tied in with your financial miss management. I assume she bailed you out with the Ireland house.
You have had years and ample opportunity to sort it out, but you didn't.

That must be frustrating for your mum.
Hopefully, you will finally learn from this and get your ducks in a row.

So even though you were gifted 50% of a 150k property - you signed that over to her

she wants you to sell your current property to get her 50%

She has decided to keep the 150k property and is no longer prepared to give you 50%

This changes things. Massively!

Yes.

@Sinuhe how did she bail me out of the Ireland house? It would have been taxed at 40% if I hadn't signed it over?
@Quitelikeit I need £140 thousand

She's given her DD lots of time. DD has made herself less eligible for a mortgage in that time. It's easy to play the emotive 'making her DD and three grandchildren homeless' line but a) they'd have half the value of the house to pay rent or put a deposit on buying a home, so they wouldn't be homeless and b) at what point does it become OP's responsibility to house her own kids? She's had a free house for a good while and then low rent. Her grandparents have helped her a lot, her mother has helped her, DD needs to house her own DC with half the money from the sale of the house.

@Tryandtryagain02 - you said yourself that the Ireland house is 50% yous by verbal agreement.

So for whatever reason (financial?) you were unable to have your share in your name at the time...

@Sinuhe please read again. The house would have been taxed due to inheritance tax at 40% if I didn't sign it over. Therefore, it was a benefit to us both by signing it over to my mum.

So you lived rent free in your grandads house. Because you think he wouldn't want you to pay rent. And he didn't have capacity to consent to this. Thats really entitled. Your mum has been more than patient. Sell the house.

I think I explained this all terribly. Thanks everyone for your advice, much appreciated. I think the best thing to do is probably sell the house, rent for now and pay off debts and improve credit.

@Tryandtryagain02 so you have done this for inheritance tax reasons, again, probably because you are unable to pay for it ...
It's fine, but my conclusion stands, you are (have been) terrible managing your finances.

Very sensible, glad you're seeing that. I'd let go of the 'probably' though and commit to it. Things will be so much cleaner when you've sold, clear your debts and have a nice chunk of change to rent and improve credit towards a mortgage. Your destiny will be in your own hands and none of this conflict.

No! Tell her you will sell that house when she gives you 50% of the value of the Irish house!!!

Of course not, he would have never wanted rent from me and he didn't have the capacity to decide either.

This is awful. You don't get to decide what a person without capacity "would have wanted". And, oh look, it just happens to benefit you.

Who had power of attorney for your grandad? They should have been making decisions in his best interests.

I honestly don't think I can cope with the harassment and stress of it any longer. When I've asked her to sell she said she wants it for her retirement, then follows on to say that we'd lose so much money through selling it - tax, solicitors etc. and through the exchange rate we'd lose so much money she said. She won't keep the house and let me pay what else would be owed to her. The text messages and abuse have been constant for 3 years now. I don't think it's worth the stress any longer. Undoubtedly she will get her half of the house, spend it all and end up selling the Ireland house anyway as a few family members have suggested.

@CeruleanDive Okay, but here is some context for you. My mum has openly admitted herself that when my Grandparents made their will that he wanted me to have full ownership of the house in England and she was to have the house in Ireland but my Grandmother disagreed and thought it was unfair so said split the two houses 50/50. I was brought up by my Grandparents more so than my own mother. I can categorically say he would have wanted me to live in that house as they had asked me when they lived there would I ever consider moving in (rent free) which I declined.

Yep.

your mother has been very reasonable so i dont know why its causing fights.

You have 2 years to sort of your shitty credit score and bad debt - You havent done that.

I also dont inderstand why you wouldnt buy a flat other than because you'd really love to stay in the house.

I'd really love a lot of things... to be 5"7 for example.... its not happening though.

Edit: I've rtft
ypur mother sounds like an arsehole but youve been so foolish.

i dont understand why you would give away 75k euros when you wrre in debt and have THREE children. If you invested it thatd be their uni fees virtually paid for...
Also dont get how you havent paid off 3k in 2 years

@TemuSpecialBuy I think wanting to keep your children in your family home is a little bit different than wanting to be a couple of inches taller. Don't you? Bit of a shitty comparison. My mum has been reasonable but as have I by asking her to sell the house in Ireland.

Read through the thread again. INHERITANCE TAX.

That will be nice for her mum.

I think you need to explain what you mean by that.

Do you mean you couldn’t pay your share of the inheritance tax in order to release the property?

Or that someone told you you could avoid paying tax if you gave your share away? Because they advised you very badly as you now have nothing.