Struggling to buy mum out of house

[Tryandtryagain02]

Hello, I'm really struggling with a solution here, any ideas would be welcome! My mum and I inherited my Grandparents house 50/50 in 2021. I agreed to buy my mum out of her half, however, I haven't got very good credit. The mortgage broker tried multiple lenders who dealt with bad credit and unfortunately I was refused. Subsequently, my mum had a contract written with a solicitor that suggested I pay her rent (£550 a month) as this is the equivalent to half of what the rent would be and so we agreed. The rent is to be paid for 2 years and if I don't buy her out within this time then it has to be sold. It has caused endless arguments and ruined our relationship. I've sought advice from a solicitor who said that it would be enforced and my partner and our 3 children would have to sell. Every couple of weeks she gets angry and insists I sell the house as I won't get a mortgage. I've searched for other properties to buy and nothing is within my price range, renting is slim to none in my area and I'm running out of ideas of what I can do. The mortgage broker told us to go back in 6 months as they declined due to a loan I had taken out - which is now paid off. But I worry every day that when we do reapply we will be declined and I have no idea where we will end up. Does anyone have any other ideas please?

Thanks

Yes, but I've even suggested we sell both houses so I've got a very good deposit for another house.

Your argument upthread was that your grandparents would hate to see the house you’re living in sold, but now you’re saying you want to sell both?
I can see why there is a lot of confusion and ill feeling in this situation. You’ve essentially had 4 years of no/very low rent, but have still managed to get into debt, despite knowing you’d need a good credit rating to get a mortgage. Can you see where your mum’s frustration lies?
Do you work full time?

There is no other solution. Your dilemma is a moral one. Basically you are sitting on your mums inheritance and she wants it back.

Yes it’s heartless in a sense but why should she fund your living? Are you still paying her rent? You knew this day was coming so why did you compromise your credit rating?

you must have known that it was poor? I’m afraid she has many reasons to be mad at you as you seem financially irresponsible

I understand it would completely suck to give up the house but it sounds like she is determined to make you. I think it’s very telling that you have seen a lawyer to see if you can stay in the house?!

When you have known the deal all along!

Apologuse to your mother and she might show you some mercy

Why don't you sell the house you're in, you get your 50% from the house sale plus your mum uses some of her 50% to buy you out of the Irish house which you sign fully over the her? Seems obvious if you're being straightforward about it, but you're not with all this BS about how important it is to keep the house you're in, and outstaying your agreements, building debt despite no/low rent etc. It makes it very hard to her to trust any plans you make.

Yes, and it's true they would be very upset but if it helps to buy another house by selling both then that is something I would do. It's low rent because I own half of the house. I can see where my mum's frustration lies but as I previously mentioned there's a lot more context I could include here which I don't think is useful. Yes we both work full time.

Yes I realise that it’s low rent because you own half the house, but you also had a period of no rent when you owned none of the house at all. To get into debt while having abnormally low housing costs suggests poor financial management. Are you sure you’d be able to pay the mortgage without getting into further debt if you were to buy your mum out?

Well if she's outright 'refusing to sell' the house in Ireland, can't you tell her you'll be taking the same action she is? Ie if she doesn't buy you out in two years, it must be sold?

It seems a bit rich of her to refuse to sell one house that you both own whilst demanding you sell the one of her choosing.

So if the house in Ireland is also 50% yours, why don't you use the value of your share against the house you're currently living in and mortgage for the rest?

So, say house in Ireland worth equivalent of £200k, house you're living in worth £400k.

You are owed £100k from house in Ireland and your mum is owed £200k from house you're in.

So you need mortgage of £100k to buy your mum out of house you're living in, and she then owns house in Ireland outright?

Typical MN reply. Treating adult children like strangers. No wonder so many on here have terrible relationships with their parents/adult kids. Hell would freeze over before I would make my own daughter and her family homeless, but then my family don't treat each other like bailiffs.

Equally the mum is sitting on OPs half of the house in Ireland. Why hasn't she bought OP out of that one to allow OP to buy the one she lives in?

If the Ireland house were settled, OP could settle her debts and get a mortgage on the house she lives in with her children.

I can't imagine making my child homeless.

Could you buy 1/4 of the house from your mum? Can mortgages work like that?

Can you investigate a financial mediator type service?

• Equally the mum is sitting on OPs half of the house in Ireland. Why hasn't she bought OP out of that one to allow OP to buy the one she lives in?*

She could with the proceeds of selling the house OP won't get out of.

Also I'd imagine she doesn't trust OP to follow through on buying it. She's not done as she's said so far, just run up more debt.

I'm a bit worried about this property in Ireland. Is it rented out? Who pays the maintenance bills?

Surely a solicitor could work out the legalities of you each owning the properties outright with a cash adjustment from you?

How much would the cash adjustment be? Can you and your partner get a joint mortgage to cover it with him entitled to a small percentage of your house?

I was wondering is this possible for now. The house in Ireland is complicated as Ireland's tax brackets are low for Grandchildren. The house in Ireland is worth about 150 thousand euro and inheritance tax for Grandchildren was bracket B and anything inherited above 32,500 euro is taxed at 40%. When the solicitor read us the will they explained I could sign the whole house over to my mum, this was during a period of grief where I didn't seek legal advice or any advice at all. Therefore, my mum now owns the whole property in Ireland.

@Tryandtryagain02 so am I reading this correctly? you and your partner and your three kids all moved into the house during covid??? your partner must have felt he had really landed on his feet!! rent free!!!!!!!! you actually sound like you have used your grandparents and your mothers generosity to the max! you really do think your mother should just let you have the house, because, after all, she already owns her house and also has another property in ireland!! you have nothing so you deserve this, at least in your selfish mind!!! after all this time you still cannot afford to clear your credit card debt of a measly 3k. What is your partner doing to help???

You need to read what has written again. I own half the house in Ireland (kind of). We didn't pay rent for a year as my Grandfather was still alive and wouldn't have expected me to pay rent.

Tbh it does sound as if you've made some decisions which haven't been the best. Are you still with your partner - you seem to have gone from thinking he was 'lovely' to only being with him because you want to buy your GP house (and with a baby thrown in the mix).

Why not sell the property, lower your expectations and buy a smaller house/flat for you and your children, give yourself a bit of breathing space to concentrate on your work, finances and kids.

Given that you've written that your mother "owns the whole property in Ireland", you need to read "what has written again". You contradict yourself (depending on which story you think makes you look better, it would appear).

Therefore, my mum now owns the whole property in Ireland.

Forget about the '(kind of)' - you signed it over to your mother so you don't own half of the house in Ireland. Ironic telling people to read what you've written when you're so dicey with the truth. Forget about factoring in the Irish house. Focus on this house, which you need to sell and use the money from to pay off your debts and then buy/rent elsewhere. Stop stalling and get it sorted. Anything else is obfuscation and delaying tactics.

Sorry for the late reply... but it's all above board and made watertight by a solicitor.
We know what her wishes are and will honour them.

She's not UK, so the worry about care home fees does not apply.

How can you 'kind of' own half a house which you have signed over to your Mum?

Therefore, my mum now owns the whole property in Ireland.

Okay, legally I no longer own half of the house in Ireland, however, we made a verbal agreement (stupidly) that I still own half the house.

I don't think that will be enforceable, especially as you and your Mum are not on the best of terms.

This whole situation seems really sad, could you not sit down with your Mum and sort something out? The other alternative is your both get solicitors and fight it out in court costing both of you a fortune. I think you have had a really good deal up to now and perhaps it is time to acknowledge that to ensure you move forward and get on with providing a home for your own family.

If he had no capacity to decide why did you think you had a “right” to move in? Even if your mother or you had a LPOA the attorney would not have been able to give consent to that unless it had previously been documented that it was your gf intent in these circumstances through expression of wishes etc. or that there was a clear vested interest for him fiancnailly for you moving in like a rental income. An attorney cannot start making decision to change how someone would have managed their financial or legal affairs without sound legal and financial reason for the person on who’s behalf they’re acting. The norm is to maintain status quo unless there’s a compelling reasons for the incapacitated person. Incapacity doesn’t mean you can assume for yourself what he would have wanted. It is not how consent works in these situations.

Op, honestly this whole post smacks of entitlement. You took possession of a house becuase YOU considered it daft paying rent where you could live for free. And now you’re expecting your mum to forgo her inheritance while you have messed around for a number of years with false promises and hopes of ever buying something you have clearly never been able to afford.

you have inherited a house, jointly . That’s an amazing gift and opportunity form your gps. You should have sold it then in 2021 when the market was buoyant and prices relatively high. You could then of used that to put down a large value to mortgage ratio on your own place, when you could eventually get your finances in order to obtain a mortgage .

i feel sorry for your mum, being emotionally coerced by your “poor me” attitude and entitlement. She’s cut you a lot of slack but she is entitled to her inheritence irrespective of fact she already owns her own property and has other assets. She is older and that represents her life savings in her retirement - off course she will have more assets than you have currently. That is what we expect and plan to happen over a long life. You, I assume, stand a chance to inherit some of that wealth when your own mum dies, unless you keep pissing her off by continuing this entitlement attitude.