as a little background, i’m in an 8 year relationship which i’m looking to put to an end. both me and my partner are very different people and over the years i’ve lost my self little by little. i’m coming to terms with the fact we’re better off apart.
over the years ive endured a lot of controlling and coercive behaviour, we’ve been together since i was 19 and to me this was all normal. only since it’s brought me down and i’ve opened up to friends and relatives they’ve advised me a lot of what i’ve been going through is emotional abuse.
i know putting an end to the relationship will leave me with nothing, no car, no home, no phone, nothing. but i’m at the point in life where i want to be happy more than i want to be comfortable. i’ve endured this long enough, and it’s eating away at me.
i’ve spoken to women’s aid, and they’re assisting me through this. they advised on seeking refuge for temporary accommodation.
we currently own a home together, i only own 20% of it. i’ve worked out in equity i could be entitled to roughly £30k (he has complete control of finances, so im not 100% on the exact figure).
i want to be able to purchase my own home under a mortgage in time, however due to my low income i will need assistance from UC to get by. as my savings will exceed £16,000 due to the equity from the house will this affect my entitlement? £30k is not enough to put down a fair deposit on a house in my area. i have a little boy, and the areas this would cause us to live in are not by any means safe.
i’m happy to rent for the time being, but i’m almost 30 and never rented a property in my life. it’s not something i’d ideally want to get stuck in the loophole of.
not only that, but by having a mortgage, will this alone put any affect onto my entitlement for UC?
I’ve had a brief look online and it seems you can exclude your saving by putting it into an ISA for a home, but this is only for first time buyers. although i’ve owned 2 homes previously (including my current one) these were heavily relied on my partner. my first home i owned 25%, my current i only own 20%.
does anyone have any advice, tips or possibly any similar situations? maybe not even about the money specifically, but anything that could relate to this situation would be so helpful.
i’ve been wanting to walk for years, but after constant comments that i won’t make it alone, i’ll have nothing, i’ll end up homeless, i won’t be able to provide a good lifestyle for our son, that i’ll forever be dependant on a man, it’s made me too scared to walk away. i’m plucking up the courage to be selfish and prove him wrong, to finally stand on my own two feet. i just really don’t know where to look or where to go.
this is quite a long essay of some sort, so if you have taken the time to read this. then thank you x