Merging properties with DP - is this a reasonable plan?

[futurebristolian]

DP and I currently live in London. We each own a property. We would like to move to Bristol. We would like to rent in Bristol before we buy to make sure it's right for us.

DP plans to sell his property now. My fix term mortgage doesn't run out until 2027. I plan to rent my place out until my fix ends. We will rent a place until I sell. After mortgage payments, management fees and income tax I will break even. I can then put what I currently pay for my mortgage towards a rental + DP's contribution. Budget will be in the region of £2000 - £2500 but all the better if we don't need to spend this much.

Added to this is that I currently have to be in the office two days a week and we would like to have a baby.

Current thinking is that, if we are lucky enough to have a baby, once I am back to work after maternity leave (6 months) I will drive to my parents in the cotswolds once a week with the baby. I will commute by train to London from there two days a week and my parents will look after the baby. I'll then drive back to Bristol and wfh for the rest of the week with baby in nursery. DP is able to wfh full time.

Does this seem like a reasonable plan? Is there a better way of doing things? Is there anything I have missed?

Sounds like a good idea on paper

Realistically though you might be a bit knackered and not wanting to sleep in different beds all the time.

You say that you want your parents to look after your hypothetical child, how do they really feel about it?
You are assuming that conceiving said child is going to be straightforward and will fit in with your plan. Have you factored in possible fertility problems?

I sort of had a timetable planned but it took 8yrs, 5 miscarriages and several years of fertility treatment before DS arrived and even then he was a bit of an accident.

I’m not trying to worry you but life never goes to the master plan we set our hearts on.

Hopefully everything falls into place, but do make sure that your parents are fully on board and committed. I certainly wouldn’t be happy being designated childcare to future grandchild without a full and frank discussion. DH & I have had life changing illness in the last two years which would make it difficult to look after a young baby for a couple of days. Two years ago it would have been easy, a lot can change in your 50s and 60s.

Your poor dc will be spending it's very young life in a car or with your dps..

I would wait until the Bristol office opens. Trains can be unreliable. DH had to drop everything to take DS into Bristol this week so he didn’t miss a connecting coach as the train was cancelled.

Bristol traffic can be grim. After my Dad’s funeral it took 1.5 hours to do a 6 min drive that ended up involving a taxi that night and next morning to retrieve car as the traffic and parking was so horrendous due to the football.

@futurebristolian does your current mortgage allow rental? AFAIK standard mortgages don't allow rentals

It's the commute bit with small kids that would bother me. I had two close together and getting them both up and ready to take somewhere before work nearly finished me off! Admittedly I started work at 7.30 so everything was early... And the that was only 30 mins away. Sleep deprivation and working on its on its horrid. I was lucky and my parents came to me two days a week. I would wait until the office in Bristol is open.

This. You didn’t mention how long you’ve been together or you ages but do not rush into trying for a baby until you’ve lived together a while and really know each other. It all sounds very rushed to me. And don’t assume you can have a baby, or that anything will go to plan!! And why can’t you just hypothetically leave the baby at home with your partner and he takes them to nursery during the day? It’s a bad place to start from doing everything yourself if you’ll both work full time

I'd wait until the Bristol office opens, then sell your house. Commuting the width of the country with a baby halfway doesn't sound very practical. Alternatively move to the Cotswolds at least the baby would stay put.

Can you not afford to stay in London? I'm sorry but I don't get the mad desire to move to other cities when your job is in London. Long commutes are hell. I know someone who lives in Bath and commutes in a couple of days and the trains are an absolute disaster.
When mine were little, I made it home every night at a decent time for bath and bed because of my short commute. Yes our garden was the size of a postage stamp. But there is so much to do in London with kids, half term clubs, museums, parks, massive playgrounds. I never drove anywhere ... mostly bus and walk.

People say schools are bad but they aren't all terrible that's for sure. All I'm saying is that Bristol is a long way if your work is in London so maybe look at some other options

I’d wait until the Bristol office opens. My old company told us they were opening a new office by the end of Q1 in 2020, they are now trying to sell the land. When you’re in Bristol and have this hypothetical baby, I would start at 5 days (or 3 days if you both can drop hours/compress hours) in childcare.

If your parents want to do childcare and are up for it, they’ll probably have to come to you. Or you drop them at your parents and your DP picks them up on your WFH days. However, it’s going to be at least an hour driving from Bristol to the Cotswolds and it’s likely you’ll either have a baby that hates the car and cries when they’re in at or a baby that sleeps in the car. This means your journey home they are probably going to fall asleep and that will throw off bedtime and nighttime sleep.

I think you’ll have to decide which is more important - you not having a commute when the Bristol office is open or your parents having the baby when it arrives. If your parents having the baby is more important, you should live in the Cotswolds.

Thinking about it, it would also probably be helpful to get clarity (if you don't have it already) on what wages will be for people in the Bristol office, when it's up and running. You don't want to make plans around having a London salary and then find out you don't get one.

I wouldn’t worry too much about childcare at this point. I think that sounds fine in theory but a lot could change before then.

The main thing is to ensure your figures all make sense for the house move and that you are safe financially.

when you’re pregnant and know where you live etc you will have more clarity around the childcare situation.

Agree with all the others. Spend a few hundred pounds on legal and financial advice. Being a LL is complicated and tiring and there’s new requirements coming out every other week. Don’t downsize your career for a baby unless you are married. Don’t assume everything will go to plan.

Your childcare and commuting plans do sound a bit mad. In bad weather, train strikes and Bristol/London traffic you won’t want to do that routine with a six month old baby. You are better off looking at flexible working options for you and your DP and using a childminder or nursery close by your home or work.

Stay in London in your place and move to Bristol and have a baby when your employer opens an office there.

Get childcare where you live and leave your DPs out of it.

Or if you want your DPs to be more involved (where is your DPs family in all this,?) Move to the cotswolds. Then commute 2 days from there.

The 2 day 2 stage commute you are proposing sounds awful. And not nice for DC.

I'd also consider a 4 day week instead to spend a bit of time with your dc when young. Make the day off Monday and it will be less noticeable to your company that you aren't around as much.

Whatever you do share child responsibility equally with your DP (DH2B?). Do not get into doing more of the nursery runs. He WFH so can do the same as you.

It sounds as if so many things could go wrong you'd be incredibly lucky if nothing did.

This sounds very hard. Stay where you are until the Bristol office opens. And if your DP is selling his house and moving in with you, work out a sensible financial plan so that you aren’t disadvantaged.

Renting out a property is not easy, even if you use an agent you are legally responsible as the landlord. There is some new legislation coming in and you have to have gas certificates etc. You need a big financial cushion to cover void periods, repairs, replacing goods. You'd need to do a tax return annually and pay capital gains tax when you sell. It's hard work and your figures don't seem like they'll stack up.

Adding a baby and a complicated commute/childcare arrangement to the mix is a bit crazy.

I think you'd be better staying where you are until the Bristol office opens or selling and sucking up the early repayment charge.

I think it all sounds a bit mad, and you’re banking on a lot of things happening which might change, as others have said, getting ill, parents getting ill, parents finding baby too demanding, company moving to Bristol, housing market staying static. Also there are some major life changes happening all in a very short period of time. I wouldn’t fancy moving in with someone and moving cities at the same time, and wouldn’t have wanted to go back to work after 6 months with any of my kids- they were still bf every 3 hours at that point. I went back at about 9 months which news much better.

Have you considered your partner selling his place and moving in with you, then TTC whilst you’re still in London, you taking full mat leave, saving some money and then moving to Bristol together once your mortgage term ends, hopefully with baby? By that time I would imagine that it would be clear if your company is going to open an office there, you and your partner will know if you are compatible to live together and your parents can have some trial days looking after the baby before they commit.

And also agree that living in London is fab with a little baby, so much to do, easy to get everywhere and in your case you’d still be close to friends etc who you’ve made already so you wouldn’t feel cut off from normal life. I’d have found it very isolating being in a new place and having to make new friends with a tiny baby.

How much is your early repayment fee?

How much would you loose if your place was untennanted for say 2 months?

How much would it cost to commute from Bristol (via the Cotswolds) two days per week?

What if your parents decide that you living there 2 days a week and then looking after DC as well as hosting dp wfh doesn't work for them?

Why the urgency to move to Bristol before the new office opens if your dp wfh and your job is in London?

For me there are too many hypotheticals, no specific reason why you have to move so far away at this point anyway.

Early repayment fees seem like the least of your worries - they usually decrease to 2% in the penultimate year and 1% in the last year. Is that cost going to be so astronomical that it's worth the stress, hassle and legal paperwork of renting out your home?

Your dp isn't looking good in all of this op ....

The best laid plans of mice and (wo)men. Your baby will be a grenade detonating in all of this. You are planning a life split between three separate locations, London, Bristol, Cotswolds. I have doubts about the sustainability of that. First off, after six months Mat leave, you may find t to at you are a changed person with new life priorities. You'd be better to pick a location and build your life there as you'll want/need community.

I had all sorts of plans to go back to work 3 days a week after DS1. He woke numerous times during the night and I was exhausted. My job was in London and involved some driving to different locations locally. I didn't go back after maternity leave, I didn't think I would have been safe at the wheel as I was so sleep deprived.

As someone whose parents provided (free) childcare for two dc for about three years - I would always say NEVER to rely on this childcare or build all your plans around it.

Hypothetical babies and family members' hypothetical relationships with them (and you, post baby) are easy to manage. The reality can be very, very different.

My parents offered free childcare. We were grateful and accepted. We built our finances and routines around this (bigger mortgage, changed working hours, things that were difficult to undo).

My parents were lovely, reasonable people btw. We had a great relationship and i was one of the 'they would never do this' crowd. But it went badly wrong. Lots of reasons, building up - until one day we were left with no childcare for two young dc from that very afternoon. Having to suddenly pay £800 a month for a CM with no plans or continuity for this blew our lives and finances apart, as well as family relations and all took years to recover.

You can't possibly say your parents won't change their minds or would never do xyz. They have NO experience of looking after YOUR baby, at their current age.

Family childcare is great as long as, at the flick of a switch, you could make other plans.

I think even if everything went completely smoothly (see past posts about what might not work), it's just not doable. Have you worked out the actual timing? A colleague of mine commuted 2 days a week from Bristol to the London office, without a baby, and she was getting up very early and getting back late on those days and it was pretty knackering.

Do you actually have time to get up, get hypothetical baby up, get to parents, hand over baby to parents, drive (or walk?) to their local train station, catch train, get from the London station to your london office (assume including a tube or bus journey?). Then do a day's work. Then do the whole thing in reverse. As soon as the baby has a bedtime (usually around 7pm), I don't see how you will be home in time to put the baby to bed. And you would have to get up stupidly early and get the baby up early. When the baby is very unlikely to be sleeping through the night. And even if he/she is for a bit, teething /illness will mean more sleepless nights.

You might think - the baby will just go to bed at my parents, then I'll wake him/her up, transfer him /her to my house, put back to bed there. Honestly that absolutely isn't going to work and will be a nightmare for you plus the baby /toddler.

You're not my actual colleague are you?! Most of your details are the same as her 😁. Her initials are AR.

Ok it seems like the consensus is that this is a bonkers idea!

Renewed plan would be for DP to sell his place now. Invest the profits. We live at mine and TTC here in London. If we do conceive and have a baby then this is likely going to be around the time my fix ends. By that point more will be known about the Bristol office. Then in 2027 we can make the decision about whether to make the Bristol move. By then we will know whether or not we will have a baby and whether or not there is a Bristol office. There will be no ERC, stress of renting out or CGT to pay. I ran the figures and CGT would be about the same as the ERC if I rented out until 2027 so no saving.

We'll have more money by DP moving in to mine and running one household so can save during that period.

The downside is that we're really keen to move out of London and my place isn't ideal to start a family. However, the move out isn't off the cards it's just delayed and we could have a baby in my property - it's a fairly big two bed. No garden but a good sized terrace and garden not much benefit before baby is walking anyway?