How to buy/sell house when I’m a picky B

[Ginsoakeddryjanuary]

We own our home with a mortgage, which we bought new about 15 years ago, pre-marriage and kids. Now we have 2 spirited DSs we want to move somewhere with more outdoor space. In fact I’ve wanted to move and have been actively looking for at least 6 years (pre kids), and I’ve only seen about half a dozen houses I’ve been interested in in that time, because the type of house/area I’m looking for are few and far between. The couple I’ve viewed over the years weren’t right for one reason or another. So. I saw a house last week that looked promising. Called the EA and after a discussion with the seller, they have fobbed me off going to view “because they want to have more than 1 viewing lined up so they don’t have to keep getting the house ready”. I should note I saw the house advertised a couple of months ago but it was over budget (and about £50k overpriced for the area) - it has now been reduced by £25k, to the top end of our budget. I think they won’t let me view because our house isn’t on the market. Or one of them doesn’t actually want to sell perhaps (EA told me sellers are getting divorced).

So, long story short, I feel stuck because I rarely find a house I want, and when I do I can’t view it because I’m not on the market. But I don’t want to sell our house, when I’ve been looking for bloody years with no luck.

So, WWYD? Keep on as I am and hope that when one comes along we’ll be able to sell ours quickly, or risk selling ours and spending eternity with disgruntled buyers waiting for my picky ass to find something?

You need to put your own house on the market if you want to be taken seriously as a potential buyer.

Yes it may take you ages to find somewhere up to your standards (I'm fussy too so no judgement) but being fussy means you want to be able to move fast when that perfect house does become available.

I wouldn't let you view if you are not even on the market. Its a waste of my time. When I was selling I spent a lot of time making sure everything was perfect for the viewing. What's the point in doing that when your house may not sell for months, it just frustrates an already frustrating situation.

Yes I agree.

I put too much effort preparing for viewings to allow them for people who haven’t even got their own house on the market. Some people just like to view houses as entertainment

You aren't a serious buyer.

It is absolutely standard these days to not let people view unless their house is on the market.

In similar circumstances we decided to use a bridging loan and owned two properties for a few months.

6 years is a long long time to be looking for houses. You have to either get a buy with a bridging loan or not been so choosy. Are you confident your house would sell really quickly?

Realistically, if your criteria is that tight, you need to sell and move to rented and be ready to proceed as soon as the right house comes to market.

Alternatively, you could fund onward purchase with a bridging loan. But that depends on your finances.

If your house isn't on the market you won't be taken seriously

We rented for 6 months between houses.

Meant we were attractive buyers and got our dream house despite not being the highest offer (by some way).

This. We'd all like to be picky but if you're really going to be this picky you won't be able to buy and sell at the same time.

The general rule is, get your house under offer first and then view and offer on the house you want to buy.

I'm selling at the moment and would never accept an offer from someone who is not under offer. It will stay on the market until the potential buyer is proceedable.

Regarding being picky, you have to decide which is more important to you, moving with a compromise or staying where you are.

If you wait for the absolute perfect property you could be waiting a loooooong time.

I mean this kindly, I promise: you have a pickiness problem. Normally if someone was waiting for the right thing to come up, I'd say selling and going into rented would put them in the best position - but if you had done this at the point you first started looking, you'd still be in rented now, six years later, so that's clearly a terrible option for you. So I guess you could consider a bridging loan, but honestly I would start by assessing what your search criteria are and make a genuine effort to be open to more homes.

Rank your criteria in terms of importance to you, and take into account the ones you can't change versus those you can. And then see what would happen if you ditched some of them. Because right now, it seems like what you are looking for is basically not available at the budget you have (other than in this one specific house which you haven't seen yet and might be just as inclined to dismiss that point as you were the others). (I do think, incidentally, that Mumsnet can be particularly guilty of holding up certain things as absolutely essential that maybe aren't helpful.)

Your other other option, of course, it's to stay put. Because yes, ultimately, your home is your most expensive purchase ever, and if you don't feel happy with the options available then it's more than reasonable not to buy them. It's all a balancing act, ultimately. Best of luck!

Yes, exactly. Our EA was instructed not to admit to viewings anyone who couldn’t proceed immediately. I think that’s pretty normal.

Exactly, we sold to a cash buyer who wasn’t our highest offer. Ten weeks from offer being made to completion.

This was us. We saw a house we loved, let the estate agent know we loved it and immediately put our house up with them, at an attractive price. We sold within days and offered on the house we love and got it!

You can always take your house off the market if it doesn't work out. The key will be pricing right though to get a quick sale.

Thanks for the replies - as I expected I think. We haven’t sold a house before so not familiar with the process around what is “normal”. It seems sellers want viewers to be on the market as the starting point.

I am definitely a serious buyer, we were on the market at one stage but took it off again when I didn’t find anything I liked and felt stressed by having interest in our house and under pressure to buy something just to complete the chain.

I am 100% too picky. I know this about myself. It’s not just houses! 🫣🤣 but that being said I am willing to compromise, and have looked at houses that need total refurbs, extensions, etc to achieve what I want. But still nothing quite right. Budget is £500k which an enormous amount of money (for us) and why I want it to be right.

Thank you @Persipan for your rational response, kindness well received!

and @WitchyWay this was my plan, but so far it has failed! Congrats on making it work! I was intending to put ours up for £30k under market value to get it sold, and part of me is still thinking this might still be the best plan 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Ginsoakeddryjanuary being flexible on the price will definitely help for a quicker move and is maybe what needs to happen if you're picky and therefore want to sell quick rather than sit and wait.

It also helps if your house is in great condition.