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£200k deposit and can't afford a family home

226 replies

Catcakes · 10/05/2024 18:53

We have a sizable deposit, household income just shy of £100k and we can't find a basic 3 bedroom house (that's not a flat) that we can afford. Our budget is circa £600k but everything in our range is either a total dump, in a dodgy area, or we get totally outbid. I know the housing market is bad but seriously, what the hell is going on? We have don't have time or money for a big renovation. Where is everyone getting all their cash from to afford these basic houses?!

And yes we're in the SE and sort of in the London suburbs. And no we can't move to the north East 😂

OP posts:
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Talipesmum · 12/05/2024 09:50

Catcakes · 11/05/2024 13:45

Because we thought it was cheaper, we have family and friends in Epsom (too expensive) and around the Dorking area. DP's mum isn't well and is getting on a bit, and lives in Banstead. I'm thinking most suburbs of London are generally a bit dull to be honest? But can't afford anywhere with any 'vibes.'

Where are you at the moment?
Problem with estimating affordability of places based on where friends and family live is that if they bought 5, 10 years ago, it may have been affordable but chances are it isn’t now. Totally agree with you on lack of vibes, boringness of Surrey commuter belt, but if you need to live around here you just have to suck it up, find somewhere you can live with, and concentrate on what it can add to the lives of your children and you.

Oblomov24 · 12/05/2024 09:56

I'm finding this hard to believe aswell. Seriously? On £100k? Laughed at urine and outside toilet! with a good deposit?

Maybe you need to be more specific op, on where you actually want to live. Make some places, specifically. Also, Where exactly do you work and your commute, so that posters know which station you are going to for work, because that makes a difference re suggesting trains into waterloo or King's Cross etc. so that posters can help you.

If your twins are only 2 nursery costs matter, now, but I'd be looking further ahead - What schools do you want? I'd start there. A good primary leading to a good secondary is essential, for me. (We live in a slightly cheaper, not so desirable place as say Egham or Weybridge, but ALL the schools round here are very good, and my ds's is superb and I always knew that do never had to move).

Where do you live now. You mention Dorking, are you young? Because Dorking is very sought after, is lovely, but not buzzing like some of the London suburbs.

Catcakes · 12/05/2024 10:18

@Oblomov24 We're currently near Kenley area, but where we live isn't great for walkability or cycling. We're mid/late 30s. We've been looking around but there's nowhere affordable that has much going on? So if you have any area suggestions on that front, that would be helpful. We like hiking and cycling so Dorking seemed OK with the proximity to Box Hill and South Downs. I'm personally not from around Surrey so don't know it well at all.

OP posts:
Pollipops1 · 12/05/2024 10:24

Kenley doesn’t have much going on tbh so I get that. I would try & go left tbh eg Guildford/Weybridge or left & a bit further in eg edges of Kingston/Sutton. Lots of parks.

Catcakes · 12/05/2024 10:33

Also people asking about criteria - we're quite open but don't think we're asking for a huge amount:

  • 3 bedrooms
  • At least one practical family bathroom
  • Space for a study or enough garden space where we could build an office/studio shed. Open to garage conversion too.
  • Access to London train station
  • Preferably not on a main road or through-road
  • Good schools
  • Area MUST be walkable - eg. pavements, decent local parks, walkable to some shops and amenities. Really don't want to be stuck on one of those new build cul-de-sac islands where everything is a 20 min drive away. I feel isolated easily and I want the kids to be able to make friends and see their friends easily. I grew up quite rurally and was very isolated from friends growing up and hated it.
  • Big bonus if it's an area that has safe cycling routes but this is tricky outside of London
  • Driveway would be handy but not a deal breaker for the right house in the right place
OP posts:
Oblomov24 · 12/05/2024 10:35

Right, I have to admit I don't know much about that area south of Croydon. I think you are going to have to do a little more base basic investigations into areas you might like.

Crikeyalmighty · 12/05/2024 10:48

Did you like any of the ones I posted @Catcakes - I thought lots of them fitted your criteria

Lonelycrab · 12/05/2024 11:43

Couple of suggestions in Fleet. Funnily enough we moved from Kenley to Fleet and I genuinely think it’s a brilliant place to bring up a kids, it ticks a lot of your boxes. Good schools both primary and secondary, surrounded by gorgeous countryside in pretty much all directions, excellent for walking and non road cycling, great leisure centre and fairly decent high street. Might be getting a little expensive on the commute into London though but it’s inside an hour.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/143383319

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/146782373

ontheflighttosingapore · 12/05/2024 13:58

Catcakes · 12/05/2024 10:33

Also people asking about criteria - we're quite open but don't think we're asking for a huge amount:

  • 3 bedrooms
  • At least one practical family bathroom
  • Space for a study or enough garden space where we could build an office/studio shed. Open to garage conversion too.
  • Access to London train station
  • Preferably not on a main road or through-road
  • Good schools
  • Area MUST be walkable - eg. pavements, decent local parks, walkable to some shops and amenities. Really don't want to be stuck on one of those new build cul-de-sac islands where everything is a 20 min drive away. I feel isolated easily and I want the kids to be able to make friends and see their friends easily. I grew up quite rurally and was very isolated from friends growing up and hated it.
  • Big bonus if it's an area that has safe cycling routes but this is tricky outside of London
  • Driveway would be handy but not a deal breaker for the right house in the right place

Hadleigh is Essex fits the bill. Olympic bike track and lovely countryside Good schools. Close to either Leigh on sea or benfleet station. 40 mins into London

Chewbecca · 12/05/2024 15:35

Except Hadleigh is up to 2hrs drive round the M25 from OP's family.

PensionPuzzle · 12/05/2024 16:38

OP have you done the sums on that size of mortgage/household bills if you're currently being stretched by a 2 bed flat? For context we're on a higher gross joint income although possibly not much more net, with a £300k mortgage on a 4 bed house with a fix that's about to end, and only one child in nursery, and we're a bit twitchy about tightening our belts next winter with a new mortgage rate. Obviously I'm projecting my feelings across but it's something to think about if you haven't already.

kirinm · 12/05/2024 17:47

Saschka · 10/05/2024 19:39

Yep OP, nothing decent to buy in SE London in the £600k range.

Look at this shithole in Beckenham

This one is the pits too

Do you realise the OP didn't say she's looking in London?

Saschka · 12/05/2024 23:25

kirinm · 12/05/2024 17:47

Do you realise the OP didn't say she's looking in London?

She hadn’t back when I posted that three days ago… she clarified later.

stayathomer · 12/05/2024 23:28

I am being serious though, why can’t you move and commute? We moved an hour outside Dublin and I get fed up of people talking about how affordable it is here compared to there but they won’t move, or how big the houses are here or how difficult it is to find somewhere decent!

Opalfleur2025 · 13/05/2024 07:43

stayathomer · 12/05/2024 23:28

I am being serious though, why can’t you move and commute? We moved an hour outside Dublin and I get fed up of people talking about how affordable it is here compared to there but they won’t move, or how big the houses are here or how difficult it is to find somewhere decent!

She is already moving to the commuter towns. And it is more expensive than London in many parts when you account for commuter fares as the gap between London and SE has closed.

I have a similar budget and we earn 20% more as a couple but I will always live in a flat. Perhaps with a third bedroom (currently have two). I bought at 27 too which is young for London.it is what it is, the housing crisis is global. The positive is that we spend less than 20% of our income on housing cos we don't currently value a third boxroom more than our quality of life. The one good thing about a housing crisis is that as long as you own the roof over your head or are somewhat secure in your housing arrangements, you can opt out of playing the game. If housing was more affordable maybe I would be tempted to buy a 5 bedroom house and then all my disposable income would go into it..

Our parents had cheaper housing but flights were expensive,.white goods too and eating out. I don't want to understate the seriousness of the housing crisis for those who are stuck in precarious rental or homeless but for those of us who can afford something safe and modest (600k can buy you a 3 bed share of freehold flat in many parts of London and SE and some do have private gardens), there are lots of people in a worse situation.

Opalfleur2025 · 13/05/2024 07:48

OP buying property (particularly houses in the SE and London) has become something for the top 30% of our generation and more than half have family help (in addition to above average incomes probably as those on 20k are less likely to have parents who give them 100k though I know a few exceptions).. I am one of the few people who didn't get given cash to buy.

Many People also get help and buy before children so they have equity in a flat. They may live 15 years in a flat and only move when the second child is 4 years old.. and then might even get help a second time on top of it.

The fear is that it may spread to the rest of the country.

kimchi81 · 06/08/2024 10:53

ibelieveinmirrorballs · 11/05/2024 06:47

Move to the coast out of the suburbs and buy a lovely home instead. Thats around my budget and I’ve just bought an immaculately renovated Georgian four storey home with sea views. I commute into London twice a week.

Sometimes you have to think a bit creatively to have what you want - I can’t understand choosing to live in a “dump” for that kind of money - but then I hate suburban living and post divorce moved out of central London for the coast rather than compromise by just moving a bit further out for precisely that reason.

sea views?! 🤨

yepyouknow · 07/08/2024 09:13

ibelieveinmirrorballs · 11/05/2024 06:47

Move to the coast out of the suburbs and buy a lovely home instead. Thats around my budget and I’ve just bought an immaculately renovated Georgian four storey home with sea views. I commute into London twice a week.

Sometimes you have to think a bit creatively to have what you want - I can’t understand choosing to live in a “dump” for that kind of money - but then I hate suburban living and post divorce moved out of central London for the coast rather than compromise by just moving a bit further out for precisely that reason.

sounds beautiful @ibelieveinmirrorballs !

and a sea view to boot! wow

housethatbuiltme · 07/08/2024 12:29

Catcakes · 10/05/2024 19:09

@BodyKeepingScore Every single property we've seen so far needs major, major work. At least 50k+ of work to be livable. Mainly down to damp, but also electrical and heating problems. And there was dog urine soaked flooring. One of the houses we saw still had an outhouse toilet.

News flash houses need work, people need to stop thinking they are buying a band new perfect item, thats not how houses work. Owning a house and building a home requires effort and cost from you.

All old houses will have issue and most new builds are thrown up substandardly to be cash cows that are worse than old houses.

Apart from dog pee soaked floors that stuff is standard, not 'a dump'. You should always expect damp in a house its standard, damp doesn't equal 'bad'.

There is a huge difference between simple condensation damp (insulation and ventilation - which most building have to some degree) or white water leak damp (from roof/chimney etc... often easy fix) or a grey water leak (dripping u-bend etc... often hidden but easy small fix normally) or black/red flood water damp (serious, avoid like the plague usually. Although depending on cause could be salvageable with a FULL back to brick strip out).

You should also always budget for heating, even if everything is fine on exchange and completion it can break a day or week or month or 6 months into you living there through no fault of the previous owner.

Unless something is a recent full reno or has been a rental you should expect old wiring too, its pretty normal in long lived in homes.

You should budget for these obvious basic maintenance fixes in you housing budget. Almost all houses have them so its actually better to know upfront what bits need fixing rather than the surprise of it being hidden.

Its weird people look top end of budget or above budget and don't expect standard little issues they need to fix.

BlueMongoose · 07/08/2024 16:30

Catcakes · 11/05/2024 09:46

That's interesting, it's obvious there's money about, like with anywhere. But DP has family who live in pretty average homes in surrounding area of Dorking and they're not particularly wealthy, and doubt they know many people on household incomes even close to £100k, let alone 500k. I wasn't aware it was a destination for the uber rich, it's a bit dull really, but maybe I'm wrong!

They may have bought before house prices became insane, or have inherited property to sell.

BlueMongoose · 07/08/2024 16:35

Opalfleur2025 · 13/05/2024 07:43

She is already moving to the commuter towns. And it is more expensive than London in many parts when you account for commuter fares as the gap between London and SE has closed.

I have a similar budget and we earn 20% more as a couple but I will always live in a flat. Perhaps with a third bedroom (currently have two). I bought at 27 too which is young for London.it is what it is, the housing crisis is global. The positive is that we spend less than 20% of our income on housing cos we don't currently value a third boxroom more than our quality of life. The one good thing about a housing crisis is that as long as you own the roof over your head or are somewhat secure in your housing arrangements, you can opt out of playing the game. If housing was more affordable maybe I would be tempted to buy a 5 bedroom house and then all my disposable income would go into it..

Our parents had cheaper housing but flights were expensive,.white goods too and eating out. I don't want to understate the seriousness of the housing crisis for those who are stuck in precarious rental or homeless but for those of us who can afford something safe and modest (600k can buy you a 3 bed share of freehold flat in many parts of London and SE and some do have private gardens), there are lots of people in a worse situation.

Who is this 'we' that spends 20% of their income on housing? That's an average. It may even include those who have paid off their mortgages and certainly isn't reflective of prices:incomes in the SE.

Gamergirl86 · 07/08/2024 18:08

Wishlist99 · 11/05/2024 23:46

Why don’t you increase your budget to £800k (say)? 600k is a tiny budget with a 200k deposit

This is mad
Don't do this.