What would you do post break up?

[PalmTree11]

Currently navigating a break up after a 7 year relationship.

We bought a 3 bed in Zone 5 just over a year ago. We pay 1,200 each into a joint account which covers the mortgage, food and bills. In theory, I could stay in the property and cover this leaving £500 a month to live off. I could potentially look to rent a room out should I feel like I’m struggling. I could also potentially buy my partner out - but I don’t need a 3 bed and have no ties to the area / no support network or social life here I travel into central for work / social.

I’ve looked at potentially buying a one bed, I make around £60k and have £50k in savings. Not a brag, just context, I’ve worked my arse off and lockdown helped to boost this. That said I can only get a mortgage of around £270k and paired with my savings I can’t find anywhere “nice”. I feel I need to move closer into London, I don’t know anyone locally and all my family / best friends are spread around the UK. No one really comes to visit me in Zone 5 so feel Zones 2/3 would allow me to be closer to work / friends in central and allow me to build a closer network post break up? Also better connections train stations for travelling out of town.

I’ve got £50k in the current house, I think my gut is to keep our current property and rent it out - rent would cover the mortgage and we’d have extra ££ from the income. It’s also a great investment property, hence why we bought it. Despite what has happened, I am amicable with my partner.

I think I’m going to have to rent a room out which I’m dreading, the thought of living out of a bedroom mid 30s after having the space just seems dire. That said I think I’d feel more comfortable from a safety perspective living with someone else at the moment - I’m feeling quite vulnerable when home alone right now, which is really unlike me! The rental market for one beds also seems horrendous and for somewhere “nice” that I’m familiar-ish with I’m looking around £2k monthly rent, food, bills, costs.

Sorry this is a ramble but what would you do in my shoes? Try and stay in the current house, potentially buying partner out. Rent somewhere for one. Rent a room in a house. Look to buy a one bed closer to the city? Sell house and just fuck off and travel the world, which is incredibly tempting 😆

I’d definitely sell the current place - doesn’t sound like you are that keen on it and you will feel better if you draw a line under the old relationship even if you are amicable.

Then maybe rent for a bit while the dust settles? Things might feel very different in 6 months in terms of where you want to live and why. And yeah why not go off travelling for a bit!

I think I would prioritise simplicity and making yourself as free as possible so you can make the most of being single for
now and then just give yourself some time.

If I was in your shoes.. I’d probably leave the house and move on, fresh start in a place you’d rather be. Sounds like you are not happy with the area .. and it would possibly be better for your mental health to just cut your loses and be near friends and loved ones in an area you like . Even if it’s a downgrade for a short time you can build up again, you are still young in your 30’s .. life moves on quicker than you think, you will be happy and have things sorted again (and even find love again?) before you know it.
All the best, in what ever you decide.

I would advertise for a lodger, but I'd stipulate Monday to Friday morning only, so I could have the house to myself for the weekend.

I'd do that for maybe a year, 18 months, pay off a bunch more equity.

In the meantime, having experienced that 'no one will come out to zone 5' for many years, I'd make a concerted effort to try to go out with friends in town - even if just with workmates, initially. It doesn't take long to expand your friends network when friends of friends regularly rock up at the pub/events - even more so when you are single. I'd also see if anywhere local to my house had a pub quiz, rock up, and ask the friendliest bunch in there if I can join their team. It's an easy peasy way to meet people. Live gigs are always an easy way to meet folk too.

Then I'd find a friend, or a friend of a friend to come and 'look after' the house at a massively subsidised rent for six months, and travel the world.

Then I'd review my options and perspectives on where I want to be. An awful lot can change in 24 months.