Yeah, I'm afraid this is normal practice in England. In Scotland, the seller has to commission a Home Report which is available to all prospective purchasers, a survey that covers the condition, along with an EPC report and a vendor questionnaire that asks various useful things such as about rights of way, change of boundaries, recent flooding/claims, etc.
Last I heard, average offer to getting keys time was 4 months 3 weeks. During manic house moving periods (which we are not currently in), it takes six months.
UK surveys: best practice would be to find a surveyor registered with the RICS (Royal Institute of Chartered Surveyors); a level 2 survey is generally recommended for properties 120 years old or younger, a level 3 for anything older than that, or anything that's had extensions or significant internal alterations. If you're buying a new build, you want to instruct a snagging specialist, not a surveyor.
How on earth does anyone ever complete on a property purchase?
Well, around 30-40% of house purchases fall through atm, so you're quite right to ask that question. It's absolutely daft beyond belief.