Has anyone grown to love a house they didn't like much on first viewing?

[movedilemma]

We were due to move a few weeks/months ago, but the chain felt apart. We now have new buyers and just want to get on with things. We're moving purely for more space. Same area. We've seen a house that is a really good size, but totally without any charm, very practical, needs a fair bit doing to it (which we'd have to take our time with) and 20 minutes walk further out of town. But so much more space! Has anyone grown to love a house that really didn't speak to them on first or second viewing? (Or should I just accept it's probably not the house for us?)

I think it’s probably not the right one if the only thing going for it is size. It sounds like you are not keen on the look, feel and location.

Yes. I didn't love my 1st house to start with, but, I knew it had potential. It was an ex council house, massive garden, parking, great views. It took a while, but I did live it, and sold it to a friend, so I still visit often and still love it now, 25 years later.

If the location was perfect, I'd say yes, but it sounds like that's underwhelming too. I don't think space is enough if everything else doesn't appeal.

It's not the house for you. When we were looking at what house to buy there were so many houses that fitted our logical spreadsheet driven approach scoring points for areas such as number of bedrooms, size, parking etc there was just one house we kept coming back to regardless of the logical side of things. We are now in the process of buying it.

I've bought 3 places in my life and I only 'fell in love' with one of them at the viewing stage. The other two ticked my boxes, but didn't charm me BUT I came to love both of them, because ultimately they had everything that was important and once I'd put my stamp on things, my affection for them just grew from there.

So I personally don't think you have to 'love" a place at the viewing stage if it ticks your main boxes.

In my experience there are often compromises that mean I'm not going to fall in love with a place, sometimes it can be very difficult to see past the decor/sellers taste.
I've got my list of 'deal-breakers' and 'nice to haves' but I am always hoping to view somewhere that has all those things and I fall in love with, hasn't happened so far.
If I doubled my budget I'd be golden, but in the real world it's tough.
I did like my current home, but after being here for a number of years I've never managed to develop love for it.
Hoping the next one will be different.
You have to live somewhere, within your means, but you can definitely get a good feel for a place even if it's not love.

You don’t even seem to like the house much, let alone love it. You describe it as “totally without charm”.

I would leave this one, personally. Wait for something to come up that you like better.

I moved somewhere I disliked and DH liked and after 18 months I still dislike it every day.

I wanted to buy our first house, my husband needed a lot of convincing. With the second house (our current home) we only viewed it to rule it out. On both occasions, we've very much felt that in hindsight we made the right choice. We make most decisions with heads not hearts and as someone else said have a key "needs to have non negotiables" and then a list of "nice to haves" .... If it didn't fit in with our non negotiable (proximity to station/specific bus route for commute) then we didn't view the house.

However little of what you've said indicates that you like any aspect of the house, aside from the fact it is bigger. Twenty minutes extra each way is A LOT particularly if you are commuting - that's 40 mins extra walking in the cold/rain every time you go anywhere. You're not comparing like for like as 20 mins IS a different location with different price points etc. If you've decided you want to move that far then what about other properties within a similar distance? Is this still the best?

We did similar with the second house. We started looking in the exact same area of London (ie: the same station) and had a similar criteria to the last search, except we wanted to upsize with the corresponding budget. We realised that we'd either have to move further away from the station (as around the station is mostly flats/small Victorian 2 up 2 down) to get the size of property we were looking for (around 20 mins walk each way, which we didn't want to do everyday) OR move 2 stops down the train line to where there was more housing stock akin to what we wanted which fitted our non negotiable better. In your situation though, you're looking to move 20 mins away to a property that you don't seem that sold on at all, but only you know whether it's the best you can get for the location OR if you're just panicking because you don't want the chain to collapse. You don't need to LOVE the property (I've never had that, but I don't have the budget) but you do need to want to live in the location and feel that the property is the closest that you can get to meeting your criteria in the area.

Thanks all, that's really helpful and good of you to take the time to reply. I think those of you who've said it sounds like it's not the right house are probably right. Feels like I should at least like the house. Not sure if I really do. There is something about it to leave me conflicted though. Don't think it's just the space. Have walked away from other houses with similar space. I guess also in it's favour also is it's got a nice garden, the street it's on is known for being a good one with a good sense of community, once replaced the kitchen could be a really nice space. If it was in the area we want, would buy it in a heartbeat. But at the same time it's not really speaking to me. Maybe more of a whisper.

Yes, we moved three years ago. First time I saw this house I thought it was OK. Not the one. Then I came back two months later and suddenly loved it! I've no rehrets we've been living here so happily.

Yes.
We moved to our bland, characterless 80s house - from our Victorian house which oozed charm - because it was in the right area and had the right practical features (driveway, garage, train station in close proximity etc).
6 years on and we LOVE it! It just needed us to put our stamp on every square inch and add our nice wooden furniture, nick nicks and art.
We could easily be here for the next 20 years.

Oh and just to add, we never even did a second viewing! Just viewed it once and then moved in!

Run a mile OP.

I've owned three houses. Loved two from the viewing and thought the other was the practical choice, good investment etc. I was never happy there and was so relieved when we sold up and moved back to our original village and into a house we'd loved on viewing.

Yes, we viewed our current home more than twice. It is bigger but needed everything replacing as it hadn't been maintained. DH wasn't keen at all, I saw a lot of potential but was also on the fence. We needed more space essentially. We bought it and we all love our home. It's in an ideal location,.neighbours are amazing. We have more space which is ideal as dc are getting older. It's got its own charm now we have put our own stamp on it. Still not finished in terms of doing it up but we've made it ours and we're happy.

I bought a house that was relatively charmless as my original desired purchase fell through on the day of exchange as vendors pulled.out.
It was a period property and lovely location etc etc
Anyway I was desperate, needed to move due to divorce and so bought my current home. It is a more modern house but not cool modern, basically has zero features and is just like a plain house. But fit the bill as it were.
We all.love it now! My counsellor said when I was panicking about the divorce that the four walls don't make the home, but that you do. And it's true, my.house is homely and lovely and I've got all my own art work up and actually I realised the benefits of bog standard rooms as they are easy to reconfigure!

No, we bought a house my husband loved, I wasn’t keen, (next house I won the argument). As much as I made it nice inside, I never ever grew to love it. And we stayed over a decade.

Our current house I didn’t exactly love (it had very very tired decor) but I could really imagine us living in it when it was done differently/ extended and we really liked the location. And yes I do love it now we are in it and have done the extensions and redecoration.

house we lived in before, had a lot going for it - space, huge garden, good road, style of house I generally like (1930s semi) BUT though it had been extended by previous owners (loft and kitchen) they’d done both badly IMO in terms of layout/ usable space. They had removed any period detail and there were things like artex ceilings and ‘modern’ flooring choices I would never have made though they were good quality and in good condition. Basically the house and all its compromises bugged me every single day of the 5 years we lived there. I made some changes to decor etc which improved things a bit but some of the things e.g. changing a large area of flooring, changing perfectly good windows, changing the ceilings, reconverting the loft or reconfiguring and putting in a new kitchen were just too expensive to justify as we’d have never got it back in the sale price and they weren’t spoiling our lives they just really weren’t my taste.

As it was we sold after 5 years quite easily and got a good price even with all those things I hated. So I guess everyone has different tastes!

but anyway I would ask yourself 1. Where does the ‘lack of charm’ come from and it it something you can change easily and cheaply? 2. Would it actually make financial sense to do the ‘improvements’ you’d need to? 3. How essential is all that extra space?? Sometimes rethinking the way you use current space can achieve a lot (just watch a few Love it or List Its!)

if you’re going to end up living with things that bug you for any length of time I just wouldn’t, personally.

I bought a house I didn’t love. It has a lovely rural outlook, large garden, plenty of space for a large family and that was about it. Confused layout due to many extensions, part used as a commercial office (strip lights and office carpet tiles) and generally grubby with magnolia paint and ancient carpets that smelt of smoke and dog. It was possible to change all the things about it that I didn’t like, but we seemed to live in a sea of plaster dust for a year and I spent every spare minute painting. I like it well enough to plan to live here for 20 years 😀
In your shoes I would carefully think about what can be changed and what cannot. I did have a second choice house that was the pretty one, but the garden had been built on and however lovely it was I would never be able to make that garden any bigger.

Maybe take a builder to a viewing and see what they say, if it needs loads of work to be right. Remember that Brexit and the cost of living have hugely affected materials and labour costs- think about doubled- and expectations are these will only continue to go up.

It seems like madness to move somewhere thinking you can change everything up unless you have a really really big budget. In which case just buy where or what you wanted in the first place.

Also agree with PP you need to have both parties in agreement if buying as a couple- whether you both love it or both feel meh. Do not buy anything only one person loves/hates. The more extreme feeling will win and it’s a big relationship challenge to live that way not on the same page, every day.

Thanks everyone, this is all really helpful. Some really useful insight and things to think about. We have got a second viewing lined up, but apparently there is now an offer on it so am hoping the decision gets taken out of our hands before we have to spend much more time on the debate!

This happened to us.

Viewed a 1970s house, floral carpets, that textured wallpaper on the ceiling, little kitchen. Sounds bizarre now but I really hated the dark brown internal doors, I think they were the thing that put me off. It ticked all the practical boxes so we put a cheeky offer in, not expecting it to be accepted. It was and we debated pulling out.

Ten years on and we completely underestimated the house when we viewed it. It's south facing and really bright with big windows and a huge garden. We knocked through the kitchen into the dining room, put in a new kitchen and replaced the internal doors , and redecorated slowly after that. Then after 7 years we did a big extension.

Ten years on from getting the keys and I adore that house. It's become ours and it's perfect for us and our family.