Dealing with FTBs

[Iwannabelessfat]

Slightly inspired by the nightmare vendors thread, but I fear we have unreasonable buyers.

They are FTBs and are completely averse to any risk and any risks which do arise they want us to assume responsibility for.

Our boundary fence appears to have moved by about a meter since the boundaries were drawn up in 1890 and so we have just been through a 5 month process with the land registry to get it all sorted. We lost our previous onward purchase as a result. Now it’s all sorted and they want us to provide some sort of guarantee around if there are any future problems. This is actually against their solicitors advice who are happy it’s sorted, and they came to us directly.

They have also asked us where the ‘maintenance agreement’ is for the heating system, why next doors chimney has been removed, and whether our furniture comes included. There is also an indemnity policy needed which we offered to split the cost on but they want us to pay for.

I am losing the will to live and they also knocked the price down due to ‘changes in the market’ which we negotiated on and met in the middle. We are buying our next home which whilst not a dream is perfect for right now and we really need it to go through. Especially after losing so much money after our previous purchase fell through.

How do I actually stay sane in this process? Are they actually being reasonable and I need to get over it? We’ve been as helpful as we possibly can be but these last enquiries are sending me over the edge!

Some of the things they are not being reasonable about but I would just try to stay calm and answer factually that your furniture is not included, you don’t know why your neighbours chimney is removed & you don’t have a maintenance agreement for the heating system ( if you don’t) but they can take one out via British Gas or another company once they become the legal owners.

They sound painful and I sympathise. But it’s worth trying to keep your answers neutral & unemotional. The indemnity policy I probably would agree to pay just to help get the deal over the line, assuming it’s only a couple of hundred pounds.

Those mostly sound like silly questions, so sympathises! But, I’m surprised you’re trying to get them to pay towards an indemnity policy. It’s pretty standard for sellers to pay for those and I’m surprised you’d justify a sale you really need for the comparatively small cost of getting one.

Agree that they've been unreasonable generally but its very typical for sellers to pay the full cost of any indemnity insurances.

It's annoying as they're barely worth the paper they're printed on, but we had to get about three different ones to get our flat sale over the line with our very nervy FTBs. Annoying at the time but now we're in our new place totally worth it to get it done!

We sold last year to first timers. Total nightmare. So naive about the whole process. The house was over 100 years old but they expected perfection. Wanted the building regs cert for when the bathroom was moved upstairs in the 90s! Before I bought it, but luckily I found it. The whole process was delayed by months because next door was building an extension and they wanted to wait until that had finished so they could have the building regs cert for that, even though it was nothing to do with our property! Luckily the owner next door was sympathetic and very kindly gave it to us.

To answer your question of how you stay sane - you don’t! Just keep soldiering on. Keep your cool with them. Remind yourself it will end. Drink wine.

They have most likely been reading mumsnet posts and getting advice from them. How many times have you seen FTB's on here panicking about every little thing such as a survey showing a 3 for electrics and how much can they knock off despite it being something the surveyor cant check as they aren't qualified.

There is also some of the most unhinged advice given on here when it comes to buying and selling which doesn't help. I tend to stay out of them ones but love a good read.

Ive got skin in this game right now as I'm buying and selling and I would have walked away if I had a buyer like this. There is no way to stay sane. It's only a matter of time before the next issue crops up, especially if they are going against their legal teams advice.

We had a FTB buying our property but their/their solicitor's questions were just something we put up with, within reason. There were points when we were incredulous about what their solicitor was asking about, including whether service charge was paid to date and if there would be an increase in service charge after we had already told them there are no service charges. This was highlighted as an outstanding enquiry holding the sale up!! They also pressed for "more info" about a timber treatment that was done in 2006; we'd provided upfront already the only docs we had been given when we bought the property in 2016, which was a certificate of the work done and a guarantee. They did not specify what "additional info" they wanted but asked us to go to the company who did the timber treatment 18 years ago to see if they had anything? Literally anything?? We declined to do that because honestly... We got there in the end but it took so much longer than it should have for a chain-free on both sides sale. It confirmed to me that we'll never buy a leasehold again, and hopefully we will never have to move from our new house until we are too decrepit to do stairs 😂

Normally sellers pay for indemnities, so unless it's ridiculously expensive, I would just suck that up. Everything else, I would just answer factually, even if the answer is "I don't know".

I would make it clear that you want to proceed, and try to put some firm dates in place. It's very likely that if they start getting the sense that they need to make some progress, they may realise they aren't being totally realistic.

However, I do think you need to have some sympathy with the fact that this is the biggest purchase they have ever made, and it's understandably stressful. I'd try to keep calm with them, but just say "X is dealt with, we want to exchange by Y date" etc...

Yeah, I definitely think they've been reading Mumsnet or MSE and taking on the extreme parts of some of the things that people post about.

We were similar when trying to buy; a lot of it was from having the fear of everything collapsing down around us, which was primarily led by a conveyancer saying 'I wouldn't advise accepting that' to things that experienced home buyers frequently ignore, and having a L2 survey that said 'every single window and door may not meet code' and the like. We simply didn't understand how to read common sense into what all these people were telling us. All I saw was expense, and a re-sale liability, which is in no way rooted in reality now that I know the vast number of things that most home buyers are prepared to overlook.

One thing I never would have done: pushed the price down due to market conditions, nor asked for free furniture.

But what you have to bear in mind is, they're probably on their arses broke. That leads to extreme sensitivity around potential problems.

How do I actually stay sane in this process?

Sounds like you really need them, so you have to make some concessions, but I wouldn't recommend making them all - you'll open yourself up for mickey-taking.

Pay for the indemnity. That's pretty normal for sellers.

As there was no maintenance contract on the boiler, get the boiler serviced and send over the paperwork.

If you do SOME things to keep them happy, you're far more likely to have a successful sale than if you do NONE of the things, just because it doesn't really make sense to an experienced seller. It will lessen their levels of panic.

Our sellers said no to absolutely everything; we walked away.

Oh and the most logical answer to 'why did they remove the chimney' is probably because they let in a hecking massive draft - if you don't use them, I'd rather they weren't there, too.

Ours also make several rooms sound like a gale is blowing in the house and keep my OH awake during our regular storms.

But if you don't know the answer, go and ask your neighbour! Then tell them. They're probably worried there was a structural defect that your own house might also be suffering from.