Moving to village with teens

[MrsAlwaysRight]

Anyone moved from a town to a village with teens? Did it work out ok or was it a mistake?

Currently they can walk to school, to work, shopping centre and friends all within walking distance.

Village we're looking at is just about walkable to these things but realistically would end up giving them lifts a lot more than now.

Do you feel giving up the convenience factor is a mistake or do the positives of the property/village you've moved to outweigh the inconvenience of the extra driving?

Thanks

I guess it depends on the upside. I lived in a village as a teen. My mum and dad had to drive us everywhere. I had to plan trips to see friends etc. Found it quite boring, would have loved to live nearer the town. And I hadn't even lived there to compare it with.
Now I live near London. Kids have busses, friends are all local. I have to drive them sometimes but they organise themselves generally. Think they would hate it if we moved and think we would notice the increased responsibility of getting them everywhere.

mumsnet is full of people talking as though moving teenagers to rural areas is a crime against their human rights. Personally I think a more important question is whether YOU the adults want to make the move.

I grew up in a small town in a rural area with most of my friends scattered around various villages and not even vaguely within walking distance or public transport. Yes there were a few years as a teenager where I needed a lot of lifts. My dad used to say he really enjoyed giving lifts as it was his one chance to properly catch up with us when we were that age! It was a fairly short phase though and I soon learnt to drive and then went off to uni. I stayed over at friends houses more than I might otherwise have done (which was fun) and definitely benefitted from larger ‘village’ houses and gardens to hang out in/ have parties in/ sleep over at.

My parents have lived happily in their house for 35 years and it suits them really well so - though I probably moaned a bit at the time - I really don’t think a few years of needing lifts a few times a week would or should have outweighed the importance of that to them. And yes I did appreciate and benefit from having a large bedroom and decent sized garden/ access to nice places to cycle, even as a teenager.

What do you see as the upsides, it’s not clear from your post. From a teen point of view there don’t seem to be any, but if you’re very overcrowded or live somewhere unsafe it could be a good move.

Just be prepared to be taxi, be open to doing it and do not complain about it. We live in a rural area and have to take and pick up from every thing, it is fine and our teens have loved living in a rural location. Eldest moved here when he was 10.

I think it all depends on whether you are prepared to be a taxi driver every day or not. The availability of local public transport plays a large part too. For instance, almost all the rural bus routes round here have been completely axed, and the few that do run are at stupid times of day, are of little practical use, and stop altogether after about 6pm.

The availability of local public transport plays a large part too

This - my parents wouldn't do taxi service for us and bus was once an hour starting at 8 finishing at 6.

So getting work was hard though did manage - brother walked and cycled to keep social life - DSis got lifts from friends parents and later friends- I couldn't do anything after school and rarely did social things.

I've lived in a city ever since- and bought my own DC up in city.

It could work and long term may suit you but will be an adjustment.

Bear in mind they are teens now, but will soon become young adults needing part-time jobs etc. A lot of those jobs have anti-public transport hours.

We thought about doing it at one point but the teens were so against it that we dropped it. It would have left them without any independence until they could drive.

Walking to things is a massive benefit for teens (and everyone). Family I know in village have teens who are online all the time because they can't walk to friends.

What are the upsides of the village? For the teens, town is much better.

1. Will the house you're looking at really improve your family life and be enough of a positive to make any negatives of the move worthwhile?

2. Will the lack of public transport and the amount of driving you may be required to do in future to facilitate your DC's lives be enough of a downside to outweigh the gain of moving?

Your DC will survive a move to a village! Many DC grow up in villages and are happy, but you need to weigh up the positives and negatives. You're the adults, it's your home and your money. Your DC won't live at home forever, so it really is your choice (as in, the adults).

I find the idea/ phrasing that you will be a ‘taxi service’ weird. Yes you’d hope that as a nice parent living in a village you’d try to be considerate about lifts but your child doesn’t just get to ‘book’ you whenever they like. Plus a car ride with a family member is a chance to chat and listen to music together.

my parents were definitely nice about giving me lifts when they could but it wasn’t all on my terms by any means. There were often compromises on timing or workarounds like me going back to a friend’s house straight from school so we could go to something together if I couldn’t get a lift. Or a lift to a town/ village that did have a better bus service/ train or whatever rather than all the way to and and from a party. I do remember all that kind of negotiation but I don’t remember ever missing an event or get together I wanted to go to. Where there’s a will there’s a way when you’re a teenager!

Also if things are ‘just about walkable’ as you say then would cycling more be an option?

Thanks for all the comments. The main benefit would be more space for everyone. I'll look into the bus timetable as I've not checked yet.

The more I think about what day to day would be like, I'm leaning towards the convenience factor of where we are now actually outweighs a bit more space. Perhaps we're better off waiting until they are older and can drive.

I'd wait til they have left home. I wouldn't want to be a taxi service to the detriment of any down time in the evenings.

What's the bus route like? I'm in a village that has a great bus service so can get to town very easily. The teens i know mostly take the bus so they can go with their mates.

What do your teens think? Would they rather have more space, or the current location? I grew up in a town where I could get myself everywhere and I am always grateful. Builds independence, allows them to get a job more easily.

What does more space actually give you in practical terms? Do you mean a bedroom each rather than sharing? Or just a bigger garden?

And how old are your kids?

For us I regret living where we do. One of my kids hates it and wishes we lived in town, the others are less bothered but still grumble. The public transport is rubbish here though and country lanes aren't really suitable for walking on. I dread to think how many miles I have done over the years taxi'ing them about. It is much better now the eldest can drive but that in itself is a huge expense.

One of them thinks it would be ok but would probably rather live in town, the other really isn't keen but potentially could leave to go to university next year

Honestly - I would'nt - I live in a Village where basically my children were born. It was OK in the years up to secondary school and then went pear shaped. They ended up in schools outside of the village so I had two 45 minute journeys each school day doing 'pickups' and then ended up being a taxi driver for the best part of ten years as their friends lived outside the village. Unless where you intend to live has good transport links - I would think again.

A friend did this and then the teens got part time jobs so was constantly being a taxi as bus finished early and too far to walk and too expensive to use cabs etc.