Should I ignore my urge to move?

[AmIJustOverthinking]

For the last two years I’ve had an increasing urge to relocate and I’m not sure if it’s just totally bats.

I live in the area I grew up in (and have only lived elsewhere for uni) which I think is part of it as I never thought I’d be the person to always live in the same place and I feel a bit bored of it all. It’s a nice (though famously unaffordable) part of the south east and I live in a fairly nice part of a small city, with kids in a local school where they are quite happy. Our house is an extended terrace and I loved it when we moved in - and now we’ve done a lot of work to it - but it’s on the small size and our garden is small for growing children (not big enough for football). My parents are a short drive away and see my kids a lot. I have friends from school in the area and a few mum friends though my closest friends are from uni and don’t live near.

So my urge is to move out of the southeast and out of the city to somewhere with more exciting countryside - mountains/ nearer the sea - and less of the southeast crowdedness and hype. We could get a much bigger house for our money/ bigger garden and I think it would be exciting to get to know a totally new area. My husband is open to the idea and it wouldn’t be that hard to move from a work point of view.

But is this just madness?? Has anyone got these same urges or has anyone done a move like this basically just because you want a change and did it work out well? Pros and cons???

As long as it will work with work etc, then I think I’d rather regret what I’ve done than regret what I haven’t.

I'd go on holiday where ever you are thinking of for a couple of weeks in the winter...and see how you go.

I live somewhere beautiful in summer and quite desirable as a place to live...and have seen many people fail the first winter test.

But yeah, why not? If you can find a good school and the work is moveable.

I’d consider the downsides of being more rural-very car reliant, your kids could have less independence/freedom, fewer jobs. And the appalling weather in the Uk. It sounds a bit idealised at the moment. And are your parents are the stage of needing some help, or will soon?!

These are things I do worry about a bit (my folks are early 70s)….but if I wait for the kids to leave home and for my parents to be dead (they are currently in good health) then that could well be twenty years and I’ll be approaching retirement….

Are you in Brighton? If so, would a move along the coast be a halfway house that would get you more space, yet be near enough to friends and family?

Be careful though that if you do end up moving back you'll be stuck in moving to a more expensive area. Unless you've got a plan for that...

Focus on changing your lifestyle to suit the new location first. A bigger garden is more work - do you have time/skills/inclination for that? Get an allotment and see if you do. Go for more countryside walks in the area you're looking to move to, as well as nearby. Think about what you'll need to change and how you'll change it in order to accommodate moving further away - visiting friends, relatives, favourite days out, etc. What are the schools like in your preferred location? How will you get to know the parents, become part of the community, etc?

We are moving to a new location in a few months and these are the things we've thought about, discussed, and made changes where required in order to be sure that this move is right for us. We're excited and happy about it, but we've worked hard to feel this level of confidence in the change. YMMV of course.

2 years ago I made that move - various reasons ( awful new neighbours)
life is for living - we moved and have met new people and done very different things. We used to live miles from the sea - now it’s 15 mins away.
some days I think we were crazy and that it is easier to stay with the status quo
BUT - it’s not a change you can’t undo and when I get to my last breath and look back I would rather think I did rather than I did not.

My approach to life is you only have one take at it so live it to the fullest.

Don’t live on regret and do it if you desire but plan it properly otherwise it can get expensive and depressing.

I have moved quite a bit as I get bored fairly quickly of a place however I wouldn’t uproot my life to move countryside though. After a couple of months it will get very lonely and depressing.
You don’t realise how much having a solid community around you is until you move and have to start from scratch.

What makes a place exciting is genuinely the community you have around you.

I remember moving to Leeds for work, I loved it so much until all the friends I had made moved away for work (they were consultants). It became lonely quick and really hard to build new friendships.
I say this to emphasise on community.

Think of the location properly- will it be a place you and your children will settle easily in and thrive
Plan a day or weekend stay to be sure it’s an area you’ll like to live in.

Think school - If you have a school in mind I will plan a day visit with my child to be sure they also will like it.

Think of commute - do you want to be somewhere so remote you and the kids have to constantly rely on a car?
It will be good to be somewhere with good public transport links.

Think money and have a plan- don’t be like me who moved to a big city staying in an airbnb for months before I found somewhere to live. Hindsight I should have found somewhere before moving. Wasted too much in airbnb.

But all in all yes! I will totally move if my location is no longer serving me.
Moving is exciting and can be great when planned and thought out properly.

Could you rent out your house and rent somewhere wherever you want to move to so that you are stuck not able to afford to move back if you don’t like the new place?

We moved six hours across the country, away from most of our family, to an area that we loved but know no-one. We moved 12 years ago.
there was no real reason to move, I just wanted something new.

every day I am so thankful that we made the move. It’s so beautiful here and it has been so refreshing being somewhere completely new. It’s our little corner of the world which we discovered and made home.

ive got itchy feet and we are planning to move in the next year or two, again no reason just fancy a different house/view/pub/walks etc. but we will definitely stay in this area.

we never regret moving.

Funnily enough we are going to have a short holiday one of the places we are thinking about next week. Not quite winter but I think the weather is likely to be pretty dreadful so next best thing! Will be a good reality check….

That’s such an inspiring story, thanks! I admire your bravery. But yes it’s that ‘refreshing to be somewhere new’
bit that I am really craving (I still drink in pubs I went in when I was aged 16, for example…..)

I think part of what me is pushing me away from where we are now is actually a bit of lack of community. There are people raising families here but also a lot that move out of the city when the children get a bit older or lots of people here for a few years for work. Maybe that isn’t uncommon and I do think I would miss having people I could go out for a drink with though….

Yeah good point….I tend to think of it as a bit irreversible but in reality we wouldn’t be stuck anywhere forever. And I agree very much with your last sentence!

I don't understand why you think it's madness?

Sounds very normal to me, I don't live in my home town and nor do most of my friends.

Love this response - this is where my head is at too! Want to make the move as life is too short but it is scary!

Haha this is a blast from the past! Well we did make the move almost exactly a year ago and I’m really glad we went for it. Not saying it’s all been plain sailing by any means but I don’t feel any regrets at all. @ManchesterMama1 good luck with the decision making process :-)

I want to do this!

Our youngest heads to uni in the autumn

Husband and I are seriously thinking about it 😊

Glad it went well 😊