Dd getting anxious over age and a first time buyer

[Woshe]

Dd is likely to buy her first flat with her boyfriend in the next year or two. This means she’ll be 26-27.

She’s getting anxious that she will have wasted 5 years of rent since she moved out. I try explaining to her that 26 is a young age to buy in London and she should chill out.

There is no set timescales, people are still travelling world at 26 while others are married with 3 kids and 4 bed detached home.

Is it a case of comparing herself or worried about buying in London? Does she plan on staying their long term or would rather rent a few more years and buy outside London.

Does she want to move home for a short while to save quicker? Sounds like a hint to me, one I'd support as a parent if possible

She hasn't wasted it - the rent she's paid/paying has provided her with a home. She hasn't had to pay to maintain it either.
Unless she was able to buy at a younger age and chose not to, then presumably she needed time to save, and meet her partner. Getting anxious over things that weren't possible in the first place is pointless.

The average age for first time buyers in the UK is 34. She’s well ahead of the game.

When did you buy? I think sometimes we can feel like we’re ‘failing’ if we aren’t hitting the same milestones as our parents at around the same times.

I’m 34 and have a standard family semi in the SE now but when I had my first DC at 30 (same age as my mum was) DH and I were living in a 2 bed basement flat in Croydon. My parents, by comparison, when I was born, were already in a 4 bed detached in Surrey. I felt a bit crap that despite both DH and I being higher earners (unlike my mum at least) we still couldn’t match them. I have friends who feel the same about age of marriage, having kids etc - it’s the old ‘god, by this age mum was doing X and here I am still doing Y’.

The main point of this obviously being that it’s a different generation and things are much, much harder for housing now.

She really shouldn’t rush into it. It’s silly buying if she thinks she’d move within a few years, you waste so much money moving. And id always want to advise caution buying with a partner, make sure everything is covered by thorough paperwork in case of a split, particularly when not married. Most people buy first time in their 30s. She should enjoy herself in her 20s

My parents bought when they got married at 21
I got my first flat at 30
My daughter will be lucky to ever own her own home

Stop fretting and stop voting Tory

My kids rent whilst at uni and afterwards! They didn’t buy until they were a little more settled in their careers and after some travelling. Your daughter needs to stop comparing herself and if I were here I would try to avoid the flat stage and go straight to buying a house even if that means moving back home for a few years.

It’s not wasted money when it’s provided her with somewhere to live. Also, renting is great for when life is fairly transient, as it for most people in their early-mid 20s e.g. uni halls, then sharing with uni mates, moving for your first job, perhaps taking a gap year, living with friends, moving in with a partner but wanting to test the waters first, going abroad for work, coming back, going travelling etc etc. Having flexible housing allows you to do all those things easily. Buying is great when you know you’re going to be a little more settled for at least the next few years. At 26-27 I’d say she’s on the younger side for thar these days.

She will still be earlier than most. There are also benefits to renting e.g. not having to do the maintenance yourself or pay for it, usually being able to live more centrally/nicer area than you can afford to buy, getting to know areas before you commit, making sure your relationship is right before you commit together.

Very few people will be in the fortunate position to be able to save enough for a deposit to purchase a home at that age. Does she not acknowledge that?

She sounds a bit out of touch and dare I say, entitled, to not grasp that. Her situation is very different from most people's reality.

I'd assume she's laying it on thick to get a hand with a deposit and I can only assume that you are pointing out the entirely irrelevant age of homeowners around her as a distraction tactic.

Totally agree with this - not sure why you’re posting as I’d be pointing out very clearly she’s unbelievably privileged to be doing able to buy in London at all, let alone at that young age.

I don’t know of any young people who think they ‘should’ be buying at 21 - they’ve been listening to the news for years which has a repeated narrative clear to anyone who listens that it’s much harder for the younger generations to get on the property ladder. Is she not aware of this?

Hardly wasted - I assume she was provided with a home in exchange for rent paid?

You both sound incredibly out of touch, or this is a humble brag.

I was 33 when I bought my first place in London...and that was ahead of a lot of my friends (am 40 and some still aren't on the ladder).

How is renting a waste of money?
Unless she has a massive deposit she is unlikely to have a smaller mortgage than her rent is/was.

Maybe I'm very privileged but I was travelling the world (after a very long time at Uni as I ending up doing 2 degrees) at her age and having fun.
Mortgages and settling down would have been too scary. I did meet my DH in my late twenties but we didn't buy together until we were in our thirties and ready to settle down.
I can't imagine anything worse myself! I loved living in rented places, but again maybe I'm privileged because I only had positive experiences.

I'd be more concerned she was rushing into buying with someone so young, she'd be better off buying her own place, enjoying her youth, and then moving in with someone.

London rents are 3-5% of market value vs 4-6% latest mortgage interest rates. Renting is currently cheaper than owning, even before the maintenance costs that are born by the owner!

I’d tell her to stop wasting time worrying about things she can’t change. Can she turn back the clock and be 22 again? No-just tell her to be glad she’s not 32.