Help! No idea where to move to…

[ThatNimbleOP]

Hello lovely mumsnetters,

My partner (31), myself (31) and our gorgeous 14 month old daughter are at a complete loss about where to move to. Short story, we are selling our flat in London. It was initially under offer in November but fell through so we lost the onward purchase we were making in Oxfordshire.

At the time we loved Oxfordshire (Cotswolds area) but now I’ve gone off it I think partly due to everything being dragged out for so long. We are now luckily under offer again but due to how long the whole process has been taking, we just cannot make a decision about where to go and what to buy. It’s almost like our minds are so oversaturated and burntout nothing is good enough…or maybe it just isn’t!

We’ve been looking all over the shop but thinking Oxfordshire, Northamptonshire or even Cambridgeshire.
Top line:

• I work in central London twice a week and my partner will as well, so we need somewhere with relatively okay links to London (maybe 1.5 hour max on the train)
• 3 bedrooms min
• Love the countryside but not sure about being too isolated
• Somewhere that’s good for kids activities wise
• Love art and music so somewhere with a good cultural scene would be great but not a dealbreaker
• £500k max budget for the right place

Do your magic! 😀 X

@Geneticsbunny didnt know the train was that quick from Sheffield?

Also my partner is a music teacher privately so would be looking for new students if we moved but keeping students in London at first

Even with twice a week in London, I'd be very careful about commute times. Make sure you look at what the door-to-door times would be. How long will it take you to get to your starting station, including the time to get parked up if necessary. Factor in costs of travelling to that station (parking, bus, tram, whatever). Consider if you might be driving to a station, does that station have limited parking that you'll need to arrive early to be sure of a space?

Critically, consider how regular trains are as well as the station-station time. Also check how many trains a day are running at the quoted times. If you just miss a train, do you want to be standing at the London station for 30 mins, 1 hour, 2 hours... waiting for the next train? Do you want to be stuck on the slow train that takes 3 hours because you missed the fast one?

Location Location Location always drives me nuts on this one - they'll quote "20 minutes into London" when you know that actual commute is likely to be well over an hour.

Personally I wouldn't want to do a 1.5 hour train time twice a week - especially not with children that you want to be home to see. I would try to keep 1.5 hours as your total max commute time. I'd start by figuring out which are the best London terminus/s to be travelling to that will minimise the onward tube journey. If you work nearer Paddington, don't move somewhere where trains will come into Kings Cross or Liverpool St.

@Tupster super helpful thank you. I should probably add that i have offices in oxford i can commute to as well, so that side does work well for trains from banbury etc :)

Partner is also looking to move work away from london. So i suppose eventually we might not need to go into London. But this is why it's so difficult because we will to start....so i guess we just need to think that any commuting times are temporary?

Would it make sense to rent the flat out for a year, move to the place we are thinking about and go from there? Just get worried house prices will continue to rise but suppose it's better then buying somewhere we regret!

I think that sounds smart given that you're so unsure where to move and could quite easily rethink when you're there. Then you'd have much clearer intell on what you do and don't like and what you really need to prioritise for purchase.

If you're working in Blackfriars you have a lot of options via Thameslink, both north and south of London. Agree with renting first if you aren't sure at all!

Apologies, my brain is full of cold today. I meant just over 2 hours so probably too far for you.

Sounds like you were probably looking in broadly the area for your needs then. If you're on those fast lines coming into Paddington, you're coming into the Elizabeth line, which will get you over to Farringdon, which is in the right ballpark for Blackfriars. And the Oxford area sounds good for your art/culture requirement. Maybe have a look of the areas south of Oxford and into Berkshire and Wiltshire within reach of the big stations.

Thank you everyone! I will be analysing the responses and seeing what we can afford 😀 plus looking into renting!

Come buy my house in village north of Oxford. Four stations with trains to London in 15 min drive. Commute is 50min on train plus London side. Lots of young families from London moved in since Covid. Great community spirit. Excellent schools catchment. Beautiful countryside but minutes to cultural Oxford.

There doesn't seem a real reason to move from your original plan other than you're fed up. And no offence to Northamptonshire but I'm not sure how it made the list alongside Oxfordshire and Cambridgeshire.

Is there anywhere that you know people? Friends or family? I would look to move somewhere where you have some relationships or connections if possible.

If you want Blackfriars have you looked at Bedford? St Albans prob too expensive but worth a look.

I only have family in Norfolk, partner is from abroad so neither works which is what I think I’m struggling with. We found some lovely villages around Culworth area in Northamptonshire which were nice 👍

Family and friends are also in London but priced out, friends in Bristol and Sheffield but too far! Wondering whether to explore Cambridge again as it is familiar ground.

I think if you are used to London you will find Northamptonshire a massive massive culture shock. Unless you are very old fashioned and don't like socialising.

Oh that’s interesting 🤨 I did wonder, the countryside was beautiful. Culworth had the new coffee shop so thought it was up and coming but perhaps not 😝

This is all great feedback 😀

Warwickshire any good, Kineton sort of way?

I don't have any suggestions as such OP tho there are some good ones here

There are also some unreasonable ones - a commute from York or Sheffield, lovely as those places are, to London on a twice-weekly basis is unfeasible; apart from anything else it would cost £££.

I very much agree with @Tupster that you need to look, not just at train commute but each end as well. I would consider a max of an hour on the actual train tbh.

I think if I wanted to live "occasional-commute"-able distance from London I might look at Leicester - but even that is 90 mins on the fast train. Housing is cheapish tho and IMO it is an underrated city.

Otherwise yy Oxford sounds like a great bet. Not so sure on the budget for housing tho.

Cambridge itself is quite expensive but you could look in the villages and commute from Royston or Ely.

I'd think carefully about childcare options especially for school age. Many villages won't have as much choice for wraparound/school holiday care as London and ime it's rare to have both parents juggling long commutes as train lines can be disrupted and dcs sometimes need to be collected early or at short notice. At primary age there can be concerts and sports days in the day, which won't necessarily coincide with wfh days too so a short commute makes it easier to take a half day.

@ThatNimbleOP I live in the midlands, lived in London and the south as a child and Bristol as an adult before that. It really is quite like going back in time travelling up the M5. Some of the Northamptonshire villages are pretty and have some nice pubs etc and people do relocate from London for convenience but it's a very sensible old school lifestyle.

I live in a not-really-commuter-town. It's 1 hr 5-10 on the train (broadly fine), but then you have to allow time to get to the station (for me that's 12 mins on a bike + enough time to not miss my train), plus travel on the other end (20 mins to Blackfriars for example).

That's an hour and 45 minutes. It's also the fast train, the slow train is another 20 minutes.

I usually get the 6:45, so for me that means being out the door at 6:25, and then I would be in work by about 8:15.

Let's say I'm then totally ruthless and leave at bang on 4:15. 4:35 back at the station. Next train not til 17:00. Back in local town 18:40, home by 7pm.

Now for me, a) leaving at 4:15 is likely not viable and b) even if I did I have still done a 13 hour day.

I don't mind going into London occasionally but for me even an hour ten on the train would be a life ruining commute 2 days week, especially if my partner was doing the other two days in London.

If you're used to London and partner is from abroad - I think a rural village in the sticks will be a shock. Especially since you like arts and culture and work in London. 2 days a week is still an onerous commute if it's multiple legs and unreliable train services + driving to a station if it's not walking distance.

What about the countryside would you like? Do you just want more space or are you all quite outdoorsy and want access to walks/hikes? If it's just more space, a smaller town or city could be a great option. If it's walks, you could still live in a town or city and drive to an area to do that. Village life is very different and not for everyone - so I'd think carefully why you would want it. And how much time you want to spend in your car driving to shops/cafes etc. And driving your kids/teenagers around too.

Chelmsford could be an option for your budget - direct train to Liverpool Street and culture/theatre/restaurants yet close to countryside and pretty villages for day trips. Also right direction to Norfolk for family. Or if your DH prefers west - than what about options on the Lizzie line out to Reading. Not sure if within budget as west is normally cheaper than east. I like Cambridge and Hitchin as they're lovely with enough to do, and services to London are fab - but they're a faff to get to west London.

*West normally pricier than east!