AIBU

[Winolicious]

Hi 👋🏻 been in my current house just over 4 years. To be fair, it was a desperation buy. To cut a long story short, sold our house but couldn’t find anything we wanted to buy or could afford to buy in time so moved in with relatives which was meant to be very short term but lasted 2 years! Was very stressful living with them latterly. Eventually found a house put in an offer which was accepted but then day before we were meant to move in it fell through!! Still with relatives found this house which I wasn’t keen on for various reasons, terrible parking, not a great area, and as it now turns out horrible neighbours to contend with. We moved in just before Covid so saw no one for two years. The house itself is nice but I just can’t settle here at all and it’s getting worse. I feel bad for feeling like this as we’ve been through a lot to get here. My OH knows I’m not happy here but his attitude is he can settle anywhere but I can’t. Am I being unreasonable to want to go through all the hassle of moving again? I thought this would be our last move 🙁

Yes they didn’t have planning permission and refused to take out an indemnity policy so we were advised to walk away. I have grown up children now they were still at school at the time.

Four years is a reasonable time to be in one place, especially if you're not happy.
What is stopping you moving again?

I suppose I don’t want all the stress again, but I don’t want to stay here I know that but OH isn’t keen on moving again even though he knows how much I don’t want to be here. We don’t need to worry about being near schools or anything as kids grown up now. I feel like I was being unreasonable. The longest I’ve stayed in a property is 10 years.

@Winolicious doesn't seem like you're being unreasonable at all. Why would your OH want you to be miserable?
Moving is stressful but if you can afford it then get the 'packing and moving' and even unpacking done for you, that lessens the stress. Then there's just looking for a new place to live, easy! :D
Where do you fancy moving to, anywhere were your OH will like more than where you are now? ;)

He doesn’t want me to be miserable but I think he’s so reluctant to go through all the stress again. It was really hard trying to find another house to buy and we lost out on quite a few at closing date. It got more deflating every time it happened. I have gave myself sometime to get over the “buyers remorse” but it’s never went away. He found this house and just wanted somewhere to live. If I could pick up the house and take it with me I would move it somewhere else. I told him we need to both want the house not just one or the other. I don’t think I’ve been unreasonable either just wanted to hear an unbiased opinion from someone I don’t know. Thanks!

You're not being unreasonable. And it's quite understandable to not want to go through another stressful move. But a move doesn't have to be stressful, well not overwhelmingly so. :)
God I hate horrible parking, someone always nicks 'your spot', we moved from terraced housing and now have a drive/garage and it's another world. Horrible neighbours might be anywhere, unfortunately. :(
Maybe you could concentrate on accentuating the positives of a move to the OH whilst saying you understand his reluctance, which you also have.
Is there anything that might make you enjoy living where you do now?

Thankyou! I When I came to view I didn’t want to offer on it and I didn’t have the “feels”. OH did want to offer and I know why because we’d just lost out on the house we did want and we needed to get a house of our own, couldn’t stay with relatives any longer as it was getting strained. It just felt all out of my control and my gut was screaming not to buy it. It is a lovely house, we do have a garage and drive but it’s a very small street and the parking is horrendous and the neighbours are very territorial! Like living in a goldfish bowl and very cliquey. Have had words with one of them. The rest dont look the road you walk apart from neighbours on either side of me but don’t see them much. They aren’t my concern to be fair. I think once we’ve tidied up what we have to do I’ll be accentuating the positives of a move even more and hopefully get the ball rolling for next year, thanks ☺️

@Winolicious don't mention the neighbourly 'words' to your solicitor when you sell! ;) Start looking now, see what's out there...get things 'moving'. Start to get the OH used to the idea that you are not going to stay where you are, remind him of the place you lost out on, that it was what you both wanted. Can't say I'd wait until next year, but patience isn't my forte when I've made my mind up that's it. Now is when I want to go, lol! Good luck, where (roughly) will you move to?

Wasn’t serious enough to mention to a solicitor, just some idiot trying to throw their weight around. We have the garden to sort out which will take some time and money so can’t do anything till that’s sorted. I’m a bit get things done now myself but can’t just now. As for where well that depends on what we can afford now with the mortgage rates shooting up. Selling has been quite stagnant not much for sale just now, the properties I see have been on for a while.

Ah, I meant don't mention 'awkward' neighbours in the bit of the docs that you fill in that goes to the buyer - can't remember their exact title. :) We've been here for 20 years and I've loved it, but I'd still move elsewhere, I've always wanted to live by the coast. No pleasing some folk, lol.
Well at least there will be some enjoyment in doing the garden when the weather brightens up. Start making a list/plan of any plants you want to take with you! :D Good luck.