Please help me make a plan, or tell me if you went through similar

[WhatAPickleThisIsAtXmas]

Hello, not sure where best to place this thread.

For context...I am a single parent to two boys, 9& 13, one with disabilities meaning I work only PT around him and school and in the evenings. We lived in a private rental for 9 years which we loved and worked so well for us. We left because LL kept telling me she was going to sell, wasn't sure when could be next month, could be next year and it was really destabilising. We were, and to a degree still are heartbroken. She didn't sell, she increased the rent by 70%. Moved into a flat, then that flat was sold, we're homeless, scrambled to buy a house on a low income scheme, bought our current house because it was there, its not in our old village and we now commute to school, no bus links and too far to walk. We moved in October 2023. The house needs huge amount of work, not just essentials such as roof, but cosmetically. I was so niave, and bought out of desperation not to be homeless any longer.

I have a career for which I have a masters but low confidence and so many issues to navigate in my personal life mean I'm probably not where I could be.

Anyway, we're in this house which has had issue after issue. I'm in debt due to having install a new bathroom as previous kept flooding. The roof leaks and today I'm waiting for a plumber as water from upstairs is flooding downstairs toilet.

Has anyone else been through this hell? Did you make a plan to sell? How did you generate money? I have none left. Would you repair drainage and roof and then try and sell? Did you buy a house with a low income scheme (I have full equity but 60% mortgage)? I need to earn more money, save, I don't know how to take a step forward.

I'm so sorry you are in this position, @WhatAPickleThisIsAtXmas . I have not had the same experiences a you, but do know what it's like to feel overwhelmed when there is so much to do to a property, not knowing whether you should sell up and start again, dealing with one issue after another and potentially running out of money.

If it were me, I would forget about selling and moving for now. If you sell in a weak market with lots of work needing to be done, you may struggle to sell and / or get significantly less than you paid for it. Your experience with the previous rented accommodation is in the past, so there's no point comparing your current house with that.

For now, I would forget the cosmetic stuff and focus on the roof and plumbing issues. Get some quotes so that you can see what you're up against. Is it possible that the leak from upstairs is due to the same issue that caused you to replace the bathroom? If the original fault was not fixed, you may have some comeback with the previous firm - but check the paperwork.

I would also focus on working to increase your earnings - it sounds as though there is scope for you to do so. Can you increase your hours or take on additional work? Do you have family who could mind the DC to enable you to do this? Could you buy a book to help you with your self esteem and work towards promotion? Do you have a network of people who could advise you? Careers counselling may be worthwhile if you can access that, or just talking through with a friend can help you gain some perspective.

Can you raise some money by selling things on Vinted or similar? Do you order things through cashback sites? Small amounts can build up over time. As a last resort, if you are in work, you might be able to get a loan / increase mortgage.

Thank you @ClematisBlue49, that's a really thoughtful reply.

I think you're right re trying not to think about selling right now, but I feel better for thinking about a plan, it's an escape maybe. I cannot wait to leave.

I'm going to look around for other jobs, I don't think I can increase my hours in my current role because I already decreased them twice, and now I'm fulfilling my role in PT hours, so more difficult to sell myself. I could bring it up to my line manager and at least try.

I'm sorry you have low confidence but you actually sound like you're doing amazing - you've managed to gain a Masters, you've bought a house, you're raising two children by yourself.

I'm sure when the plumbing is sorted you'll feel a bit better. It's overwhelming when things go wrong with a house and you start questioning your choices, especially if you're the only adult. My only advice would be that if you have any spare time at all, even just a few minutes, watch YouTube tutorials or Instagram reels and you can pick up DIY tips. Then it may help you decide which things you might actually be capable of doing yourself and which really need tradespeople to do, quite often if you work through DIY methodically it's not as difficult as it first seems.

My husband reduced his hours then wanted to increase them again for mainly financial reasons. He told his line manager that he was struggling to get all the work done in the time he had so felt he needed to increase his hours again. It worked in his case so possibly worth a try?

Better to make it sound like you want to increase your hours for the sake of the business rather than for personal reasons.

Sorry you’re going through all this stress btw. You did the right thing with the bathroom if it was flooding all the time.

One thing you could do is learn to tackle some basic DIY - particularly plumbing- which could make you feel much more in control. If you understand your house, it's much easier to do small repairs yourself, or even just know how to temporarily prevent a leak (for instance) while you wait for professional help. i
YouTube videos are absolutely amazing for finding really knowledgeable people talking you through doing all kinds of DIY jobs. You might find if you feel like you aren't overwhelmed by the house, you actually are much happier living there.