Selling my house is making me remember our ridiculous seller

[nightnightcircus]

Or rather the seller’s partner who didn’t actually own the house. No real purpose to this thread - I’m just sounding off. We’re selling our house and it’s made me remember how she behaved when we bought.

They’d got quite far along with their sale and purchase, then lost their previous buyer. We got almost everything done in just 7 weeks thanks to a really good solicitor we’re using again. We just had to wait up to 5 working days (not a long time, not an unexplained delay) while he requested lifetime ISA funds, which you can’t do too early as there’s a time limit to complete once you have them.

At this point, the seller’s partner lost it and started phoning the EA every day asking why we hadn’t exchanged. Instead of managing her expectations (he knew a LISA was involved from the start!) the EA kept calling me to say she kept calling him. It later turned out he’d been bugging our solicitor as well.

Both the solicitor and my dad said: don’t be intimidated, you’re not delaying unreasonably and they won’t exchange any faster if they have to get a new buyer.

Went for a pre-exchange viewing. The seller’s partner (who, to repeat, didn’t actually own the house) was there and was really weird and shitty. Started telling us she’d bought and sold lots of houses over the years and never asked to view again before exchange, and it was obviously a silly FTB thing.

Then she complained about how she’d wanted to exchange the previous month (which the EA never mentioned and which was wildly unrealistic), her husband would now struggle to get time off to move and she’d only accepted our offer because the EA said we were already quite far into the process (not how conveyancing works). To FTBs who’d arrived in time to save their onward purchase and were ready to exchange in under 2 months! From someone who had apparently bought and sold loads of properties. And who didn’t even own the bloody house!

I let her make me feel really bad and looking back I wish I hadn’t. And don’t even get me started on the EA.

Here’s hoping we get to deal with more reasonable people this time around!

Why do you keep saying she didn't own the house? It was her marital home?

No, it wasn’t! They weren’t married. She’d sold her house and moved in with him. They were now selling his house. She had no legal interest in the property.

It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t her legal property - if she lived there and her ability to move hinged on the sale of it she’d be just as stressed! She does sound as though the stress really got to her but tbh EAs and solicitors deal with that constantly and should mediate and keep you from most of it. It’s their job to keep everything as calm as possible to protect the transaction. It sounds as though you slightly resent her for having any emotional investment just because it wasn’t her direct asset.

I resent her for being really unreasonable and having a go at me after we’d proceeded at the speed of light.

I won’t be treating my buyer like that.

But my point is: she wasnt the person selling, I’m not convinced the EA should even have been dealing with her!

I’ve bought and sold lots of houses too and have never either conducted or entertained a pre exchange viewing. In my experience FTBs (not all, obviously) can be self-absorbed with no sense of the impact of their delays on the rest of the chain.

Your opinion of the stresses that buyers can put sellers through may change once you’ve been through it a couple of times.

Not sure why people are being so picky about ownership but yep - she sounds like a nightmare!

Many years ago I’ve been that person, selling a house my husband owned in his name only. I’m also selling at the moment to a couple although he’s buying the house in his name only, and most of our dealings have been with her rather than him. It’s perfectly usual to deal with both people in the relationship even if the contract is only with one party.

We were not self-absorbed or delaying anything. We had been very quick.

I will be viewing any house I buy before exchange to check it’s all ok, given house purchases are buyer beware. My buyer is welcome to do similar.

Edit: I suppose you could say we were delaying a wildly unrealistic timeline that nobody had mentioned and which would have been impossible.

Yes I’ve heard it’s a “thing” to do it, but in my mind it assumes a massive lack of trust or some sort of weird belief that the sellers are going to do something heinous post all the previous viewings and survey, etc - which to me seems verging on paranoid. I’ve never come across it personally.

We're about to buy our fourth property and will be having a pre exchange viewing - I want to get measured up for some furniture as we have some large pieces that if can't come through doors/ windows etc will have to be sold or given away.

Also our last purchase fell into the 'nutty vendor who tried to fuck us over on the fixtures and fittings' category so you bet your arse I'll be having another look round.

When I was a FTB I was actually far too naive about the process and thought that everyone in the chain was just doing their best and wanted to sell their house, when in reality there was an awful lot of damp patches covered up, rot in the loft and unclear boundary disputes which took years to clear up once we'd bought.

I'll also admit to moving a bit of furniture to cover a pretty big crack in the wall pre survey, so I know of what I speak!

There had been several massive storms. We would’ve been mad not to see it again.

Also you’re spending hundreds of thousands on something sold as seen!

You see I think this shows naivety - as though these houses could fall down in an instant. There are massive storms every year - and as a house owner you deal with it. It wouldn’t cross my mind that I’d need to check my house pre exchange in case a massive storm had.. dislodged some roof tiles..?

Also what if - god forbid 😛 - there was a massive storm between exchange and completion!

I’ve never hid cracks, or dicked people over on F&F - or had it done to me - so maybe I’m lucky. My ex husband did always have an amusing story about the first house he ever bought which was an ex council property - when they turned up to move in the owners had taken the lightbulbs, the actual toilet and.. the driveway with them. I still fail to see how you could be sure this wouldn’t happen between exchange and completion so perhaps I just can’t see the point!

@Alchemistress I do understand measuring up viewings, but have never linked that to being prior to exchange - it’s just something I’ve done once the sale is fairly advanced and is nothing to do with ‘buyer beware’.

She sounds like a nightmare but I am the parter of the person who own the property I live in (I moved in after he already owned it) and I am dealing with the EA's solicitors on both our behalf as frankly he's crap at this sort of thing and I'm not. Didn't think it was weird!

I always hear that ftb are self absorbed, but honestly isn't everyone in the process self-absorbed?!

You could argue that sellers wanting ftb to move faster than they feel comfortable doing (because they need more time and support to do something nerve wracking that they have never done before) is pretty self absorbed too! No-one actually tells a ftb what the process is, so I think a bit of them muddling through is to be expected. Plus, you only need to spend 5 mins on this board to see how many different opionion there are about the "right way" to sell a house.

I wonder whether the root cause is the common saying that a ftb is a quick process. Quicker than a complicated chain, sure but it still takes time

@nightnightcircus I don't understand why you're getting such a hard time on this thread- your behaviour sounds totally normal and I think a lot of sellers are pretty unreasonable. You're making a huge purchase, and it's unreasonably to want to see the house before exchange? Why would buyers trust sellers they've potentially never met before?

It sounds like she had really unrealistic expectations. 8-9 weeks to exchange is pretty quick in my understanding!

I would have been really tempted to remind the EA that she had no interest in the property and you would only deal with queries from the actual seller!

@ibelieveinmirrorballs I think it is you that is coming across as naive. Just because you haven't been stung doesn't mean it doesn't happen and it is naive to think so.

Massive storms could have uprooted trees and there could be serious damage. Even without massive storms it is reasonable before purchasing a massive debt because that's what you'll be stuck with, to check it as late as possible.

Issues like bad mould and damp that were covered by lick of paint 3 months ago can be revealed

House buying is supposed to be a little of a gamble as possible.

By contrast, I think there’s a “naive vs paranoid” continuum and I’m quite happy with my position on that continuum.

@ibelieveinmirrorballs
By contrast, I think there’s a “naive vs paranoid” continuum and I’m quite happy with my position on that continuum.

Agreed. And a single visit just prior to sale is safely nowhere near paranoid 😌

May I just ask how long is the delay or obstructions when you invest in a LISA please

I also didn't think pre-exchange viewings were a thing! We're in the process of buying a house and will arrange a final viewing between exchange and completion to do some measuring. I wouldn't do that just before exchange - we've viewed the house twice and had a level 3 survey done, which we were happy with, so there's no need.

I do think your seller was rude and unpleasant though, OP!

There wasn’t a delay or an obstruction. It took 5 working days to process the request and another 3 to receive the money after exchange.

Last time I bought about 6 years ago I was advised by my solicitor to do a pre exchange final viewing and my daughter was advised the same by her solicitor 2 years ago (different areas & I'm not a FTB). It seems to be a thing now and it is sensible, in my opinion.

Sounds a frustrating experience @nightnightcircus at least you will be a nicer Seller