Advice Needed - House on Busy Road

[EEvermore]

Looking for advice on my current situation which I am finding very hard to deal with.

DH and I are in our late 20s and have just bought our first home together in a UK city. For the past 5 years, we had been renting a flat from DH's parents. It was a great flat (quiet area, lovely interior) however it was small and we were ready to have our own house with a garden.

I'd been browsing RightMove for YEARS (I love looking at houses), but we properly began our house search in August/September 2023. We viewed a few places, but either were too expensive or needed too much work. Roll around October 2023, and up pops our house. At first glance, everything about it was perfect. It is a 1900's 3-bed victorian terraced house with newly renovated bathroom and kitchen, and beautiful period features. It was exactly what we had been looking for - I couldn't have dreamed it better myself - with the one disadvantage that it is located on a fairly busy B-road within the city (30 mph but often cars go faster).

Even though we both had fallen in love with the house after the first viewing, I remained cautious about the busy road. We went back for a second viewing, and I carefully listened to the traffic noises this time, but it really did not seem so bad and I came out feeling overall very positive about the house.

After that second viewing, things moved very quickly as the then-owner had offers in already and the house was going to a rapid closing date. I was away travelling with work at this point, so in haste my DH put in an offer (higher than I would have to be honest) - about 7% over the home report value.

We obviously got the house, and officially moved out of our flat and into the house about two/three weeks ago. The whole time we were moving, I kept having this niggle at the back of mind about the busy road, but the excitement and stress of redecorating and moving kind of pushed that away.

Now that we have been living here properly for a few weeks, the dust has settled and the busy road is really starting to grate on me. There is a constant stream of traffic between 7am - 10pm. It does quieten somewhat in the nighttime though - there is only maybe 1 or 2 cars going past every minute or so.

For most of the day, the traffic is a constant noise wherever you are in the house. For the first few days I tried to ignore it by having the TV on in the background, or playing music, but a few weeks in and I'm getting tired of having things running all the time to cover up the noise. I am originally from a small countryside village and love peace and quiet so this is less than ideal.

Our living room, bedroom and my home office are all located in the front of the house and therefore receive the worst of the traffic noise. Even as I type this right now, there are cars whooshing past. There are about 12 yards between the road and our front door, and thankfully we have a very high (8 foot) hedge in the front garden which blocks out a lot of the traffic from view in the living room, although you can still hear it. Our bedroom and my office though have a clear view straight down to the road, and there is nothing that has worked to completely get rid of the noise or the view of cars.

I am really starting to resent buying this house, and we have only been here a few weeks! DH says he is not bothered by the road or traffic at all, and we are starting to have arguments about this and the decision we made to buy this house. More than my hate of the traffic is my fear of how this issue will affect DH and I’s relationship. I really have tried since we moved in to ignore it, but with every passing day it seems to be all I can focus on. I am trying to tell myself that we couldn't have afforded a house this nice if it wasn't on this busy road (the same house for 1 or 2 streets back go for 50-100k more). But overall we have spent so much money in buying this house, paying the moving fees, and then another good couple of thousands in decorating (plastering, paint, windows, carpets).

I can't help but feel that this should be the most happy and exciting time for us, yet this road is ruining everything.

I feel very alone in this situation, and I have no one apart from DH to speak to about this. Any advice or messages would be very welcome (even if it's just telling me to get over myself!). Thank you.

Can you plant some kid of fir or other dense conifer between you and the road? We are one street back from an A road which is supposed to have a strictly enforced speed when passing through the residential area, but really doesn't. We have a border of firs along the side of the property that faces the A road and they absorb quite a bit of the sound.

I know you said you have a hedge but 8' might not be high enough to do the trick.

I have a similar situation, and the traffic has got worse over the years we've been here. But it's clear we'd have got a lot less house in a quieter road, so I try to think well how much would lack of space etc have bothered me there, and I'd be unaware of the lack of noise - it would just be normal. So I really think you'd fixate on whatever the issue is, if you have to make compromises in the house you buy. Most people do, unless you're very wealthy. I'd have a clear plan for how you will move on in say 5 years, overpaying or salary increases. In the meantime I think you will get used to it but need to give it more time. And focus on the good bits

What advice do you think there could be?
The options are presumably to get used to it, or move?
I lived in a completely non soundproofed downstairs flat and the upstairs noise hugely impacted my mental health, got rid of the flat.

Do you have decent double glazing it makes a massive difference?

Yes, the windows are fairly new and double glazed.

You've only been in a short time so this is peak buyer's regret period. It's normal - no house is perfect!

Also, buying a first house is a learning experience in what works for you.

In your position, I would start doing a lot of research into soundproofing, and other ways to make the house comfortable for you. And start making long term plans about your next house.

I honestly don't know. I just feel so terrible and regretful about this whole situation, it's really eating me up.

This is your first house and it doesn't have to be your forever house. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Review the plans in couple of years, no point of arguing with your DH. If I was you I would stay put for couple of years as it's not financially sound to move it right now given the money you have spent. also looks at positive points of the house and if you're only considering negatives all the time , it wont do any good.

Hi @EEvermore I lived in a house on a busy road (A road 40mph speed limit and the road wasn't in great condition so lorries particularly clanked along it). I now live in a house with a train track and station at the end of the garden so I might not be as bothered by noise as you but I can certainly sympathise.

In our old house what made the most difference in noise levels was changing the windows and having acoustic glass in the front ones, we had the front door refurbished as well. You say it's a 1900s house, are the windows original? Noise, like drafts comes in through the cracks so also carpet or thick rugs in your main areas facing the road and plenty of soft furnishings to absorb the noise will help.

Because you've become more conscious of it you will be really tuned into it and as a result it will sound louder and more persistent which might be why it's not bothering your dh as much as he isn't. If I noticed the road noise and tuned into it I would try to actively listen for something else, really focus on the radio or another noise I could hear in the house and it does help.

More drastically is there any possibilities for altering the layout to utilise the areas at the back more?

Look at secondary double glazing for the front windows. A larger gap makes an enormous difference to sound.

I am very sensitive to noise, and I had secondary double glazing put into in a bedroom when we lived in London, after I had been to a meeting near Heathrow where you couldn’t hear the planes even though you could virtually see the passengers. It was bliss.

I'd say give it time and you will get used to it. This time of year it's louder when the ground is wet. I made a similar move and got used to it!

Seconding the good double glazing suggestions - we're on a main road and you can barely hear it in the front living room as the glazing's good. I view it as the trade off we made for a nicer house than we'd have afforded without the main road (and we wouldn't have got one as architecturally lovely because the nice big Edwardian houses are only on the main roads here).

It got very annoying recently when we had a mahoosive pothole appear outside - along with the collection of dislodged wheel trims we acquired at that point, but we all reported it and the council have now fixed it which has reduced that thunk-thunk down.

Your house sounds very similar to mine. Old, thick original stoneware, sitting on a busy road, with consistent traffic throughout the full day. We have quite a weird set-up - a large, private back garden next to a side road, which is noticeably quieter than the front of the house, where our living room and bedroom are. Houses on the side road were all considerably more expensive than ours.
It took a few months, but you do get used to the traffic noises and drown it out. I barely notice it now. For us, everything else that came with the house made the traffic noise worth tolerating, now it’s totally fine.

Triple glazing would help expensive but depends how much this sound effects you. Plus check your door is not warped if wooden etc letting sound in anywhere.

As others say, give it time. We live on a busy rural road, 30 mph but lots of people speed. With the addition of a hump in the road nearby which makes lorries rattle. We’ve been here many years and really don’t notice it at all despite a bedroom at the front and I often have the window open in summer.

I’d say set yourself a deadline of say 6 months, try really hard to forget the road for that time and rethink. You will likely not be worried by then.

I use to live by a motorway and for the first 4 years it drove me insane! 😄 Even the birds use to sing that much louder just to hear one another. However, eventually I totally clocked out to the noise and actually use to find the hum at night quite soothing.

I now live in a quieter area in a tiny terrace with very noisy neighbours… I long for the days of the traffic noise and would give anything to go back there.

You have all my sympathy. I live somewhere where the noisiest thing I hear is the cows farting, so the idea if living on a busy main road would grate on me, as it does on you.

The problem here is that it has got under your skin. Once something gets there it is very difficult to shift it, and it looms larger than maybe it objectively should. It is playing on your mind.

I am not sure how you might solve this. I can see your OH's POV - you have only just moved and have committed a lot of time, effort and money into it and I can see he might be more than a little pissed off by finding himself in a position of having a wife who is feeling fed up with the choice.

I guess you have to bite the bullet, stay put and see if you become inured to it, whilst at the same time putting in all the reasonable sound-proofing measures you can find. If in a year or so you still feel unhappy then maybe the discussion could be resurrected on the grounds that you have given it a reasonable go, but are still not happy.

I am sorry that you find yourself in this situation.

I had this issue and after 6 years here I am finally moving out of this house to one in a much quieter area. My current house is lovely but I do think it was a mistake buying it as I never got used to the noise. Because I knew I wanted to leave I also didn't want to spend too much on it, so I got secondary glazing put in but nothing else. You obviously don't want to argue with your DH but your feeling is that you hate the noise and you're unlikely to get used to it. These are the facts about how you feel and you need to be able to calmly express that and know that your DH hears and understands you. You need to invest in sound proofing and you need a plan to move to a quieter area if you don't "get used to it" following that.

I bought a house 2 years ago,similar situation to yours,and the 1st night in bed,I cried myself to sleep because I knew I'd made a mistake.
We are back on the market,and struggling to sell because of noise from the road
I am devastated and depressed.

I’ve done the same, had to sit it out 2 years until mortgage was up and then sold up. Drove me insane. We ended up living in the back portion of the house.

Also, your DH might feel guilty because he put in a higher offer without discussing it with you and without taking proper account of your concerns. I find it a bit baffling that that happened tbh, with such a huge purchase and decision, that you weren't properly consulting with each other. Is that the elephant in the room that is contributing to extra tension and needs to be resolved?

Loop earplugs
Secondary glazing
More soft furnishings?

As pp.have said, you really really need specialty windows rather than ordinary double-glazing. Obviously has its limits in summer, so any chance you can reconfigure room usage, at least for the bedroom? I'd also look into putting an actual acoustic protection wall in front of the hedge, but no idea about planning permissions and cost - normally when they're installed anywhere it's by way of mitigation in the course of public works.

I lived in a shared property and my back windows had Tube last stop underneath, literally the trains were behind our small garden gate.
The trains were noisy, this was Northern line and at night there were cleaners cleaning the trains, singing, shouting etc.
I thought I would never get used to it, but after few weeks I didn’t even notice and when a front room facing the quieter road became available I declined as I loved the tube noises.
And I’m someone who absolutely hates noise and I sleep with earplugs now, but I didn’t have those when I was living there.

It's a tough one.
I rented a flat in East London, many years ago. The road was horrific.

If it bothers you that much, you need to think about how you can get round this. Move? Double glazing? You may get used to it eventually. Does the noise stop you working?

Good luck OP.
The thing is, does the " perfect" house exist? There's always going to be something not right.