Have I left it too late to leave London?

[Lessismore12]

Eldest is in Year 5. House is bursting at the seams (Victorian terrace) despite us extending into the loft. We are East London based and cannot afford to go up the next rung of the ladder in our current area or further out e.g. Woodford/Buckhurst Hill/Loughton/Chingford. So now I am thinking it would make sense to move out-out rather than to try and make do in an area that I’m not keen on. I’m originally from the North and know a better standard of living can be found outside the M25, but DH and the kids have only ever lived in London and our eldest would be so sad to leave. I’m less worried about the younger 2, but wonder whether the window of opportunity has now passed? I would feel so sad about staying in our current home, but would do so if it meant the stability was best for the kids.

Any thoughts? Thank you.

We moved across the country when our eldest was in year six, she settled really well.

No, but get your skates on, as the deadline for secondary school applications is Halloween year 6 so you'll want to know where you're living by then! Good luck x

@Twoshoesnewshoes Really? That’s encouraging to hear! What helped her settle in?

@Brownhairdontcare Thank you. Yes I feel like time is running out fast.

I moved from a northern city to the rural south west in the middle of year 6. I settled. It was fine. If it would make a difference to your family’s quality of life then do not let the age of your children stop you. It will be harder once the eldest is getting towards exam years.

Why would it be too late? We moved halfway across the world when my child was in year 6.

I would only move if there is a place you actively want to move to, maybe because you have friends and family there, or you know and love the area. If your husband and children are happy where they are, and you already have a house, it would take more than a bigger house to make me risk a move to a completely different type of area.

If the secondary schools aren't at capacity where you are looking at moving to then there's no rush. We were well after school application cut off and could have chosen any local comp if DS hadn't got into grammar.

I moved my 4 when they were 14 down to 7 from south to north and then back to a different south 3 years later.

It was a needs must situation both times and I didn’t consider them too much in the equation. I did work really hard to sort out the schools and made sure they could study the subjects they wanted.

You can absolutely do this.

How many bedrooms in your house? Are you happy with school options where you are?

It's a very new notion that a typical Victorian terraced house is too small for a fairly average sized family.

Why do you feel you are bursting at the seams? Genuinely curious as I brought up my family in an unextended Victorian terrace as did everyone else on my street up until about 15 years ago.

Good point. If the eldest is only 9 or 10 then surely same sex siblings can share?

@LindorDoubleChoc So I grew up in a Victorian house too; however the difference with our current home are that the rooms are much smaller. We lived in a 1-bed Victorian conversion flat in Stoke Newington before moving to our current home and found that we could not fit our sofa from the flat in this house as one example. I love Victorian houses but the proportions of the rooms in our current home are too small.

@TheYearOfSmallThings Fair point. I can only see us moving to an area that is closer to my family and old schoolfriends. I’m not brave enough to start all over again in a new place.

@AvengedQuince @Brodpit @MikeWozniaksMohawk thanks for sharing your positive stories. It gives me hope.

I know a few people who moved out of London in Y5 and start of Y6. All settled well, especially as there was a natural transition and break up of friendship groups as where we were children went to lots of different secondaries.

We moved (just to a different part of London) with kids in year 5 and year 7 - it was very painful to uproot them, hadn't really expected it to be quite to hard on them. Year 5 DS wanted to do all the "leavers" things at the primary he'd been to all his life and DD had just started secondary and was making new friends. With hindsight, I wish we'd moved sooner

That said, now 4 years later, everyone is well settled and happy. But it wasn't easy at the start, with the age of DC. If you want to do it, sooner rather than later would be the way to go, in my opinion - it definitely won't get easier as they get older

London is an excellent place to live with teenagers, as the public transport means they can be independent and make the most of the various opportunities there. If you move, make sure it isn't to somewhere where you'll have to be the family taxi - you won't manage it with 3 dc. Of course other cities can have good public transport too.