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Original poster

Tell me I'm not alone

18 replies

Mumtobe2023 · 07/01/2024 12:02

So myself and my husband have lived just on the out skirts of a small town for the last 5 years. Modern 5 bedroom house. Mum and dad live 10 mins up the road. His dad lives 20 mins up the road. There is a farm house not far from his dad's, for sale that requires a lot of work doing to it. It's do able and we have worked it out financially, but the house is in the sticks. Quite literally. Why am I finding it hard to have the idea of moving from our home? Tell me it is something I'll snap out of? I suppose its natural because this was our first home together and our 11 month old daughters first home. The idea of being anywhere else but here breaks my heart! And I love having neighbours and houses around me!

Tell me I'm not alone in this feeling and has anyone else felt like this and never had regret/looked back?

OP posts:
TheSlantedOwl · 07/01/2024 12:03

Sounds like you don’t want to move, for good reasons, and you’re being pressurised into it. You can’t spin that to yourself as anything else. Sorry OP.

Candleabra · 07/01/2024 12:04

If you’re happy where you are why wouldn’t you feel heartbroken at the thought of moving?
What is the catalyst for wanting the farmhouse - is it your husband pushing this?

RandomMess · 07/01/2024 12:06

Why do you want to live in the sticks?

Never bumping into folk in the street to chat, nowhere walkable. Having to drive to do anything get anything any sort of human contact, the ball ache of strapping DC into the car.

School runs and activities tie you to driving, seriously when teens it's hideous.

uhOhOP · 07/01/2024 12:06

Do you need to snap out of it? You don't have to leave your current home, do you? Or do you?

Cosywintertime · 07/01/2024 12:08

It’s not really clear, is it your husband wants to move and you don’t? Or are you literally saying you never wish to move again as this was your babies first home, as that’s kind of odd to be honest.

Persipan · 07/01/2024 12:45

Who wants to move to the farmhouse and why? I'm not really getting what the draw is.

PossumintheHouse · 07/01/2024 12:47

I don’t get it. What reason do you have to move?! You have a five-bedroom house that you already love. Why buy a rundown farmhouse that needs a shit ton of work done to it, especially in this climate?

Avacardo2023 · 07/01/2024 14:47

Why would you move? Sounds like a terrible idea. I'd stay put if I was you.

BlueMongoose · 07/01/2024 14:52

If you really like having neighbours, then that may be problem.
What's the reasons for moving? Space you can't get locally any other way?

mondaytosunday · 07/01/2024 14:57

What about schooling? Think ahead a few years.

Chewbecca · 07/01/2024 15:27

You haven’t given any reasons in favour of the move - what are they?

Twiglets1 · 07/01/2024 17:46

TheSlantedOwl · 07/01/2024 12:03

Sounds like you don’t want to move, for good reasons, and you’re being pressurised into it. You can’t spin that to yourself as anything else. Sorry OP.

I agree. I would hate to live in the sticks myself so feel concerned that @Mumtobe2023 is being pressured to buy a property that does not appeal to them.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 07/01/2024 17:51

Why ?

Can you afford to buy / run cars for every member of your family including your child/children when they are old enough to drive.

As you are all going to need cars if in the sticks.

Do you actually want to live in a property that needs so much work doing to it ? Can you afford to have all the work done instantly upon moving in ?

Seeingadistance · 07/01/2024 17:58

What are the reasons for even thinking about this move?

It doesn't really seem to make any sense at all - you're only minutes away from family at the moment, in a large, modern house in an area that works for you. Why move less than 30 minutes away to an area that doesn't work for you and into a house which needs a lot of work done at a time when it is costing a fortune to renovate houses, never mind even finding trades to do the work?

TipsySquirrel · 07/01/2024 18:17

I’ve recently moved from a semi-rural property that needed work, not a farm house so not as rural as that, to a modern-ish estate house. We have a toddler.

One of the main reasons we moved was because we didn’t want to be so isolated with a child. We weren’t in a school catchment, despite there being two in our village. They were both on the other side of the village and even if we could get a space at one of those schools we wouldn’t be able to walk to school.

We were close to the train station but had to cross a busy and fast road to get to it. Even if our child is sensible as a teenager, we don’t want them crossing it. Especially with the rise of electric vehicles that are much quieter than other cars. They wouldn’t be able to walk to their friends. We would have to drive them to friends, drive them to whatever activity they were doing on the weekend. Even drive them to secondary school or walk with them, which they would obviously hate.

Where we are now, we are a short walk from the school and many of their friends will live on the estate. It will be possible to walk to friends, have them over for tea. When they’re a teenager they’ll be able to walk to the train station without crossing any busy roads and go to whatever activity they are doing. Also trying to decorate with a small child is really hard. For certain things they can “help” but that will take a lot longer. There are certain things that can’t be done with a small child and so one of you will watch the baby while one of you works on the house.

It doesn’t sound like you want to move but whoever is forcing the issue needs to realise you have a baby now and as lovely as putting your own stamp on an idyllic, rural farmhouse sounds, it’s not the most practical with a baby.

RandomUsernameHere · 07/01/2024 18:24

"Requires a lot of work doing" and "in the sticks" would make it an absolute no go for me. Don't be pressurised into moving if you're not keen.

Edwardandtubbs · 07/01/2024 18:26

Um, living in the sticks is fabulous - not bumping into people for a chat is a huge attraction! Plus it is pitch black and silent all night… However, it is not for everyone. And taking on a doer upper right now is a huge challenge. Don’t move if you don’t want to. But living in the middle of nowhere isn’t automatically terrible folks!

RandomMess · 07/01/2024 18:37

@Edwardandtubbs its definitely not for everyone and the OP didn't seem to be the sort of person that wants to live a remote and reclusive lifestyle.

I think a lot of people love the idea but don't think through the reality.

Pitch black, no noisy neighbours - wonderful to me however country roads in winter and farm smells less so 🤣🤣🤣

No the DC can all drive it does have a strong pull but I'd be buying a 4 wheel drive as I live somewhere very hilly and cold and wet.

I had 4 DC and hates the faff of getting them all in and out the car drove me nuts, I walked as much as possible.

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