Getting a cleaner in a small house

[botswana]

We have a tiny workers cottage. It’s barely 50msq. I’m a (junior) doctor who works long shifts and dh is in an office job but works at home a lot.

We rent and spend about £1,500 a month out of a post tax income of £5,000. DH does not clean. I always do the cleaning. We have a robo vac to do the hoovering. But the bathroom and kitchen always end up gross.

I want a cleaner maybe 2 hours a week just to dust and empty the dishwasher if it’s full/or load it. Or maybe strip the bed and put on to wash.

DH refuses. I think it’s worth it to come back to a lovely clean house.!

There's two of you and you can't run your own dishwasher and wash your own sheets? Make a rota instead of getting a cleaner.

DH does not clean.
DH refuses.
Nah. If DH does not clean he does not get to refuse. You can have a cleaner for any reason you like as long as you can pay for one OP.

Go for it. You can afford it. Id dh doesn't agree get the cleaner on your weeks and he does his weeks.

Why doesn't your DH do 50% of the cleaning rather than doing nothing? Surely he could manage to empty the dishwasher and change the bedding? They're hardly onerous tasks.

What's the problem with getting a cleaner? People are allowed to outsource work if it suits them.

Rubbish. Get a cleaner, well worth it.

Just get a cleaner. Honestly, you won't regret it. If cleaning isn't your thing, why spend time doing it?

Our house is about 70sqm and we have a cleaner come for 2 hours a fortnight. Ours does the kitchen, bathroom, floors and dusting but not the dishwasher or change the bedding - tbh having a cleaner has made us more on it about keeping on top of the dishes ourselves! I’d go for it in your shoes because it’s not that big of an expense relative to your income and will lead to a big increase in quality of life (IME). But you do need to talk to your DH about pulling his weight too. If he were single would he just live in a grimy pit?

Get the cleaner!!! It is so nice to come back to a clean house.

Get a cleaner. I also live in a small property and its so so worth it when working long hours.

You are not being unreasonable.

Your DH is an arse. How dare he even have an opinion if he doesn't lift a finger himself. He is happy to misogynistically expect you to do all the cleaning but he wants to be sure you are doing it yourself rather than delegating it to someone with more time? Or does he just want no one to do it, and to live in dirt and grime??

What would be really cool would be to find a cleaner willing to cooperate with this - for their first 3 visits they clean eaxactly half of the sink, leaving the other half grimy. Half the bath, half the stovetop etc etc. Because the other half is DH's responsibility. He won't do it obviously but the ever increasing difference should hopefully shame him into agreeing that the cleaner is a good idea.

Obviously that might be too much effort but definitely go ahead and book the cleaner. But make sure the cost is coming from communal funds not your own personal money.

Get a cleaner and get your partner to pay half.

If he doesn’t want to clean then he has to make the house be clean with money.

Get a cleaner, if you find the right cleaner it ll be worth it, best money spent.

Having a cleaner wasn't the thing done in my family, I come from a humble family and hiring help wasn't the done thing. So in spite of working long hours, having children and earning plenty of money to pay for help , it took me a long time to decide to get a cleaner. I felt like a should be able to do it all , I didn't want to "waste money" , was I being lazy? , what would my extended family think etc

Dont get me wrong I still tidy and organize the house but my cleaner has saved me hours of my /our free time. I look at it as an investment.

For me it means, more quality time, less resentment, and it is such a great feeling coming home to a clean house
My regret is not getting a cleaner earlier.

Resentment is like poison for a relationship. If you do most of the housework it 'll be likely to creep out.
Tell your husband to have a trial for a month or 6 weeks, he 'll get on board.

Definitely get one. You don't need permission.

Get a cleaner - you won't look back!

If he wants a clean house, he cannot have both scenarios, and make you do the work.

I'd say trial having a cleaner for 3 months, and then reassess.

You're the one doing the cleaning or at least responsible for it by the sounds of it so you can organise a cleaner. Your DH has got a bloody cheek!

Get a cleaner