To move further out to get more space and a mortgage or stay renting

[Goldfishonabike]

That’s the question. Live in a Northern European country, in the capital, in a lovey neighborhood, it’s quite special in that it’s just 3.5 kilometers from the center of the city, with great transport connections, yet it’s quiet and leafy and almost like a village feel. The neighborhood is hugely sought after. The snag is, we are in a 2 bed rental flat, and have been here since we moved here from London 4.5 years ago. Kids are now 9 and 7, and are sharing a room, which is also DH’s home office (he frequently works from home and due to his profession, has quite a if set-up). We truly love the neighborhood and have made friends here, plus, we love the school the kids are in, which is just 10 mins down the road on bike, but I am panicking for two reasons: we’re now soon mid 40ies and still renting, with the only opportunity to get long term stable economy being getting a mortgage and paying it off, as house prices are very reliable and steadily increasing in this country. So worried for our long term financial stability if we stay renters. The second reason I’m panicking is that I think the kids need separate rooms, they’re boy and girl and DD is the oldest, so soon I think she’ll really need her own room.

But with our income level, we can’t afford even a shoebox in this neighborhood. To buy, we’d have to move at least 5 kilometers out, to afford something like a semi detached 3 bedroom house or a decent size flat. Kids could stay in their school no problem, but instead of biking to school (with us atm) they’d have to be taken by car, or when older, going by train by themselves. And the neighborhood would be less charming, we’d loose the network we have here, plus my commute would increase as I work in center of town. I’m finding it really hard to balance our needs and make a decision. What do you think?

It’s obvious you need to move further out so you can afford a bigger place because as you say, the children will soon need separate bedrooms. So whether you buy a place or rent, you will need to move further out either way.

I don’t see why you would lose your network by moving just a few km further out. It’s close enough to keep existing friends and make new friends also. And yes you will have a slightly worse commute but not a horribly long one.

I think you know the answer, you just don’t want to give up your current lifestyle. But it’s inevitable that you will have to do so because you can’t afford to stay living so centrally as your family’s needs change. You’re not young and carefree anymore you have dependents so that does limit your choices I’m afraid.

Honestly I think your long term financial security needs to take priority. Your daughter will need her own room. Ultimately both children will be able to retain friendship groups as they can stay at the same school. The distance involved is negligible really so even your friendship and support network should be easily maintained. Good luck OP but financial security must prioritise everything and who knows as equity increases and perhaps financual circumstances improve perhaps you will be able to afford to move back in the future.

I know you’re right, I just love where we are so much…and before living here we moved around lots, also between countries, so generally just not
loving the idea of uprooting again. But know we likely have to

Is staying where you are and buying something to rent out an option? If you are in a country where renting is more stable than the UK, I’d stay put TBH. There’s no replacement for loving where you live- home is more than having separate bedrooms.

In your case, assuming you live somewhere renting is a more stable option than in the UK, the sole deal breaker for me would be the rooms issue. You really have to get separate rooms for your kids, there's no other option.

If it's any consolation I know couples whose kids have flown the nest who are now downsizing and moving back into the centre of our city, so the door doesn't have to be closed forever.