Can't get excited about new home!

[pillof]

There's another thread about keeping a lid on excitement but I think I've gone the other way! We're getting very close to exchange but I've been so braced for disappointment, I'm no longer looking forward to it.

The house itself is fantastic, location great, everything really good. I'm not worried about moving. I'm not worried about whether the house is right – I know it is.

I'm a first time buyer and while we've been very lucky that everything has been pretty quick and straightforward, it's still been stressful. Since making the offer, I've found myself feeling really unsettled and lacking confidence, in general. I don't feel like myself. Life has been on hold.

My partner is extremely busy with work so I've handled pretty much everything by myself. So much worry about making the right decisions, worrying whether I've missed anything vital, whether I've asked the right questions. If mistakes are made, it's all on me.

I go on Pinterest to try to drum up my excitement but it's just not there! The idea of actually owning a house – that house – feels totally abstract. Even though it's nearby so I often walk past it. It just looks like a nice house, with a sold sign outside. It feels like it has nothing to do with me, and all this stress and admin has no connection to anything tangible.

I used to get so excited daydreaming about actually owning a house, but now it's like I can't even access that. I'm generally a cheerful person who is genuinely grateful for things in life! So it's weird to feel this way. Is it just stress?

You seem to be putting way too much store against this house

what about just relegating it down the list of things you’re thinking about and not beating yourself up for not being super excited about?!

I find when buying houses go through phases, stress, ambition for what I'll do with it, obsessive plotting about costings, depression, wanting to walk away, hugging myself with inner excitement.....I suspect you are just very tired, and feeling a bit jaded about the process, with is stressful and drawn-out at the best of times. Especially as you've been taking most of the strain. And when you have planned, and if you're at all like me, overplanned, it can feel a bit damp-squib-like when it finally happens. Almost like it's happening to someone else.

What you're feeling all sounds very normal to me. When you're in, it's yours, and have a few good nights' sleep under your belt and start to put your things in and make it yours, I suspect you'll begin to feel a lot more positive. But for some of us it can take longer, so don't expect too much of yourself too soon. There is no 'ought' about how you feel, how you feel is how you feel. Give it time.