Please tell me I won't regret moving to Winchester!

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DH and I are fairly sure we are going to a move to Winchester with our young baby. We are coming from a vibrant, diverse city. We live pretty centrally in a buzzy, multicultural area that we love. We make the most of city life and have made a lot of friends since having our baby. Really the only reason we are moving is to be close to family (my parents are brilliant and will be very involved) but Winchester probably isn't somewhere we'd have chosen otherwise. SW London would have been more ideal but really not within our budget. We did look at Southampton and Portsmouth but weren't too fond of either. We think Winchester is beautiful and we love the history but we know it is quite small, not very (at all?) diverse and definitely not buzzy. Will we regret moving there? Will we find it cliquey and hard to fit in? Please tell me wonderful things about Winchester as I really do want to love it ...

Sorry - I was a bit rude. I agree it does have lovely bits and the common is great.

I think the difference for me is there is no lovely waterfront in Southampton as it’s so industrial, vs the great prom and greenery and castle and model village etc in southse

As a SAHM there is plenty to do, there is a facebook page called Boo & Mummy which lists all the things going on for baby’s and preschoolers each week so might be worth following that to see what’s going on. There are several
small theatres in Winchester that run things for kids and you have things like the Christmas market, the fireworks with torch parade, events at the cathedral, the hat fair etc. you’re also able to get into London, go to the beach, visit the new forest and Oxford all pretty easily.

We’ve moved here from a city and yes it’s quieter and there isn’t as much going on but we also made the decision for family reasons and for me it’s been worth giving up the buzz of the big city to be closer to family.

@Biscuithelp No, I’m probably just a bit defensive! As I said, I’ve lived here for a very long time and I’m rather fond of this city. Also, and especially with working in Winchester, I’m just used to standing up for Southampton a little bit. I agree with you about the Southsea waterfront and I do go there frequently 😊

I lived in Winchester for two years in 2014/6. My then teenage Dd went to the big sixth form college Peter Simmons and she had a really great time.

We lived walking distance to the town. It has a massive one way system to get around the town centre and it can be a mare, but is probably no worst than most.

Im obviously older than you but I liked it. It felt very safe and I would have no problems walking alone at night. It had plenty of really nice restaurants and pubs and bars and feels nice and buzzy in that way.

The shops are the usual for a place this size, the Laura Ashley, M&S, etc, but the big Debenhams has closed down. It had a big pedestrian area which has a street market weekly I think.

If I were to go back I would choose to live on the outskirts with a bigger house, garden and more immediate green spaces.

It really depends what you are looking for. Like you availability to family would be high on my list. It is a ‘nice’ place, so I’m guessing the schools would be reasonable. I would say it’s similar to Salisbury.

I know nothing about mum groups, but I think it would be a nice, safe place to raise children. And don’t forget you can always move again after a few years if you hate it. House prices are expensive in Winchester, which sort of tells you that people like it for a reason.

Let’s just say it’s definitely not a “yobby” place.

I have lived in Winchester, Southampton, Southsea and Netley Abbey, and am now in between Southampton and Portsmouth.

I think Winchester is not as nice as it used to be and agree that it's very quiet.

I wouldn't live in Southampton, I get a sinking feeling every time we go in to the city.

I love Southsea and would love to live there maybe one day. We are very happy where we are at mo. Southsea has so much going on. There's tons of bars, coffee shops, restaurants etc and loads of kids stuff too.

We moved to Winchester having spent my whole life in London.
It’s a fabulous place to raise kids, the aforementioned boo and mummy was a lifesaver in finding out what was going on pre covid and I’m delighted it is still running and helping the current parents of pre schoolers.
We have some ethnically diverse friends and I can’t go in to the high street without meeting people I know. People are really kind and generous here. I think it’s a case of you get out what you put in.
I have to go back to London to see family occasionally and am always happy to get back to Winchester and way from the noise and chaos of London.
There are lots of tourists and students which is good for the shops that remain, however you do need to go to Southampton or Basingstoke for really shopping choices. Tonight I believe there is a procession of hundreds of people carrying torches up the high street to the north walls Rec for the bonfire celebrations - we never had that in London. It really is a lovely community.

Good luck!

It’s extremely genteel in a strangely middle class middle aged suburban and unsophisticated way. If John Lewis built towns, this would be it.

Thanks @HappyMarriage, @Isheabastard and @Loveswinch (reassuring username!) these posts have made me feel a bit more positive again. Will have to check out that facebook page. I have accepted I won’t get a ‘buzz’ in Winchester and one of my bigger remaining worries is not making any friends and everyone being incredibly posh! Reassured by your posts. I wish we could rent for a bit first to find our feet with less pressure but the rental market looks tough and we have cats so probably not a goer.

“We have some ethnically diverse friends.”

No words, but tells you everything.

Winchester is lovely but I wouldn't call it buzzy or multicultural.

Winchester is like a big market town, it’s nice if you like that and will bore you shitless if you don’t.

From the pleasure you describe in living in London, I don’t think you will. Have you considered giving that a go for a bit longer? There are areas with 3 beds in your budget with good schools as PP said. Or go the other way to Bristol.

It’s nice to have family help obviously, but moving to a market town as a city person is a huge sacrifice to make. People do manage fine without parental help.

At the least I would rent for a year so you can easily go back.

Quite…

Another one to push for Southsea! Lots to do with a baby, loss of baby groups and family friendly cafes plus the beach and the common. We moved out as our kids got older as we wanted a bigger garden, but I still miss Southsea. It’s fab for a night out too (when you get one!)

London isn’t actually where we are now. Would love to be there but not sure we can make the finances work. It’s tricky to know where to start and I’m worried we’ll get
it wrong in terms of schools, crime, pollution levels and plane noise… but if we could make it work it’d obviously be ideal. DH grew up in London and is all for this move but I’m not sure he has a true grasp of what day to day life will be like … I grew up in the middle of nowhere and would have thought Winchester to be seriously cool and busy if I’d known it when I was young so I’m surprised at my feelings now. On the flip side though, having the family support would be really amazing. So tricky! I started this thread hoping there was a whole other side to Winchester I’d not seen but not sure this is going to be the case …

I’m definitely going to look into Southsea though if I (and more pressingly DH!) can get over the increased travel time to London. I know the sea front is lovely but I thought the area itself was a bit studenty and run down. Google maps has been pleasantly reassuring!

The PP who cited Laura Ashley amongst the shops hasn't been there in a while; it's been gone a couple of years. There really is nothing much except coffee shops and the odd clothes shop. It's nice enough in the centre, but like any large town it's got its problems. There's lots to do if you have a child, less for just adults. Lots of gyms. Awful traffic. If I had a free choice, I'd be near the sea in south sea.

I live near Winchester and go there (and Southampton) often. I think it’s a great place for families. It’s not buzzy and edgy. It’s nice and clean and very middle class. If I have to pick between Highfield and Winchester, I will pick the later. I used to live in Highfield in my 20s.

You didn’t say if you drive. But if you do, you aren’t limited to what’s within walkable distance in the city.

I don’t know if the Winchester schools are ethically diverse. I’m not white. Winchester does not make me feel uncomfortable if that helps? The majority of children in DC school are white british, but there are quite a few Chinese and South Asians too.

I know Wincheser, Portsmouth and Southampton pretty well - I live in the New Forest, so I am not biased through residency in any of them. Of the three I would pick Portsmouth and perhaps more specifically Southsea. There is more to Portsmouth than meets the eye, and its a has greater diversity and is 'buzzier' than staid old Winchester. Dh and I refer to the residents of Winchester as being "of the Winchester persuasion" as they can appear quite self satisfied and up themselves.

That said, I know Southampton best of all and it's not a write off. There is the MAST theatre which hosts the fringe theatre productions (I recently saw Kafka's 'Metamorphosis' there) and the Harbour Lights Cinema for instance. All three places will have positives but Winchester would be my third choice!

@NarrowGate

Yup. Pretty much.
It doesn’t have the diversity of Hackney where I went to school, but nowadays I just want quietness so it works for me here. I would have hated it in my younger, more outgoing days though.

You could buy in Brockley/ Sydenham etc for that kind of price. My in laws live in Winchester- good schools but vv dull.

Well, I think the downsides of Winchester have been covered, can I list some plus points for balance? It's safe, friendly, really excellent schools, lovely countryside nearby, lots of good cafes and restaurants, easy drive to seaside, easy train to London, loads of mother/baby activities, lots of sports clubs etc for older kids. Not everyone is posh/middle class/middle aged etc etc. The whole area is (slowly) becoming more ethnically diverse. I moved here 10 years ago to be closer to family and really haven't met many people who I would describe as "self satisfied and up themselves". Mainly just nice, normal friendly folk who have chosen to move here to raise a family; I don't know anyone who has changed their minds and move away again. Obviously it's down to personal preference - I'm quite happy to get my buzz in small bursts by meeting friends in London then hoping on the train back home again, and that isn't going to suit everyone! If you love city life then you really need a proper-sized city, and that's not going to be Winchester. Best just to spend some time here and see what you think? Happy to help with info on schools/areas etc if it comes to that! The biggest downside as far as I'm concerned is the totally ridiculous house prices...

W@appleapplepearpear I would take SW London (Wimbledon/Putney) & planes over Winchester. I like to visit for the day, but wouldn't choose to live there.

i wouldn't live in Southampton, it's dodgy not edgy!!

i wish I had £850k to find a nice wee place in Putney. I moved away to buy a house. Deep regret.

I enjoyed visiting Winchester, the cathedral is magnificent. But the traffic!! I don’t think I’ve ever disliked driving anywhere as much, and that’s saying something. I wouldn’t like to live there.

And yes, with your budget I would also choose SW London.

I find the on the one way system in Winchester you keep moving. The worst place for traffic is Southampton particularly trying to cross from east to west or vice versa. You draw the short straw at the numerous traffic lights and wait for ever.
People complaining about the "self satisfied and up themselves" in Winchester should try the little strip at the end of Stockbridge Road near the station. There's a nice cafe, you've got the skateboard shop, the tattooist, a venerable boozer on the corner and a vape shop round the corner.
I do think though that the housing is very expensive and agree with ops that op could afford somewhere in London. I wouldn't dream of Southampton with that budget.