Should I stay or should I go

[ChubbyForensics]

We bought a large 5 bed 3 bath house 4 years ago. It needs approximately £100k spending on it to do the roof the walls bathrooms kitchen, floors and garden.

We live in it as it is but in the older part it is harsh in the winter and feels as though there is a window open all the time due to the roof and ceilings. We went through lockdown here we have plenty of space it has wooden beams etc.

It is not a comfortable home to live in yet. Do we persevere and keep trying to do it up? We both work full time with below average salaries and don't really want to borrow more money to do it up. I need to bleach the walls to reduce mould, run a dehumidifier and mop up puddles on the floor and window sills from the leaks

I have 2 children age 17 and 18 who are both now needing counselling and one has been suicidal

If we moved to a smaller house we could be mortgage free and have much smaller bills freeing up our income for days and meals out gym memberships and holidays. We could have newer cars ours are 14 and 18 years old!

Also we could provide more financial support to our children if they go to university and they could have a potentially happier life

So my question is should we give up on this house and move to a warm insulated easy to live in home?

In a similar "love it or list it" situation.

But with your DC and financial situation, I would downsize as easily and quickly as possible.

I would definitely off load it, bleaching walls to remove mould and being freezing all the time sounds miserable. Get a smaller more manageable house and get on with living life and helping your kids.

Given that you don't have the cash to do the renovations needed - and I understand you don't want to borrow more. I'd say you'd be better off downsizing.
Make sure you market the property suitably and don't hide the things that need to be done up. Sounds like the house is sizeable so some one with deeper pockets than you is likely to be willing to take on a project.

Life is for living - not for drowning under a too large mortgage! Downsize and enjoy the extra available spending!

Move

Move…with the cost of building work these days, if you did do the work, then decided to move, you’d be lucky to recoup the cost.

Your post doesn't list any reasons why you want to stay, only reasons why you don't. That's your answer.

Thanks for your responses, it makes the decision to move much easier as we feel very committed to the house and couldn't see past that.
But with the cost of everything increasing especially the heating bills and food our disposable income has reduced over time despite us working full time with pay increases. Council tax is high too.
I'm sure it will free up a lot of emotional energy as I am constantly thinking about what the house needs.

You only have so much time, money & energy.

Big project houses suck all 3 out of you.