House/repair anxiety

[SucreCannelle]

Not sure if this is the right place to post but I always turn to reading Mumsnet when I need an answer and figured I’d post.

We moved into our flat just over a year ago and since then with renos it’s been one step forward, two steps back. Every little thing we try to fix snowballs into something bigger and more expensive. It’s like we can’t catch a break and now im afraid of every little sound the house makes wondering what will break next.

We tried to level our washing machine and ended up drilling into a water pipe causing water damage so now I have anxiety about anything with water. We had a boiler service/radiator install quote apt today which turned into needing a new boiler and likely having to lift the newly installed floor because the pipes are too far/uneven from the wall.

Now I can’t sleep thinking that the pipes have moved too much under the floor and it’s gonna leak everywhere once we install the radiators again (they’ve been off the wall since we moved in- had to replaster entire room/ceiling). I’m kicking myself we didn’t get them re-installed and running when the floor was all open but we didn’t think about it at the time and they were there before (not moved them) so we didn’t think it was gonna be an issue. Does it get better? How do you stop worrying that everything will go wrong? Am I not just cut out for home ownership? DP doesn’t get that this stuff keeps me up at night.

I sympathise. Move into a new flat in August and I've already spent thousands on things I didn't know needed to be done.
Tried to increase the water pressure in the boiler but got the wrong pipe and then the pipe started dripping and I had to call an emergency plumber who then serviced the boiler and said it had been badly installed and that I needed to get a new one as it is was dangerous. The stopcock didn't stop the water so had to get that replaced too. So that's £3000+ that I didn't know I was spending in the first two months! I've already run out of money so everything else will have to wait.
I am nostalgic for the days when my amazing landlady used to fix everything and it cost me nothing!

I mean, this is just home ownership. Sorry. Things break all the time. The only solution is to get more zen about it.

I think renting for our generation is so crappy we have fetishied homeownership as a "dream" when in fact it is often one long expensive exercise in stopping the bloodly place from falling apart!

Take a breath, learn to live with the less urgent stuff and develop a good book of tradesmen.

You are discovering the downside of home ownership, but it does sound as though you have been especially unfortunate in a short space of time. I'm sure things will get better for you, and you'll love having your own place that you can put your own stamp on.

The downside of renting is that, unlike the PP with the amazing landlady, very often it's hard to get someone to fix things properly or quickly. When you own, at least you know you can take charge of things and get it done, and choose who does the work.

Hang in there, and best of luck to you in your new home.

Are you sure the boiler needs to be replaced? How old is it? It's always worth getting a second opinion as plumbers can vary.

thank you! We did get another guy around and it sounds like the first guys were trying it on. One thing they said was broken was confirmed as perfectly fine by another gas engineer but the boiler does need to be replaced sooner than later but we can at least keep it on until we change it. It is 8 years old, so far from new. Finding trustworthy tradesmen has been harder than expected but we’ll get through it.

Thank you for the encouragement. I think it just got really overwhelming and we might have bitten off more than we can chew with this place and we’ll have to take it one day at a time.