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Property/DIY

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Original poster

If you moved town/village/city….

16 replies

Explodingheademoji · 15/10/2023 17:03

How long did it take you to settle in your new area?

We moved about 80 miles 6 months ago and I feel so homesick, debating accepting it’s been a costly mistake and planning to move back. New area is better on paper, but just missing home and feeling pretty awful most days, unsure how long to try and stick this out for before calling it quits.

We are a family of 4 with 2 primary school aged kids.

OP posts:

fedupandstuck · 15/10/2023 17:06

What is it that is making you feel awful on a daily basis? Is it that everything is unfamiliar? Or that there is something specific missing that you now realise was really important to you?

Hearmenow23 · 15/10/2023 17:10

Been 3 years and it's very nice here, but it's not for me or dh luckily. 2 dc very happy and safe, so we'll wait for them to finish school in 5 years and then move on. I must say that after this amount of time we do feel settled as such. People say it takes 2 years and I definitely agree. We moved for the dc so we have achieved our aim.

Hearmenow23 · 15/10/2023 17:11

Also we would never move back, but do feel nostalgic a lot of the time.

SuddenlyOld · 15/10/2023 17:12

I moved 300 miles and didn't stop calling newcastle 'home' for a few years. Hated the new town but I stayed for 10 years due to work then moved to a better city 60 miles away and it felt like home before I'd actually moved there. Been here 10 years now and it still feels like home. I'm not sure how I'd have felt if I'd moved here in the first place but I think I would have still settled quickly

caringcarer · 15/10/2023 17:13

I moved away to go to University and then after graduation found a job and made my life in that area. I had lots of friends there. I met my dh there. My DC was born there. I just moved out to a nice leafy large village outside of the city after DC was born. It's easy to get back into the city on a train. I go back home to my birth town about 3 or 4 times a year to see my sister's. My parents have both passed away. When they were alive I travelled back to visit them about 6 times each year. I like my new home and wouldn't want to move back to my birth town. It's too quiet and slow a way of life for me now.

caringcarer · 15/10/2023 17:13

OP, have you made friends in your new area. If not that is what would be good for you to do.

TizerorFizz · 15/10/2023 17:16

In most areas you have to make an effort to start again. We joined in with events in the village hall. Helped out with setting things up too. Attended quiz night etc. Always went to things at school. Invited Dc round to play. Joined pta. Join anything that floats your boat. Sport, pub, church, walking group, clubs. Anything to meet people. Also definitely evaluate what you miss. If it’s not working by next spring, I’d try and go back but are Dc up for yet another move? Very disruptive for them.

Ragwort · 15/10/2023 17:17

We've moved every ten years ... a couple of hundred miles each time .. personally I find it very easy to settle in a new area, I am very happy to meet new people, join things etc. I actually quite enjoy the process .. it's good to have new opportunities & meet new people ....we've been in the current place for twelve years + now and I would be very happy to move again but DH, who took longer to settle initially, really likes it here now!

Hiddendoor · 15/10/2023 17:39

We moved almost a year ago. I've had a rough time with work which took up a lot of mental energy so I'm not as settled as I thought.

Kids are settled in school which is the main thing. Have new friends and still in touch with old friends, have activities they enjoy.

We are only just beginning to put our mark on the house though, which I hope will help with it feeling like home. DH has plans, I just want to enjoy finally waking up and not stressing each morning!

DH and I haven't made new friends here though, but I wasn't expecting to! We enjoy the facilities in the new town and aren't that far from friends so it really is just a case of making the house our home now.

I don't miss our old house, not really.

Trampley · 15/10/2023 17:47

7 months in the new place for me and it doesn't remotely feel like home yet!

Will give it 2 years. If I still feel the same, I'll think about moving again...

ButDaddyILoveHim · 15/10/2023 17:58

We moved just over 2 years ago, to a small town 70 miles from 'home', and it was only this summer that I started to feel settled. We knew nobody here at all, new jobs for both of us etc, so it has been a big adjustment, and we definitely underestimated just how big! I've made an effort to throw myself into meeting people, though, and it has started to pay off. I do think it takes longer than you ever think it will.

Having said that, if we won the lottery next week we'd probably move back. Our new home/area has a !ot going for it but we really only moved here because we were priced out of where I grew up (London).

Original poster

Explodingheademoji · 15/10/2023 18:11

I think I’m really missing being somewhere familiar, in terms of people and places. I just feel really disconnected here. I think it’s probably not helped by the fact that my working hours/pattern make it really difficult to get involved in stuff. Realising in hindsight how comfortable I was in our previous town and just generally missing that feeling.

OP posts:

Hearmenow23 · 15/10/2023 18:27

We've had a massive culture shock going from city to a tiny remote village and its not for us at all. I feel really trapped and vulnerable being away from all amenities. Its not a nice feeling at all. We left everyone behind but it's nice when people visit.

TizerorFizz · 15/10/2023 21:06

DH and me were just talking yesterday that only 4 couples/people in our hamlet have been here longer than us. Not a single person was born here. Some are close behind in terms of time in residence but families move here for the great countryside and the quiet life! We moved here because it was handy for both work places. We have had to use the cars for everything though. Except going for walks and very local events. We have no street lighting, mains drainage or gas. No school either. Or shop. Or pub. Or bus. I’d like more when we eventually move. It’s not that far from London but feels rural. (Until HS2 stormed into our lives that is!)

NosnowontheScottishhills · 15/10/2023 22:08

I moved from rural England to very rural Scotland and loved it instantly I felt within a few days that I’d finally come “home”. I have little or no desire to cross the boarder and on the rare occasions I do can’t wait to go home.
But having said this I think 6 months isn’t long especially if your “working patterns” make it difficult for you to get involved in stuff although it may be even harder in the winter. I am not a big joiner in but am generally a pretty friendly sort of person and have a dog so have met lots of fellow dog walkers, I have made a big effort to make friends and it’s paid off. There are activities in my tiny village that are not for me but I do attend the village fete/dog show use the shop. I don’t have school age children which I think is another way to meet people.
I have moved quite a lot in the past and again met people through dog walking and by being friendly especially with other dog walkers.
You don’t say if you’re in a city town village or hamlet. Do you have a hobby/interest that would facilitate you meeting someone work allowing or could you take up a new hobby? I have recently taken up one not something I would normally think of doing but I was persuaded by a friend to go and enjoyed it more than I thought and have met more people.
Also are you generally a friendly out going type of person prepared to make an extra effort to get to know people or more reserved? Neither one is better than the other but you’re going to struggle to make friends if it’s the latter.

Pamcakey · 16/10/2023 06:42

I’m another who felt instantly settled.
Even when we viewed the property, I felt I was coming home.

I’m not the most sociable person but quickly made friends due to a mutual hobby, our neighbour welcomed us with open arms and helped get us involved in village activities and that’s helped us make friends too.

Despite actually having a fairly tough time since moving here (massive unexpected bereavement 6 weeks after moving), life is just better here. The only thing I miss is my old job - I’ve just started doing the same thing here but the shifts aren’t as good which frustrates me but it’s doable!

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