Which house and which school?

[wherethewildtbingsgo]

I'm tying myself in knots here trying to make a decision about our new house and our daughters' school. It feels like such a huge decision to make to decide where we are going to be for the next ten years during primary and also choose the house at the same time! Please help!

We currently live in the middle of a lovely and smart town with lots of amenities and schools close by. We live in a beautiful terrace with original features but it has no garden and it's also on a lot of floors which means it's not always that practical with small DC. Both me and DH a work from home with occasional office trips so being close to a station is nice but not essential currently.

We've seen a lovely house in a village about 10-15 minutes from here. It's detached with four bedrooms. Some things about it aren't perfect eg you have to access the garden up a small number of steps and we would want to do a small side return extension to get a bit more kitchen space. The village has a pub and a school but nothing else. Short drive of 5 minutes to a shop and a station. Village is in beautiful countryside and the house is at the lower end of our budget so we wouldn't be totally overstretched buying it. As it's such a small village there are likely to be a few families but not many. The school is small too but very nurturing- about 10-15 in each year group.

Second houses (there are two in the same area) are closer to town and on a train line. They are also walking distance to a pub and a school. The catchment school is another great school but significantly larger- two classes of 30 in reception so 60 in total per year at least. The houses we have seen there are good but again not perfect. They both have direct access to the garden which is good but they are a lot more expensive (think 100k) more expensive because one of them needs work and the other is already "done". The area is very family friendly and well established. Also nice countryside but less of it and less attractive. Financially we could afford it but it would be tight and particularly with an extra potential maternity leave.

I'm beside myself trying to decide as it feels like such an enormous decision. Either a little village in countryside with a very small school in a pretty house but that isn't perfect but it's much cheaper.

Or

A village closer to town on a Trainline with a less pretty house close to a school but school much larger (good and bad) and house more expensive but (as with all houses) also not perfect

Visit the schools.
See what they feel like.
Look at the children's faces, do they look happy, alert, engaged?

If the school is the right place for your children to be, you can make the rest work.

Although, my presumption would alwys be in favour of feeling more financilly comfortable: it make life safer, and more relaxed.

Keep looking... you don't sound happy with either house yet.

Schools... small vs average size vs large all have their pros and cons. Have you considered wrap around care? Extra curricular stuff?
Also Secondary school... seems ages away at the moment but it comes around quickly.

(FWIW... we chose less pretty with bigger primary school but better public transport options for the kids to get some independence... they were 8&9 though!)

Thanks for your reply.

We've seen both the schools but they are so different it's almost impossible to compare! The bigger one is in a modern building with lots of clubs and opportunities and a focus on sport but with large classes and fewer school trips and a slightly more traditional approach. Kids looked happy enough although some bored faces I suppose. Reception class was pretty chaotic as very busy.

Tiny school had a very nurturing feel but I worry they would feel claustrophobic as they grow and obviously they have a more limited set of opportunities for sport etc (as they are smaller so less well funded) and a smaller group of friendship options. Having said that they do lots of trips and there's no reason she wouldn't find good mates there too. It's a C of E which I found myself being surprised that I liked. Children come from within the village and neighbouring villages and even some from town.

I do keep wondering if we should keep looking but these houses are the only ones for sale in these villages and we are much more limited by our budget in town. Even though it's a healthy budget the house prices are genuinely mental round here. So we could be waiting and looking for months and still not find the right thing 🙁🫠

I'd go B as bigger school will have more clubs, more friends, less likely to close due to falling birth rate. Also more future proof for kids starting to go out on their own. Money saved on not driving to station/parking? Having to drive kids everywhere is exhausting if no public transport. Also think about secondaries. Time flies!

Well the secondary thing actually complicates matters even further. Option A is in village catchment for the outstanding grammar school in town whereas option B generally isnt- you're more likely to get into either the "requires improvement" high school or a good religious school.

What is the Secondary option for those who don't get into the Grammar school though?

It sounds like you want location B at the price of location A

Can you find some more compromises to get something cheaper in location B ?

I would go with option A. It sounds lovely and you would be better off financially. We’ve pushed ourselves financially for a better house but I’d sooner have the money now.

There are only three houses on the market in location B. We like two of them- one of them needs a decent amount of work but it's a good size the other one is a bit smaller but has no work needed. The one that needs work would require is to retain some cash from our sale to do the work which basically makes it an expensive option too.

I do like location B a lot for practical reasons but for more romantic reasons (and less practical ones) I.e access to very beautiful countryside, very pretty houses, future access to be able to do my stupid hobby (horse riding so it's stupid as it's ruiniously expensive) option A is better

This.
Can’t assume children will get into grammar so what is the plan B option?

I wouldn’t risk a year group of 10. It doesn’t take much of a skew for there to only be 3 girls or boys in the year which can limit friendship options. I’d buy house B and then consider moving back into catchment if you think they’ll make the grammar.

Could you just stay where you are as sounds like a lovely area and your dc will be able to pop out to things instead of driving all the time as they get older. Another thing l would look at is sport as your area might have more choice/ better teams and better facilities.

Otherwise A. Those small schools are often quite child centred and each child gets an opportunity to do stuff..eg parts in a play..instead of there being a big number to choose from.

Completely agree that a class of 10 is risky and 3 girls, 7 boys is a definitely possibility and could bring drama. My dd was in a class of 22 boys and 8 girls. If the number of girls are low, you could end up in a situation where the girls start leaving for schools where the numbers are more balanced.

Living near a grammar is only useful if she's grammar material. Where do the kids who fail the grammar test go?

Can you buy a house that is ok for say the next 5 years then move if house B catchment secondary is still poor? I live near a junior school that got inadequate but pulled itself up to good within a couple of years.

I'd definitely go option B. Those tiny village schools are at risk of being closed, as the birth rate has been dropping, in my town area they are closing all the small primaries. As your child(ren) grow up, it's so much easier if they can be independent and not be driven everywhere.

Or honestly I'd stay where you are for now, and move once you're considering secondaries.

Personally I'd focus on the location first, so work out your priorities for schools, both primary and secondary (although if your children are small you have the option to move later on if secondary arrangements change). Also really think about amenities, transport, clubs as these will have a much bigger impact on day to day living as your children grow. Will you actually use the pub regularly? We spend a lot of time ferrying around to activities and playdates with our primary age children but only go to the pub a handful of times a year, but you may eat out regularly and value that facility so it's very personal.

To me the house would be a secondary consideration. Things like a step up to the garden are an inconvenience when children are young, but quickly become irrelevant. If the garden is important to you I'd want there to be some flat areas though where you can put a trampoline or swing set.

Focus on picking your location then choose the best compromise from what is available at the time you are selling.

For what it's worth I'd choose B as being in a hub is more important to me than living in a countryside location as we only really get time to go outdoors regularly at weekends. I would also prefer wider access to a pool of children locally for potential friendships, and independence for my children to walk/cycle as they get older. But if you are prepared to commit the time and effort to drive them around you can facilitate lots of social and sporting activities outside of school in the nearby town, and may prefer the quieter day to day school and village surroundings.

I would go to location B

Wouldn’t want to be car based for everything incl local shop, play dates, being a taxi etc. This is especially important for secondary.

A tiny nurturing school is great if the small number of pupils (of the same sex past year 3) include the right friends and there are no fall outs.

I wouldn't move if I were you. OK your house isn't practical for small children but they don't stay small for long, and your house sounds much more future proofed for both primary and secondary ages. Also if you move out of your lovely town you won't be able to afford to move back.

Sorry I should have said that the grammar isn't selective- it's called a grammar but there is no exam.

We definitely aren't going to stay in our current house because I desperately want a garden for me and for the children (and our cats). In the summer we spend the whole weekend trying to think of activities outside of the house because we have no garden to play in and (without wanting to be too dramatic) I feel like I'm letting them down with having nowhere to run around or play. We keep saying to each other that our house would be perfect in ten years but I am absolutely set on moving to give them a house with a garden whilst they are small (3, 1 and 1 on the way).

You've all raised some good points about the small school having potential risks in terms of class size.

Hobbies and clubs I'm probably less concerned about as we typically drive to them from where we are now as they tend to be slightly out of town- ballet and swimming is a drive for example so A wouldn't add much in terms of driving time.

I suppose the major thing is that house A would allow us to be a bit more financially relaxed as our mortgage would be smaller. Both of the houses in B either requires borrowing at the top of our budget which would be £400 extra on our mortgage or limiting our deposit to reserve money to do a project. Obviously a project is good eventually but can cause a lot of stress in the short term.

Also worth saying that both of these options are villages so the main clubs and town and supermarket etc is always going to be a drive away. Having said that B is closer to town and does have a train so I suppose teenagers can access town via train if they want to. Another point to consider is that A is served by a school bus to the schools, B isn't (I don't think).

Ignore that last point- they both have buses to the main schools in town so at least I wouldn't be driving to secondary school every day

I think I'd go with house A, it just sounds overall like a nicer location and I think while you could move in 10 years for secondary that would mean moving your younger two when they're in the midst of primary and starting your whole thought process again.

I may be a bit biased because my youngest dd is quite introverted so definitely benefitted from a smaller class size and not being drowned out or invisible.

I would always choose the more family friendly, well connected area. Before you know it your kids will want to play out with friends, walk to the shop, have more than 10 other kids in their year to make friends from.

I agree with this. Nurturing in YR and Y1 can become a problem as they get older and friendship options are more limited. Even with an equal split you can't guarantee they all have the same interests (e.g. 4x boys that like chess and 1x that doesn't and would rather play football)

Also likely to be fewer opportunities for sports teams, choirs, orchestras etc. if that's their thing.

Can you live in House A but go to School B?

@ChicoryDip we actually could do that but the school would be a drive away although it's only a 7 minute drive as it's the next village along. Would seem a bit silly to drive past the village school to get to the other big town school and would mean they wouldn't know the kids in the village either?