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When did you get excited?

11 replies

Littlemissyme1982 · 20/09/2023 12:12

So… finally buying our first house. Which in actual fact is mine. Excited to have a place to call home but also a little nervous as the other half is taking over. He wants to know the ins and outs, where the money has gone (he wants passwords to saving accounts etc). I’ve repaid what he thinks I owe (for years he’s been paying the bills so he doesn’t have to do anything even though we both work full time). I’ve worked full time and done everything in the house from cleaning to buying the food, cooking etc. we’re in a blessed position but he’s still trying to take control. I can do this… my money, my decision to give him half but I hate being told what to do. Suggestions please 🙏🏻

OP posts:
dreamersdown · 20/09/2023 12:22

Not sure I understand - are you buying him out after a separation? Or are you for some mad reason paying for everything but giving someone half as a gift?

midgemadgemodge · 20/09/2023 12:25

Dont totally understand

Don't give anyone passwords to your accounts ever

Seek legal advice

dearanon · 20/09/2023 12:26

Don't give him passwords and access to your accounts ffs.

Is he always this controlling? I would run for the hills to be honest.

Totaly · 20/09/2023 12:28

Why are you giving him half?

You don’t make any sense.

TheLuckyOnes · 20/09/2023 12:31

Why are you giving him half your house???

Bluevelvetsofa · 20/09/2023 12:37

Don’t give him anything.

Heronwatcher · 20/09/2023 12:38

Erm, my suggestion is that if he’s being a PITA now and taking over things, don’t give him half of the house. You do realise that if you’re married, or sometimes even if not, if he decides he wants out of the relationship he could try to get the place sold and have you kicked out?

If he thinks you owe him money, how about you work out how much rent would be on the house you’re buying and you give him a rent free period for a short time?

Otherwise, if it’s your house purchased with your money then it’s your name on the deeds, you have the passwords and nothing else in the background (no deed of gift, agreement, tenancy). Anything else would be incredibly foolish.

NewFriendlyLadybird · 20/09/2023 13:42

Don’t give him passwords. Rethink your relationship.

Our first house was in fact mine, based on my salary — We relocated because I was offered a new job and we weren’t married. We kept our money separate, though both contributed in different ways to the house, and he would not have dreamed of asking me for my passwords. Had he done so, he would not now be my DH.

DepartureLounge · 20/09/2023 15:16

Give us some more info @Littlemissyme1982 so we can help you.

Property, financial or relationship advice, we've got 'em all. Wink

Twiglets1 · 20/09/2023 16:06

DepartureLounge · 20/09/2023 15:16

Give us some more info @Littlemissyme1982 so we can help you.

Property, financial or relationship advice, we've got 'em all. Wink

True... we could even analyse the house if @Littlemissyme1982 felt like giving us a link.

Whichwhich · 21/09/2023 06:20

You say you both work full time but he pays for everything, I'm assuming this means the rent and utilities? While you pay for food?

Why have you got this arrangement and why are you doing all the chores if you both work full time?

Also, is there a reason you're buying the house (I assume inheritance, cash buy?) Will you have a mortgage?

Lots of clarification needed...

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