Help

[nerdandgeek]

I hate my house and we have a 12 and nearly 15 year old sharing a room divided with a kalex. They have the bigger room but it's a massive window and we can't use plasterboard. We have the small room. We bought it cheaply after renting it out. The kids argue and I know it upsets them to not have their own room. Our living room (2 bed terrace) you come straight into with stairs in it. I just feel so bad for the kids it's too small. We rented 2007-2017 and bought in 2017. Even with the rise in property prices (bought for 135k now worth 190k) we can't afford a 3 bed which is now 250k. We both work full time about 20k each and the COL has hit us hard. Fixed mortgage for a year. We lost on out on a house which tbh was a complete gutting job but a bargain at 140k for three bed. Eldest placed at SEN school has LD autism and challenging behaviour. I have a chronic back prob so sleeping on a sofa bed isn't an option. I think a loft extension though v small would give extra bedroom however doesn't change the living space issue. It would not add any value to the house sadly. How easy is it to release equity? How much for a loft extension? And would anyone do this without adding much value? I'm aware we are lucky to be on the property ladder only enabled by inheritance but I feel so miserable here and feel I've failed the children. We know it's illegal for them to share but back in 2017 we never thought we would still be here. I'm so fed up. We looked at renting ourselves and renting this house out but I couldn't take the risk of someone trashing it and we don't have the funds for this

I would not advise you to borrow more money at this stage as you are both low income and interest rates are high, do not even consider equity release offers, effectively they ultimately own your house. So I’d advise just dealing with it and in a few years the kids may go to uni or move out,

It’s not illegal for them to share. Please don’t do equity release. You’d be better getting a builder in a looking at splitting the room with a plaster board wall. Even with a window, it can be done.

sorry to hear this. sellers are being absolute arses not bring prices down, you can only wait because it will happen.

it's not illegal for siblings to share a room, but are they a boy and girl? If so, that must be extra hard :(

Yes boy and girl thanks all I think they were my thoughts
It's horrible hating your home

No one gets any space to themselves at all. I go to the gym to get some time away from the constant arguing over one child being irritated by the others noise. I also mostly wfh and I work in my small bedroom which sucks

The only good point is mortgage is £465 a month

I can only imagine, and had a feeling you meant they are boy and girl and this is causing difficulty. it's not illegal i think, but it's not psychologically ideal. I really believe there will be a massive price correction soon, so there is hope there :) also, I personally feel there will be a housing crash, many may disgree but to me wider economical factors will play in this. unemployment has also gone up and that's a big one to drag us into a recession and worse stagflation.

outside of this, do you mind me offering some solutions to help with the current situation as i can tell this is difficult and distressing :)

1. get a plaster wall in that can divide the spaces for changing and providing privacy as someone else has suggested (but something that can be easily removed for your eventual sale one day)
2. turn a reception room (if poss) into a bedroom. if it's large enough, split it with a plaster wall somehow.
3. i'm totally assuming here, but if you are a hetero couple, maybe dad can share with son, and mum share with daughter? (i literally just thought of this)
4. is your room larger than there's? if so, swap so that wall will be more effective.
5. if your kids absolutely hate it, can one stay with a relative who has space?

i'm only suggesting the above because i grew up quite poor here and so did many of my family members and the solutions above were the only ones that would work for them while they saved up.

i know it's so difficult, but the fact you're worrying shows how much you care and you will find a solution :) in the meantime, save up what you can... good luck OP

Thank you@whyisitallsohard for suggestions
Kids have the bigger bedroom
We have the small room which also I work from as wfh.
I couldn't be apart from my children
We don't have any reception rooms bar living room
It would put a strain on our marriage if we didn't share a bed I couldn't share with my daughter.
I agree re price reduction and might be an option for us
Thank you for caring to write that

I'm going to get a quote for bedroom definitely current set up of both bedrooms kids room door gives daughter a door @whyisitallsohard

Would anything like the pic work? Could you add a conservatory or garden room as an office?

It sounds very stressful, sorry you are feeling fed up.

However, I wouldn’t personally add a loft extension if it won’t add value. You always need to think about whether the changes you make to a house will add value or not. Otherwise it’s better to save the money you would have spent on a loft extension towards moving house one day. Appreciate that may be a long time in the future though. I wouldn’t worry about your current set up being illegal, if it is. You do what you can & your children are warm and safe.

I like that @SM4713 :) thank you everyone for your kind words and listening to a pity party

I feel your pain! This will be us in a few tears dc are 7 & 9 nearly 10, dd & ds sharing at moment. Looking at room dividers now!