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Original poster

Options for housing 22 year old.

69 replies

Blackblueandgold · 02/09/2023 13:53

22 year old is looking at options for housing and need ideas please.

He has a temporary work contract which ends this month, no savings, no credit history so bad credit rating on credit report searches.

He was looking at renting a house with his gf but as he doesn't have a permanent work contract or a good credit rating this now isn't possible. I believe its the same if they tried to rent a room in a houseshare. They asked one parent to be guarantor but answer was a no as he isn't good with money and parent hasn't ever met gf so would be mad to take on financial responsibility for someone they've never met.

One parent lives abroad so he can't live with them. The other parent doesn't have a spare room and there is no family that has room.

Can anyone think of any options here? Presumably if he went to the council he'd get put in temporary accommodation for years as not a high priority.

OP posts:

JaneIntheBox · 02/09/2023 17:44

Blackblueandgold · 02/09/2023 17:37

I am a parent. I never said I wasn't

Show quote history

OK, so why are you bothered at the other parent being 'appalled'?
Why have you not sat your son down and given him a good dose of reality? Why is he not doing all the research as to what he can and can't afford?

You have a lot of assumptions, you said you're 'not sure' if things are possible but PP have given several suggestions. If it's a question of finding something in 2 weeks and he can't then he'd have to present as homeless but it doesn't seem that he's flat out trying to house himself. You are, on his behalf.

Do you feel guilty that he can't even sleep on your sofa?

I'm not trying to judge you here. There are a lot of solutions but it depends on the problem. It looks like you're going at it the wrong way around, the lack of housing is tied to a lack of job. But you're solving the former before a latter. If it's a case of where to stay temporarily until he gets a job I'm sure council temp accommodation won't be that bad.

but your OP makes it sound that you think he deserves a nice permanent house from council where he and GF can live as a couple. Why?

KievLoverTwo · 02/09/2023 17:45

Blackblueandgold · 02/09/2023 17:20

The problem is they have nowhere to live right now so need to find a home to live in while they save up. They're on friends sofas for the next 2 weeks then are pretty much homeless.
I agree it's not for us to sort but the other parent is appalled at the fact we won't go guarantor for them so we were trying to help with an alternative suggestion.

Here’s what my mum would have done:

Told me to get a weekend job as well

Told me to get a paper round as well as my first job and weekend job - she would have still told me that if I was 22, I promise you

Make me apply for all the jobs no matter what qualifications or experience they ask for

Make me travel to whatever local big towns and cities are accessible for work

I was pushed at a very young age and ended up earning 29k by the age of 27 after leaving school at 15 with four crap GCSEs, because things like NOT doing all of the above would have never been an option in my household.

I won’t suggest any of it was nice. It was terrifying, initially. It worked though. I very quickly became completely independent.

User13865890 · 02/09/2023 17:49

Maybe if OP had said my son at the start it would have been a lot clearer

cestlavielife · 02/09/2023 17:49

Get a job any job or appentice paying something
Crefit card use for every day shopping and pay off each month to build credit history
Same with mobile contract.

Original poster

Blackblueandgold · 02/09/2023 17:54

I am his step parent.
He lived abroad with the other parent for a couple of years then decided to move back over here to be with his gf so won't want to move back overseas.

He could stay on our sofa but not sure where all of his stuff would go and has lived here previously and left because he didn't like out rules so I don't think he'd want to do that anyway.

I absolutely do not think the council should give him a house. I was just trying to see what options there were before we offered him our advice.

OP posts:

TomatoSandwiches · 02/09/2023 17:58

Blackblueandgold · 02/09/2023 17:54

I am his step parent.
He lived abroad with the other parent for a couple of years then decided to move back over here to be with his gf so won't want to move back overseas.

He could stay on our sofa but not sure where all of his stuff would go and has lived here previously and left because he didn't like out rules so I don't think he'd want to do that anyway.

I absolutely do not think the council should give him a house. I was just trying to see what options there were before we offered him our advice.

He is 22, he should have made his own plan before he moved back over to where you are.
This is his problem not yours, what does his parent, your partner think?

JaneIntheBox · 02/09/2023 18:21

TomatoSandwiches · 02/09/2023 17:58

He is 22, he should have made his own plan before he moved back over to where you are.
This is his problem not yours, what does his parent, your partner think?

Show quote history

This OP.
Also he seems to have plenty of options to me. Stay on your sofa (put stuff in storage). Present as homeless and get put into temp accommodation. If spare room really does not have 'couples' rooms as you say you can look at other sites, post on local FB pages, his GF's income should be enough.

But your problem seems to be bigger. Your step-son has no direction or ambition. Doesn't want to live in a house share. Doesn't like your rules. No permanent job, wants to live with GF but applying for apprenticeships and getting upset at the wages.

If all you wanted was confirmation from MN that the magical 'couple's own property in 2 weeks time' doesn't exist, so that the other parent doesn't call you cruel, you have my confirmation and blessing to tell that to him, and them. As they're clearly deluded.

You've also said 'it's so hard'... when it's not really, your step-son isn't even applying for minimum wage jobs so there's nothing hard here except for his laziness. You seem to be thinking it's not really his fault, the deck is stacked against him when he's just quite entitled...

Jamjarcandlestick · 02/09/2023 18:31

He gets a CSCS card (heath and safety to work on U.K. sites) that only takes a day for what, £70. Then he can walk into any agency as sites are desperate for labourers. We’re in the south east and it’s generally £14 an hour for unskilled labours with zero experience.

worst case scenario is that in two weeks he can pay for a hostel/hotel/Airbnb.

Ilovethewild · 02/09/2023 18:51

op just to add, if he has family in UK who have a sofa and family overseas to stay with, he is not homeless, but he is making himself homeless and the council will not help him.
he needs a job, close to a sofa, save hard and get enough to save for rental property.

it is hard for young people who earn nmw or low wage to rent in cities, as rent is so high, that’s why they share! He needs to live within his means.

sadaboutmycat · 02/09/2023 18:54

Not all house shares require credit checks. He needs to look on FB Marketplace, local pages etc. someone will do rent a room.

Tiespin · 02/09/2023 19:03

He needs to grow up quick. Job first, or two jobs even better. The relationship can wait while he gets his employment sorted out. Girlfriend can do the same and once they are in a better financial position then they can start looking to live together

MariaAshley · 02/09/2023 19:47

Looking on spareroom.com shows all available rooms are single occupancy only.

Well yes, she has a place with her parent, he needs a job and a room. In time they both improve on the job front and can eventually afford to rent or buy together. That's how life works.

EleanorLucyG · 02/09/2023 19:59

OP just to add, if he has family in UK who have a sofa and family overseas to stay with, he is not homeless, but he is making himself homeless and the council will not help him.

That's not how it works. His family have no legal obligation to take him in. If he has no room or bed and isn't welcome to stay, he's not housed, even if family does take him in. He'd qualify as homeless once the landlord has gone to court for eviction OP, not if he leaves once landlord asks him to - that's voluntary homelessness.

Unfortunately, as a single male he'll be very low down on the council's priority list in terms of homeless people and depending on how much demand there is in your area, he may struggle to even get given a place in a temporary accommodation homeless hostel.

He should apply to the council anyway even if not homeless, the worst that can happen is they say no. If he's allowed to join the list then at least he's on it and if life doesn't improve he may get a place eventually, even if it takes decades.

Getting evicted by the courts won't encourage anyone else to rent to him. So realistically, if he doesn't want to end up on the streets (where he'll struggle to keep his job due to sleep and hygiene issues), he needs to be proactive in finding somewhere to live. Which means not turning down options because it's not suitable for playing happy families in.

He needs a reality check

job,
room,
make progress,
happy families.

MariaAshley · 02/09/2023 20:14

Blackblueandgold · 02/09/2023 17:54

I am his step parent.
He lived abroad with the other parent for a couple of years then decided to move back over here to be with his gf so won't want to move back overseas.

He could stay on our sofa but not sure where all of his stuff would go and has lived here previously and left because he didn't like out rules so I don't think he'd want to do that anyway.

I absolutely do not think the council should give him a house. I was just trying to see what options there were before we offered him our advice.

You can start your advice to him with information about the difference between needs and wants. And how he has to prioritise needs over wants.

He needs a roof over his head. He wants to live with girlfriend. He needs a job to afford rent. He appears to not really want to work or to not want to work for entry level wages.

It's obvious where he has to start. GF would be mad to move in with him before he's sorted his life out, he's a cocklodger in the making. Advice to her is to get her contraception rock solid. He's just the sort of person to think getting his GF pregnant would be a good way to jump the council house queue.

It's very telling that he's 22 and you, not even a blood relative, is trying to sort his life out for him. He should be sorting it all out himself, not crying in the corner defeated because he can't get his own way and walk into a well paying job, with no experience and sketchy work history, to rent a house with his GF.

MariaAshley · 02/09/2023 20:31

Blackblueandgold · 02/09/2023 16:13

I agree most obvious answer is to live separately but they're stubborn, what can we do?
I just looked on fb marketplace and can see the cheap caravans mentioned earlier, thanks.

What can you do? You can stop trying to solve their problems and let them be forced into the usual route of living separately, which should be the wake up call they both need to grow up and start behaving like adults instead of spoiled brats who thinks the world owes them what they want. You're honestly doing them no favours getting involved like this. If you put them on your driveway in a caravan there'll be rows about electric and bathroom use and he'll still be there when he's 50. He's been asked to leave his parents friends place earlier than planned because he has an attitude problem, it's so obvious.

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/09/2023 20:34

I know a young couple who live in a caravan. Sounds a bit mad but works well for them. Cost around £1,500 to buy and they stay on Caravan Club sites, which average around £11 per day including electric, showers, etc. They move with work contracts so it’s ideal.

Yalta · 10/11/2023 09:22

The problems are he does not have a permanent job, his credit rating and the fact he is not good with money

He could get the permanent work by going for one of the poorly paid apprenticeships and then could top up his salary with UC and housing benefit or getting weekend or evening jobs

Also having goals in mind, saving for a deposit on a flat, being able to move in with gf, then saving for a deposit on a house etc helps a lot. (I think they both should budget so they are on the same page)

Both should get a credit card type card where you put money on before you spend it (forgot the name of them)
It helps to build your credit rating.

Being bad with money needs help now as it will just get worse over time. He needs a budget he can realistically stick to

These things take time (probably around 2-3 months rather than 2-3 years)

I have taught both now adult children that before you buy anything you shop around, look for discount codes and cash back sites and places like EBay/Fbmp/Wowcher/TooGoodToGo etc, you can ask for tap water when eating out and always use loyalty cards when you are buying anything. The points add up

NewFriendlyLadybird · 10/11/2023 09:45

He has options, he’s just focused on one solution that’s not going to happen. He and his GF can’t live together yet: it’s as simple as that.

UnbeatenMum · 29/05/2024 14:43

He is currently homeless (sofa surfing counts) so the council might put him in temporary accommodation or a hostel although single men who aren't considered vulnerable are the lowest priority. He definitely wouldn't get a council flat for many years if at all, it would be up to him to find a room to rent. He might be able to secure somewhere by paying 6 months rent in advance if he doesn't have a guarantor. As he's homeless and on a low income he might be able to apply for a discretionary housing payment from the council to cover some of this. Perhaps his parents would also chip in a bit?

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