Moving away from city?

[confusedofcanterbury]

Just seeking external views, as I've overthought so much I'm not sure what I think anymore....

We live in a city in the Midlands with our son. Both work in the same school in city, and will continue to work there for the foreseeable. We have a son who is pre-school age. We live in a nice area, in a house which is fine if a bit small for us now with a small garden. It's 20 mins to work and his nursery. However, we have the opportunity to sell up and move to a village on the edge of a market town about an hour away: bigger, potentially forever home, nearer family, huge garden, pub on the lane, 20 min walk into the town which has shops/schools/general town-like facilities (although secondary is good only, current local is outstanding, but outstanding primary). We have some friends here, but not loads, not least because we moved here around COVID time.

Town is connected to city where we work by a direct train (an hour), school where we work is right by the station . We obviously don't go to the school in school holidays (and it's private, so they are relatively long -- haven't been since mid-June currently, for example...). During term I am usually there 2-3 days a week depending on timetable. It will be a stretch on current interest rates, but affordable, and our mortgage is due to go up massively next year anyway when we have to renew it.

My AIBU is -- am I being unreasonable to consider this move? It feels like a real opportunity to move somewhere we love while son is still little and give him a more rural childhood. But it will be a big change, more juggling in term time, longer commute etc. And what if we don't like it?!
Are we making a mistake? How can we tell?

Would love to hear from others who have faced a similar dilemma and how it turned out!

My concern with an 'outstanding' school would be how recently was it inspected and does the 'outstanding' just reflect it being in a 'naice' area with good results rather than excellent teaching for all the pupils. A 'good' school that has been inspected more recently may be a better bet.

How regular are the trains? Especially as I think you are saying you only go in for some of the timetable (not a same time each day train).
How much will train fares add to your bills?
Would you need to drive to the station ?

@JaninaDuszejko the inspection was recent but equally it is almost certainly because our current local secondary is in a super middle class area where people pay a premium to get into that school! The good school in the market town has an inspection from 2022 which is 'Good' and not really many negative comments tbh. But being in a market town it has a wider catchment, more mixed demographic (oh, and is mixed sex too) -- which may explain why GCSE results aren't as good...

@UsingChangeofName hourly, more or less, sometimes every 40 mins depending on time of day. The station is a 20 min walk from house, or 5 mins in car (there is parking). Train fare is def an extra cost -- it's approx £15 for a return.

What will a 'rural childhood' actually entail? I grew up in a rural area and it was dull and when I got to secondary I was isolated until I could drive. In comparison my dc have access to everything on their doorsteps, softplays, climbing centres, tons of after school clubs in anything you can think of, theatres, cinemas, skating rinks etc.

I don't know why so are stressing so much about schools. You must know that the children of teachers (and you are both teachers) are usually, statistically, ahead of the pack. If the school was RI then that's different but the choice between Good and Outstanding isn't a deal-breaker.

I think an hour's commute is too long and it is madness to rely on trains.

Move away from the city but not to this house. There will be others.

While the village sounds lovely the commute sounds horrendous!!! That would get old very quickly

Ah so many good points here!
@CuriousPorg I guess a bigger garden, bigger house with space for sleepovers and friends to come over, a safer area where he could walk to local park/friends (it's too busy here for that to be safe until teen years), access to outdoor activities like biking that don't involve busy dangerous roads or horse riding, keeping chickens, plus all the usual stuff you can do most small towns/places that aren't crazy rural (scouts, after school clubs, cinema, whatever). Not a skating rink though, admittedly...!

@Imogensmumma and @senua even if it's 2-3 days a week, for 20ish weeks of the year? I agree year round would be madness, but for about 30weeks of year we are at home anyway with the occasional Teams meeting thrown in. Argh maybe you are right.

It sounds as though you would want to move house anyway as the current one is too small for you, so I would definitely be planning to upsize, and if that means a longer commute, so be it. Financially it seems to be good timing as well. Sounds like the house you have in mind is in a great area, but definitely have a look around to see if there are any closer options.

I'd do it - but only if you are confident that you can make the commute work and are willing to change jobs to work in a different school it it doesn't.

So for example consider - do you have a fall back plan to get you to work when there are train strikes, signal failures, leaves on the track, whatever? Can you drive and park even if it's expensive? How early do you have to leave in the morning and what are the childcare arrangements going to be to get your DS to his school in time (he may not be school age yet but he will be before you know it)? What about the after school childcare arrangements? What happens if the train breaks down when you are half way home and you get stuck - is there family who can collect DS?

If you can, I'd try spending a night in the town and try the commute at the time you would be doing it to scope out how long it really takes. Also, there is a big difference between an hour on a train when you can work (marking, lesson plan?) or properly relax with a book/magazine/downloaded TV show and standing up for an hour.

Thanks all. Lots of good points here. Am going to talk to DH tonight and see...
@SummerInSun doing a trial commute is a great idea!

doing a trial commute is a great idea!
Don't forget that commuting during the school holidays is different from term time. You probably need to do your trial a few days after the state schools have gone back but before you are back at school yourselves.