How to renovate with a toddler in tow? Practical tips?

[sellotape12]

We are (hopefully) buying a house that needs work and I’m getting really nervous about what that will mean for our life during a renovation. Can you share your advice/ must do/ “wish we’d never?”

We have done a reno before but DH and I were in our mid twenties and no kids - now we have an energetic 18m old and two full time jobs. I remember our weekends were taken up with sanding, priming, decorating, arguing, going to Screwfix etc and we felt in limbo for a year.

is moving out for a little bit simply a must have that we need to factor in this time? How did you keep it livable and dust free for your kids? How did you find the time to do things like decorating when weekends are usally filled with playground visits? How do you not go insane? Should we use an architect this time and get them to project manage?

FYI it’d be a small downstairs extension and renovation, including foundations, steel, new kitchen, glazing, adding a downstairs loo. The living room could be sealed off as a sanctuary I guess.

thanks! PS this is not Grand Designs level of stuff where we have to live in a caravan for three years, just a modest semi that needs extending and modernising a bit! 😂

This is quite inspiring! Watching with interest. We bought a fixer upper with two under 5s. Almost two years in and we've done nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's driving me mad it I just don't know where to get the time or energy.

Yea @Callisto1 although both sets of grandparents are in Wales four hours away! So realistically it’s not possible for the to whisk him away for a day trip. He’d have to stay with them. I would miss him terribly! But maybe it’ll be easier if he’s close to two or two and a half?

Going through this with 2DCs and 1:30am is my new bedtime- 5-6 hrs sleep a night but have gotten A lot done in two months, we are out at work/ school/ daycare when major work was being done by trades then evenings was the painting, sanding, tidying, moving furniture, ordering etc. weekends is one on kids on on house( so mostly me with kids tbh!) . Doable but not enjoyable 🤪

Gah, Riding has reminded me of the decision fatigue 😓

Yes, yes also to decisions that need both of you. We were at a tile shop days after I gave birth as the tiles we’d chosen had sold out, so we needed to choose everything again - not ideal. Before the build starts choose (ideally buy even) absolutely everything - have a bedroom that is your stock room with clearly labelled areas for each room.

I also don’t recognise PP’s idea of getting three hours in as they go to bed at 19:00! On a good week one of us will get a 2ish hours twice a week, genuinely. On the grandparent/help side, we’ve done week long stints without the small child and just worked ourselves solid. Also annual leave days while they’re at nursery.

We did it with 3 kids under 4 (was in labour with the 3rd and discussing windows on the phone with the builder).

Builders did the extension, DH ripped apart and rebuilt rest of ground floor.

We did it in stages so we could keep living in the house. Built a temporary kitchen after we ripped out bathroom. Split up the house which did mean DH could be working in one half without kids getting in.

We then went to stay with my mum for 2 weeks anytime nursery was on holiday and planned all the big jobs that needed the whole place open for those times.

Forget trying to do DIY with the small person. Best case it will drive you demented cos you'll have to keep stopping. Worst case the toddler will get hurt.

These dustguards are an absolute lifesaver for containing dust as long as you have good 'discipline' with them.

Good luck. It's not fun! But it was worth it for us.

www.screwfix.com/p/dustguard-dust-barrier-2-15m-x-950mm/4547T?tc=QC6&ds_rl=1243321&ds_rl=1247848&ds_rl=1241687&ds_rl=1247848&ds_rl=1245250&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0bunBhD9ARIsAAZl0E2ahMpigqVcrSBBjZM32e64obm_BWj14hi5VTkZxYfCTFnuCYiiWGQaAuUzEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Yep. You are right. Definitely certifiable. We managed by doing it for short stints, a room at a time. So we would have chaos and DIY evenings for a couple of weeks and then a break of several months until we had built up enough stamina for another room.

If there are two of you, and the room is prepped, you can paint a large room in a week's worth of evenings and still have at least one evening off.

So week 1 strip wallpaper, fill holes and sand woodwork. Week 2 paint.

That's quite a distance away @sellotape12. But it might be worth it to go away for the weekends so one of you can work on the house in peace. I found it hard to do multi-day jobs with kids about. I think if we didn't have 2 months overlap with our rental we would have gone insane honestly.

Working in the evening is also tricky as you can't make too much noise or leave tools about. Maybe less of an issues at 18 months, but our 3 year old would get up before us and play around the house. Think I mostly painted doors in the evenings. Basically I would manage expectations and be prepared for this to take a long time.

Book a weeks annual leave together while he is in Nursery full days to do the messiest stuff (combine it with a few nights in a Premier Inn that week, so no wasted time cleaning each evening to make it safer for him).

Sorry OP, haven't RTFT. We've just finished an extension, ours were 4 and 2 when we started.

We used an architect to project manage, by far the best aspect of this was his work to find the builder. Said builder works with him regularly (i.e. can't lose the business) and had done work on the architect's own house so we knew he was trustworthy. Having a decent builder made the whole thing run very smoothly, and they were very respectful of the fact that we were living in the house.

If you're planning on doing the work yourself, you're mad. Certifiable. 2 FT jobs and a 2yo is full on without anything extra on top, you know that.

Our kids LOVED the builders and took the whole thing in their strides, but we didn't replace the kitchen which helped. You'll need a builder who's on board with practicalities like making sure you have a washing machine - that was literally the first thing ours did, to move the washing machine and tumble dryer.

Do you have the option to not move in until extension is done? We're renovating now and not living there, and it's made it so much quicker and easier as tradespeople can just get on with it and not have to clear up/make good each night. If you have family or friends, you could either ask them to babysit or to give you a hand whilst you or your partner have little one.

Such a good plan, thanks

We’re 5 years into a BIG reno (think unmortgageable house with no kitchen for a year) and doing all the work ourselves.

I’ve done two babies and have my second toddler phase through it.

You have to accept that one person is on toddler duty when they’re awake and make the most of evenings and nap times. You don’t really get downtime in the evening because that’s reno time.

And you buy no nice clothes because those kids are constantly filthy.

@JenniferBarkley @Geneticsbunny sorry to not be cool ha, but when you keep saying ‘certifiable’ do you mean I’m crazy? if so, I think it’s been a misunderstanding? I’m not suggesting we would do the building work ourselves. We would absolutely use a builder. I just meant for some of the jobs that tend to cost a lot but which we can do ourselves, we would try. So I mean painting basically! And perhaps the odd bit of tiling.

We do have friends that did everything themselves such as fitting their kitchen, tiling their flooring, plumbing and lots of carpentry. It took them the best part of the year and that was without kids. So no.

We did a full house reno with a 5yo and 3yo. It was during lockdown so for the most part couldn't even rely on others to provide us with an evening meal. I am really glad we did it and as someone else said, we just embraced the 'adventure' side of it all. The kids were brilliant respecting the dangers of life on a building site, loved the experience of living with a ladder instead of a proper staircase. We moved around bedrooms and made cosy spaces downstairs. Decorated for birthdays and Christmas etc. we kept our kitchen running as long as possible but eventually bought a temporary full size / free standing oven etc as we couldn't survive full time with camping style cooking facilities alone. Agree with others that compared to our previous 'pre-kids' reno, you generally can only rely on one person doing most of the work. We agreed that I would focus on the kids and keeping the day to day lives going and DH would progress the work as much as possible. Occasionally we would switch duties if i needed a break from the kids or their was something more in line with my skill set around the house. We did big stuff like moving furniture, planning, ordering stuff etc in the evenings but were too tired to do too much physical work once the kids were in bed. Everything took much longer than it did previously. There were times we panicked about money and whether we would ever finish especially with the pandemic and rising cost of living. It was really stressful. But the part of actually doing it with kids was actually fun, and they still talk happily about this being a house 'we built together'. We also got them involved with some decisions and prepping/decorating their own rooms etc.

@sellotape12 yes, crazy but I was including myself in that. We did a DIY renovation (with professionals for the harder bits like electrics and new heating) started when my eldest was 10 months and finished when I had a 4 year old and a 2 year old.

We did all the painting, some of the prep work and booked in all the different trades when we needed them .

You might not have a toddler by the time you find a builder to extend tbh 😄 we’ve been planning for 3 years and build has finally started 😍

@PerspiringElizabeth Argh oh wow! Is this in london too? I also just found this article which has really put the chill on all of this to be honest…
https://www.ft.com/content/5b9a1ac2-d692-4d0b-8c4b-61d12a5e3949

Best of luck OP, (not trying to be glib).
We are at the opposite stage of life, and now three years later, 3/4 way through a complete renovation.
We found the house before covid, did not visualise taking on such an extensive project and were very much misdirected by the surveyor.
We have had electricians, plumbers, builders and fitters for the main jobs, and taken on the tiling, skirting boards, ‘corrections’ and decoration ourselves.
Time and dust will two of your main problems. Recommend that you take the advice of people that have gone through this with small children and prioritise health and safety above other considerations.
It certainly won’t be easy, but as others before you have proved, not totally impossible either.

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@Fifiesta thank you, and congratulations for being over halfway through.
This thread and the kind and thoughtful replies have honestly made us rethink the whole thing. Not just about the inconvenience, which I think I could deal with, but the rising costs of materials and labour. As that FT article put it, a 75K loft conversion (example) 2 years ago would now cost someone 125K.
Maybe it doesn’t make sense to do a fixer upper anymore…

Yes, renovation costs are now so high it often doesn't make financial sense - possibly why there seem to be more fixer uppers hanging around on the market here now compared to 18 months ago.

We're way past the highest price on the road with ours after the renovation work. So there's no way we'd recoup the cost if we sold within a few years. That's fine with us as we intend to live here for a long time and we've planned for it taking us from bringing up children to old age/unable to manage stairs.